God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking,
drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven.
The woman said she would try her best. God visited the
woman a week later to see how she was getting on.
"Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking
but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and
my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels,
he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made
love to me right then and there."
"They don't like that in heaven", said God.
The woman replied: "They're not too happy about it in Costco either!"
God (some adult humor for you guys)
- Kitsune
- Posts: 1046
- Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:09 pm
- Patron Deities: (Claimed by many names unknown, probably hellcats)
- Your favourite Demon?: HBRFD-S, Ancestor Z (dragon), Cthulhu, My entire tribe from back home (dragons), Lord Sorath,others
- Number of Demon Familiars: 5
- Location: Earth
- Has thanked: 3 times
- Been thanked: 51 times
~Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup~
"If you are a dreamer come in
If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar
A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer
If youre a pretender com sit by my fire
For we have some flax golden tales to spin
Come in!
Come in!" ~Shel Silverstein
"If you are a dreamer come in
If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar
A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer
If youre a pretender com sit by my fire
For we have some flax golden tales to spin
Come in!
Come in!" ~Shel Silverstein
- Amaranth Rose
- Posts: 887
- Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2017 3:43 am
- Number of Demon Familiars: 5
- Location: In the forest
- Has thanked: 44 times
- Been thanked: 19 times
Plot twist! Hahaha!
Hope will never die!" -Lucina
“In a world of spiders and flies, you are a butterfly.” - companion J
“In a world of spiders and flies, you are a butterfly.” - companion J
- User3246
- Posts: 2950
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2016 6:36 am
- Patron Deities: Papa Legba, Shiva, Odin
- Your favourite Demon?: Samael , Lord Uphir, Lord Asmodeus, Lord Satan, Lord Mammon, Lord Azazel
- Number of Demon Familiars: 17
- Has thanked: 9 times
- Been thanked: 123 times
If it had been Walmart it wouldn't be a joke! XD
“If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn
"The Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried."
Do not rely on ANYTHING, unexamined. If It does not seem to fit, ask about it. If it ultimately degrades or dishonors or holds you back, it is bad for you, so remove it from your life. If it takes from you and never gives back, it is a leech. Discard it. In magick rely only on your own work: What you have seen and done and used for your own self and in your own way. Only keep what in your own estimation is worth keeping. (Hellcat's Rules Of Satanic Magick)"
Don't get too close. It's Dark inside. It's where my Demons hide!
Hailing Satan isn't a hobby, its a lifestyle. (S@tan)
"The Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried."
Do not rely on ANYTHING, unexamined. If It does not seem to fit, ask about it. If it ultimately degrades or dishonors or holds you back, it is bad for you, so remove it from your life. If it takes from you and never gives back, it is a leech. Discard it. In magick rely only on your own work: What you have seen and done and used for your own self and in your own way. Only keep what in your own estimation is worth keeping. (Hellcat's Rules Of Satanic Magick)"
Don't get too close. It's Dark inside. It's where my Demons hide!
Hailing Satan isn't a hobby, its a lifestyle. (S@tan)
- Angelus_David
- Posts: 36
- Joined: Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:49 am
- Location: Springfield MO
This is why i avoid my local walmart after 10pm o.oSatan's Hellcat wrote:If it had been Walmart it wouldn't be a joke! XD
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low
Life can be such overdose
Up on the mountain I see down below
It's easy to lose yourself I know in the in between
Life can be such overdose
Up on the mountain I see down below
It's easy to lose yourself I know in the in between