Satan and Suns

I have been hanging out with Arachne Z today. I asked her for the little signs and manifestations. I could feel her say she was going to manifest a spider. My response was, "Ok."

I was walking around doing stuff. I got some water and sat at our dinner table for a moment. Across the way is our new Christmas tree that is partially decorated. She flashed an image in my mind of the spider ornament Nighthawk got her last year as a gift.



She wanted to hang out and decorate the tree with us today. I told Nighthawk and she said, "Yes, that would be fun."

Thank you Z, that was pretty cool!

It was very early in the morning that I asked this request. I wasn't completely sure if he had heard me, but I forgot about it and went on with my day. Thoughtout the day, I kept getting small and short visions that there is a horned entity sitting on my furniture, in my room, etc at random.

I'm not sure if that counts. I wasn't thinking of him when I kept seeing him.

I have been struggling with connection so though I asked my demons for signs, any kind of signs from them, i wasn’t certain what to expect from this exercise.

So, Something happened; I was already upset and something occurred and I just sat down in the middle of the kitchen floor and held my head. I’m trying to just keep my balance here and not let things escalate. But I’m deeply upsets f trying not to go crazy. I’m supposed to be doing a bonding ritual with a companion but….. I’m sitting here in a bit of overwhelm….

And I hear the words clearly; ‘Stroke Me’.
I didn’t comprehend at first. Also, the feeling sense of hearing was odd.
I’m not certain why it felt so oddly. it was spoken but I heard in a manner I’m not familiar with.

I heard the words a second time:” Stroke Me.”

I felt a presence and lifted my head. My black cat had crossed the room and was circling me trying to climb on my lap. I let him on, and began stroking him.
And immediately felt better.
And I also sensed my Mutilation/Divinity demoness’ presence. I felt her differently….
Differently from what? Different from before - different from what and how I’ve expected things to return to. And here I begin to intuit something bigger, something truer…

I’ve risen up out of a very dark space recently and didn’t recognize myself at my emerging. I’ve been demanding things of myself….of my old self….and she is no longer.

My sense of me, my sense of everything, is changed. My connection to myself, to my world…. It’s been a real struggle - almost until this moment when I heard the words and touched the cat. There was such a child in that moment.
This act, simple, small, as it may be, encompasses everything that I am as that Child. The little one with the sacred cat within and her connection to Life in such a manner that IT reaches in and loved and nurtured me. I am the Child reaching out and I am the Mother reaching In.

And that is the space of Me; a recognition of self from where my healing begins.
Not the old ways or old beliefs of a me born and twisted, shaped at the hands of those that are like leaves in the wind.

I cry out from within. And (like a Child trusting) my World responds.
Stroke Me. My World responds….and I find the Solace that I need.
That is small. And it’s Enormous.
Thank you for reminding me of the small within which is found in the humility and trust of a Child.