Sombre Carnivàle Démoniaque June 12th ~ Meditation 4

You are invited to take part in an incredible event. Come witness the magic and the mystery of the Sombre Carnivàle Démoniaque. This is a special Satan and Sons/Suns event that only takes place once a year! From June 6th - June 16th!! We invite you to claim your ticket and join us on a whimsical journey of creepy delights and celebrations!
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Blu
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Akelta I hope you don`t mind, I downloaded the 4 meditation videos as MP3 files and puted on my MP3 Player.
You have such a soothing and relaxing voice. :devillove:
"Loyalty is more important to me than money"Franz Sanchez from the James Bond movie Licence to Kill
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Wow this meditation was intense. I saw the fun house and vaguely remembered coming here before this meditation was out, I was in the room with the mirrors and a reflection of someone tried to jumped or merged with me. Lol. So in a way, coming back feels familiar. The darkness, the lights. A little eerie and yet there is this excitement and intrigue attached to this house. I came with a couple of my companions on this journey.

We ventured in and at first the floor feels solid underneath me and my hands felt velvety walls, soft and luxurious to touch.... until the slime! Lol I squealed and went ughhh. The companions I brought along with me, I can feel them amused by my jumpiness. ‘Really, does it have to be slimes?!” I complained. And then the liquids started dripping from the ceiling and I was thinking out loud if by any chance the liquid may be whiskey or rum dripping on me. That elicited snorts from my companions and I think my demon companion muttered “u wish”. LOL :eyerolldevil:

Then we came to the limbs and the contortions which truth to be told is a little hard for my stomach to digest. I was squirming my entire way through that part. I just do not have a liking for blood and gore and flesh and limbs lol. I vaguely remembering poking one of the hands sticking out and backing away before the hand snapped shut in fist like grip. I shuddered. I wished this section will be over soon. The performance by the aerialist/ cortotionist was captivating but honestly contortionist performances aren’t much my cup of tea. I think she felt my lukewarm response. A grin and a message something along the lines to loosen up and explore about the things that make myself uncomfortable. It is fine. They are parts of myself to release and explore. I should try not to run at the first things that make me squirm. Sometimes such explorations are mind-opening and good for growth.

And then I saw the doctor with the little flesh creatures. And I was honestly a little yucked out and fascinated at the same time. I saw my little flesh creature, a little brain running around. Kind of like my own “brain” child, a reminder of the wisdom and intelligence I have and to explore and utilise those parts of myself more in creation and exploration. I was thinking of handling it to my companions at first and or wishing that I had a bag to “stuff” it away. Lol. But it crawled up my arm and perched nicely onto my shoulder nesting there contented.

Next, I ventured past the clown faces. Met the jester who gave me an orange daisy with the word for me to explore. I understand what it is I have to look at through the word shown to me. Then I ventured onto the 3 aspects of myself. They were shaman, warrior and child. Different aspects of myself to do with magic/creation, my fighting spirit and my innocence each with a message before they integrated back into me as one. And lastly, the gorgeous solar dance which I can fully get onboard with!

And with that I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed my walk. Although there were bits and pieces of the walk that honestly made my skin crawled a little, I still enjoyed myself. A little smug that I bravely ventured past even the parts that would have normally repelled me and made me run cursing in the other direction. I think I came out a little braver through this experience after all. And my companion sniggered and asked “so does that mean u wouldn’t mind exploring more gore and limbs and blood next time”. I snorted “nope” just because they do not make my blood curdle like it used to does not mean I want to. Lol :devil:P
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This might not be in the right order and is not real poetic. Lol. I am not so good at relaxing and so seeing things vividly is really hard. I usually see parts or beginnings of things, or like when I had the three parts I kinda used my imagination some and then could hear whispers but not really words. I can see things happening when they are described, but not when directed at me. Anyway, here is a brief description of what I saw:

I was flooded with feelings of power during the contortionists performance. I sat with my desire for audience adulation. This felt wonderful. The word I saw was strong. The flower was a daisy. And the card was a tarot card with a gold staff on it.

The flesh creature I got was like a stomach with fingers for legs and two eyeballs. He was adorable and I would love to have him as a stuffed animal. I was drawn to another one as well. During these I seem to be drawn to two things instead of one. The other one was the first I had my eye on. He was a little fuzzy ball with eyes and flesh fingers for legs. However the corner of my eye picked up the stomach creature and I took him with me.

