The Inner Child

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alikat13
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Let's talk about the inner child. I know that the inner child is something dwelling within us. The inner child holds all our childish qualities and memories from when we were young. Our relationship we have with our inner child depends on how our childhood was and if we were ever able to heal any damaged pieces from the past. The healing process I believe involves shadow work as we have to dig deep inside those places we don't want to recover. Most people don't want to make amends with the past so they leave their inner child behind to be forgotten, but this could cause us more suffering in the future. If one chooses not heal their inner child then it can cause future relationships with others to fall apart. We must all establish a loving relationship with ourselves first.

There are ways you can heal your inner child such as saying I forgive you and I love you. Many times people grow up believing that whatever happened in their childhood was all their faults but that's not true. Most times we blame ourselves for the littlest of things and punish ourselves because we were punished as children when we did something wrong. Healing our inner child is the first step that must come the second is embracing our inner child.

We can embrace our inner child in multiple ways, engaging in fun activities such as singing, drawing, dancing, swimming, playing board games, playing video games... really anything that makes ourselves feel young and happy again. I for one still watch Disney movies everyday and cartoons, I also sing as much as I can, I love to play pranks on others, I still love to dress up and play board games. You know this Halloween I was even thinking about going trick or treating again :lol:

I myself didn't have the best childhood so I neglected my inner child when I still was a child at times I felt I needed to take up responsibilities that prevented me from being a kid. I dropped out of high school to take care of family issues I never did go out with friends...I rarely had any, I never been to a party, I never fell in love, I didn't have supportive parents... Though I missed out on a lot of things as a child I can't deny the fact that I do have some happy memories of when I smiled and laughed. Exactly three weeks from now when I turn 20 and leave the last of my teenage years behind forever I won't look back with remorse or regret because I have made amends with my inner child, I appreciate how strong she was to stand in the darkness all those years by herself....I am grateful she never gave up hope. Though I'm soon to be an adult forever my inner child shall radiate through me always :devillove:



Please be free to share your own inner child as well ~
"Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic" - Frida Kahlo

"You're mad. Bonkers, Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret all the best people are" Alice In Wonderland
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laalbieglna
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this is beautiful, alikat. thank you for sharing it. in the reclaiming tradition the inner child is younger self and your outer self is talking self. i've personally found some of their work around these selves very helpful.
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Passchendaele
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There are not words to express how timely this topic is for me. What you have written is what I am now preparing to do. With a trained therapist as a guide. I always blamed myself for the things I could remember, which turned out, not surprisingly, to be the least of it. I blamed myself because those around me blamed me and I believed them. Why shouldn't I? I was a kid and they were the "grown-ups" Teachers, parents, older siblings....I believed every nasty lie they told about me.

Being the kind of person I am, I didn't lash out when I got older, as some do. I turned it all inward. By the time I was a teen, I hated myself. That didn't change anytime soon. My ability to keep a lid on it started to to slip with the advent of my second Saturn return last December. I realize now that what happened to me as a child was evil. It was evil because it was deliberate, and it was done by the two people a child has to trust the most. Mom and dad.

They had some help along the way. The Catholic Church was VERY obliging in that department. Anything they overlooked was taken care of by my older brothers "posse" Neighborhood kids I could not get away from. Good times.

He's still there, the kid all this shit happened to. Turning my back was never seriously considered. It would be the ultimate betrayal, which is not to say I'm looking forward to it. It's all a process. I need to "square this away" so I can move forward. Burying it again is no longer possible. I no longer have the coping mechanisms to do that. Burying it again means not growing.
I will NOT trade growth for the emotional "safety" of living a lie. I have come too far for that.

I had a reader and my therapist tell me that they admired my courage in being willing to face this. I don't see that. I'm not "hero" material. I simply refuse to be afraid of my shadow. It's not bravery, I'm just sick and tired of being afraid all the time. Fear stunts growth, fear HAS TO GO. And I am so looking forward to working with beings (and people) who know exactly where I'm coming from with this. Beings (and people) who will work to empower me, not point out new shit I need to be afraid of.
"Push something hard enough...and it will fall over."
Fudds First Law Of Opposition

“All art that is not mere storytelling or mere portraiture is symbolic...If you liberate a person or a landscape from the bonds of motives and their actions, causes and their effects...it will change under your eyes, and become a symbol of infinite emotion, a perfected emotion, a part of the Dark Divine Essence.”

William Butler Yeats

(The italicized word “dark” is my addition.)
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simara
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Beautiful topic. I have been doing a lot of inner child work and reading this helped me to understand some of the things that have been coming up. I have things I have to face and things to heal. It's part of this path and taking responsibility. I nodded about leaving the teenage years behind and never looking back. I believe the old saying "youth is wasted on the young."
Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon, no matter how good you are at chess the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, crap on the board, and strut around like it is victorious.

You think I'm just a doll. A doll that's pink and light. A doll you can arrange any way you like. You're wrong. Very wrong. What you think of me is only a ghost of time. I am dangerous. And I will show you just how dark I can be.
Harley Quinn

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alikat13
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Passchendaele wrote:There are not words to express how timely this topic is for me. What you have written is what I am now preparing to do. With a trained therapist as a guide. I always blamed myself for the things I could remember, which turned out, not surprisingly, to be the least of it. I blamed myself because those around me blamed me and I believed them. Why shouldn't I? I was a kid and they were the "grown-ups" Teachers, parents, older siblings....I believed every nasty lie they told about me.

