Can't get past this feeling

[JasmineVoyles]

Okay so I am sure this is fairly normal, but for months now (maybe even a little over a year?) I have wanted to start reaching out to specific DL's and Demons but every time I even start to plan how I will, I get anxious and convince myself that I'm just not ready to yet. I don't want to waste any of time of theirs, I don't want to say the wrong thing because my mind has the habit of thinking the opposite of what I want in the most inappropriate of times. Like there's been multiple time's where I've tried connecting with my Spirit companions and I try and talk to them via telepathy and something uncalled for or weird just comes out and then I'm freaking out trying to tell them I didn't mean it, etc. I don't know where these thoughts come from? And I suppose it just makes me worried I will end up saying something I didn't want to say and i'll mess everything up. But I've also read that spirits/entities don't think/react the same way humans do with human emotions so I may be blowing this whole thing out of proportion, however I am still unsure. I want to get past it though I am just not sure how to.. I really want to reach out to Lord Satan and Lord Lucifer but I really, don't, wanna screw up. Does anyone else have this problem or did you used to and found a way to get past it?

[user524]

Hey Jasmine.

What I recommend is taking some time to think about what you want to say to Lord Lucifer and Lord Satan, then write it all down. You can then reach out to them and read what you have written. That way, it leaves little room for anything “uncalled for” or “inappropriate” as you say, to come out, and you can use this method until you feel comfortable enough to not need it anymore.

Personally, I have done this with one of my DCs and it worked well. I believe it will be fine to use with the Dark Lords as well.

[Cerber]

I think they wouldn't call you if they would think you are not ready, they might know you better.

[Amaranth Rose]

Hi Jasmine, I have the exact same problem so you're not alone! My companions and also the DLs know that I say things I don't mean sometimes and I do apologize for any unnecessary rude things. My brain is also conditioned to think both things I want to say and the exact opposite ALL the time. It's really annoying and makes me feel not normal, especially when a thought about say, plants, and I think "Oh I wish I could grow some right now" "Burn them" or something else violent or just inappropriate to my actual feelings comes up ^^;;; you get the idea when it comes to talking to my companions and the DLs. Oh geez.

I try to just gently dismiss them now because berating yourself for them and trying to not think about that certain thing or phrase makes me think about it EVEN MORE!! So I just think, oops sorry about that and I didn't mean it, then think of something that I actually want to say. It's really tough to do at first and something I still have trouble with now ^^;

There's also focusing on your feelings of gratitude and reverence towards the DLs. You can put more focus on that, and they'll really appreciate it! Don't focus on the fear of messing up because then it will be difficult to come out of that stream of "sorry" thoughts. If you try real hard to communicate the feelings you want to, it's okay if you slip up a couple times. As long as you don't actually mean it and do apologize, then it's fine. They've lived much longer lives than all of us so they're understanding of how us humans function xD

Right now, I like focusing on my feelings of gratitude for them, and thinking about what offerings I can give to them in the future! I love thinking about what to make them or buy to put on their altar, and seeing how they react I always imagine them as being happy to receive it because, well, it's an offering from ourselves and we put some time and care into it! Also I like to imagine us having fun chats about everything! Not all interactions have to be very serious in which you worry that you'll gravely mess up. They're our mentors and guides, not beings that will zap us if we stumble on our words xD

I hope this really helps it took me a while to realize these things and I still have stray thoughts but i know now what to think instead to get out of that rut

[Passchendaele]

It sounds like you are stressing out at the thought of stressing out. You have associated reaching out with elevated anxiety. You have, basically, trained yourself to freak out when you reach out to whomever. Why you did this (all of your thoughts are your thoughts, unless you are a true telepath) is not the point here. If you really want to know, of course you can investigate. But first, train yourself to not freak out when you reach out.

When you feel the stress start to build, take deep breaths, sit down or lay down to make yourself comfortable, and put all your concentration on breathing. If that sounds about as exciting as watching re-runs of "The Andy Griffith Show", you're right! Excitement is the thing you want to avoid. It sometimes helps to have a point to focus on, candles are the bee's knees for this exercise.

I have found that it's very useful to have the point I am fixing on be right in the middle of my field of vision. no extra effort is required. ( as opposed to having to look up or down or side-ways) and it doesn't have to be a candle. the point you focus on should be either lighter or darker than the surrounding area, um...the area surrounding the point, not you, in case you were wondering.

The point of that...the point of the point, ha ha... Get it?... The point of the point? Ha ha.....um....anyway...... is that you will have no problem staying...wait for it...on point! I gotta million of e'm. Uh...where was I?.... Damn senior moments. Oh!...Right. If your point of focus is similar to the background, the point will blend in with it, you'll have to work harder to stay (giggle, smirk ) on point.

If you are experiencing anxiety when doing things other than reaching out, particularly when there is no outward cause, or it's happening on a frequent basis, you might wish to consider speaking with your doctor. There are drugs that help with anxiety that are NOT the heavy hitters such as Lorzapam or dilaudid. That is how junkies are made. It's the "nuclear option", when all else has failed. You could ask about propranolol. It's actually a drug for people with high blood pressure. Keep your blood pressure normal, take deep breaths and...the anxiety doesn't feel so overwhelming, YOU can get in front of it and deal with it with a clear mind.

Keeping your mind clear is really key here. And please believe me when I say I have a very hard time focusing. My mind is running at one hundred miles an hour while the rest of me is, like, "What's all the excitement about? Dude....CHILL."

I'm sure this is unnecessary, but I'll say it anyway, Do Not Self Medicate!!!!!!!! Unless you get off on feeling lost, scared and alone. Believe it or not, there are people who have no problem with that. You can feel them when they walk into a room. That s**t spreads like a fungus. As soon as you catch a whiff of them, so to speak, it's "Shields up Mister Sulu!" They have no boundaries and no compunction about invading your space and making themselves at home.

Uh....anyway, I hope you find this useful

[Shifa]

It’s perfectly normal.
Try finding a chant or prayer you like, or create one, that you can memorize, repeat and focus on.
Use their sigil and enn too.
Maybe draw, color, hold a beaded necklace (like a rosary or mala), or listen to a meditative track, something that keeps you calm and focused.
Just breathe, don’t worry about being human, and try to meditate on their symbols, names, enn, prayer, whatever, and ponder the meanings/associations and what they mean to you.
You’ll be connecting by offering your time to research and get to know them.
You’re giving them attention, interest and respect, so there is nothing to fear.
The silly stuff that the human mind does is not a big deal. Laugh it off and realize you’re probably a bit distracted and maybe not used to intense focus/meditation yet.