Being the kind of person I am, I didn't lash out when I got older, as some do. I turned it all inward. By the time I was a teen, I hated myself. That didn't change anytime soon. My ability to keep a lid on it started to to slip with the advent of my second Saturn return last December. I realize now that what happened to me as a child was evil. It was evil because it was deliberate, and it was done by the two people a child has to trust the most. Mom and dad.

They had some help along the way. The Catholic Church was VERY obliging in that department. Anything they overlooked was taken care of by my older brothers "posse" Neighborhood kids I could not get away from. Good times.

He's still there, the kid all this shit happened to. Turning my back was never seriously considered. It would be the ultimate betrayal, which is not to say I'm looking forward to it. It's all a process. I need to "square this away" so I can move forward. Burying it again is no longer possible. I no longer have the coping mechanisms to do that. Burying it again means not growing.
I will NOT trade growth for the emotional "safety" of living a lie. I have come too far for that.

I had a reader and my therapist tell me that they admired my courage in being willing to face this. I don't see that. I'm not "hero" material. I simply refuse to be afraid of my shadow. It's not bravery, I'm just sick and tired of being afraid all the time. Fear stunts growth, fear HAS TO GO. And I am so looking forward to working with beings (and people) who know exactly where I'm coming from with this. Beings (and people) who will work to empower me, not point out new shit I need to be afraid of.
Passchendaele think you for sharing your story, it really touched me. I have gone through a similar process I believe a lot of us had when dealing with the inner child aspect of ourselves. I think you're brave because not everyone is willing to forgive their inner child or embrace it. To be able to face your own shadow and demons is a strong quality to have, many people will fear cower away from that but you choose to face it full on. I'm glad you're finding those who are empowering you :devillove:
"Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic" - Frida Kahlo

"You're mad. Bonkers, Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret all the best people are" Alice In Wonderland
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alikat13
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simara wrote:Beautiful topic. I have been doing a lot of inner child work and reading this helped me to understand some of the things that have been coming up. I have things I have to face and things to heal. It's part of this path and taking responsibility. I nodded about leaving the teenage years behind and never looking back. I believe the old saying "youth is wasted on the young."
I'm happy you liked it and I also have things I'm healing from the past, it's not easy but it is worth it. I am proud of myself for being able to let my teenage years go... my teenage years may have been wasted but my life at the moment doesn't have to be thinking back on all those years I lost I know I'll just end up wasting more of those reflecting on the past.
"Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic" - Frida Kahlo

"You're mad. Bonkers, Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret all the best people are" Alice In Wonderland
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Nefer
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Those are some powerful words Ali. I especially love " We must all establish a loving relationship with ourselves first" This is so true. Thank you for the share.


I think I need to come to you for some lessons on shadow work. I might can learn a thing or two or a few ^^
The power of the universe lies within. "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" ~Roald Dahl
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User3246
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I thought this was a great post! I grew up trying to keep my younger sisters from being abused, or my Dad from driving off the road drunk. it is really my first memory of him...being asked to grab the steering wheel when he would drive off the road drunk. I don't think I ever got to BE a child until I was a adult and moved out. I always got away in nature and by being alone. Sometimes I still do. I am 55 now, and I love to play!
“If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

"The Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried."

Do not rely on ANYTHING, unexamined. If It does not seem to fit, ask about it. If it ultimately degrades or dishonors or holds you back, it is bad for you, so remove it from your life. If it takes from you and never gives back, it is a leech. Discard it. In magick rely only on your own work: What you have seen and done and used for your own self and in your own way. Only keep what in your own estimation is worth keeping. (Hellcat's Rules Of Satanic Magick)"

Don't get too close. It's Dark inside. It's where my Demons hide!

Hailing Satan isn't a hobby, its a lifestyle. (S@tan)
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ophidia
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I'm so grateful to have seen this thread. Thank you.

I visited my abandoned inner child after seeing it, and boy, she isn't doing well. She looks like the ghost lady from The Ring but with empty eye sockets, and she's very, very, very upset with me. Healing seems like a daunting task. It's tempting to ignore the issue, but I've ran away from her throughout my life. It's time for me to stop running! :(


Gaze upon the cruel smile of the Crawling Chaos
Hear the maddening whispers surrounding you
Feel the pleasant sting of those sharp nails
And draw closer like a moth to a flame...
Saber
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Inner Child work is frightening and necessary.

My emotional issues have been a great mess of ignoring the inner child and covering it up with other external things like relationships.

I like alikat's ideas of playing games and doing things that make you feel young again. I rarely played games. My defense mechanisms were terrible, but felt necessary at the time. Staying in my room alone for hours at a time and extreme negative self-talk and self loathing. Needless to say my inner child comes out angry and scared when she feels left alone or abandoned.

As children, we strive to protect our relationship to our parents to ensure survival. So it is easier to punish ourselves than say they are wrong. They are the gods in our lives that give us sustenance or whatever else we're seeking. Even if we don't get it we always seem to emotionally go after it. Then we grow up and realize, hey I didn't get all these things as a kid I needed to be healthy or survive and now I have to parent myself. Now I have to face down all these negative thoughts and thank each one for their protection when it was needed and then send it on its way as it is no longer useful to me now.
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