The three sides of me were a little innocent child , a shadow dark child, and a creative child. I couldn’t hear the innocent or the creative child. But the shadow dark child said that I already know the path and to keep on it.

The solar dancer was gorgeous and middle eastern in my eyes. She was bellydancing and pole dancing at the same time. Super beautiful! The solar energy produced a tingling around my skin. And when I left I took the flesh creature home with me. And it felt absolutely wonderful to have this creature with me and a part of me.
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When I read about this meditation and that it would help reveal what needs to be released, I thought that it would be just what I needed to be able to complete the writing exercise. But it turned out that I needed to repeat this meditation three times to be able to even post my experience of it. Because the same block that is impeding me with the writing exercise showed up in this meditation.

I was okay through the first part of the funhouse. Though, the experience became richer with each repetition.

The second part of the funhouse was a bit more challenging. I had trouble at first with imagining /visualizing the movements of the flesh creatures. Each time my flesh creature was different and I felt it best to leave them with the Carnivale.

The third part of the funhouse was the second-most difficult part for me. I could not see a word until the flower during the most recent visit. Finally I had a word and it was the meaning I was looking for, why I could not complete the writing exercise.

The same reason the mirror room was the most difficult part of the funhouse for me. Until this last time through, I could not hear a message from any part of me. This time, I was able to understand each part of me and hear what they had appeared to me to say. This gives me hope that I may be close to being able to do the writing exercise.

The last room of the funhouse was the most enjoyable for me, because it felt the most familiar. The imagery and energy was so empowering and uplifting. A beautiful way to exit the funhouse!
This is why the Mantis Shrimp is my new favorite animal,
because in the presence of such extraordinary light and beauty it embraces

DARKNESS,
It extols DEATH with the luminescent brilliance of a
DYING STAR

. . . The Mantis Shrimp is the harbinger of blood-soaked rainbows


- The Oatmeal
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Kore Serpens
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It was night and not a soul in sight. I was absolutely alone. The wind is blowing and there are leaves, dead leaves and orange/red colored, scattered about.
In front of me are a great set of ornate iron gates, closed. I push them and they swing open. I don't see the moon but the area is lit as if by moonlight.
I'm all alone though as i stand there I feel energy, like ghosts,. I'm puzzled by how the Carnival feels and why am I alone? he longer I wait, and watch, I realize that the Carnival is going on but I'm in another dimension ....
it's like .... and I suddenly realize,with a shiver, it's like I'm dead. All the meditations have had this same feeling only now I realize why that is. I'm not walking with the dead; I am dead - but not dead.
And I have the realization that I've gone back, or down, very very deep, to reclaim a part of mySelf that is dead. And I'm in that same dead space in order to find her.
That's why I keep having the experience of seeing the Carnival as through a veil.

There are tents, rides, the sense of forms, people, all around. I walk through the first tent. I'm not afraid at what I see or feel. I study the face I see and the bits of flesh and I stand there for awhile trying
to understand what I'm feeling. At first I thought it was a kind of numbness ... but it's more like everything is really familiar and I'm just not reacting to it.
I see the Contortionist. I love her dancing and the music! I loved her dancing so much! I watch her closely and she stares back at me. She does things, twists turns climbs the walls and intermingles
with the flesh on the wall. She moves slowly; half cat, half spider. Our eyes never leave each other. Then she stops dancing and watches me; I begin to dance. I reveal who I am with my odd dance.
It is jerky, non-human, and I feel her approval. It's like we're talking to each other through movement.

The room of flesh freaks was fun. I wonder about my own impulses to create and I would love to play here them. Before I leave I see my own creature. I know immediately. It looks like a lump
with a large round mouth full of teeth on its face. There are eyes but it doesn't need to use them or if it does it isn't for seeing. It has a mouthful of razor sharp teeth and its body shape
alternates between solid to multiple hands/legs/limbs. It climbs to my shoulders and wraps itself around my neck. It is squid shaped now. It likes to bite; that's what it does.

The word on my heart that the Clown revealed , was fear. The card was a Joker and the word written on it was, twisted.
The three sides of me; the first one told me not to avoid yourSelf, nor fear It.
The 2nd was was white faced and sharp toothed and her message was: I kill everything. I kill everybody. and I kill you if you are untrue to me/yourSelf.
The 3rd looked like a steak - a huge piece of meat. It was alive, living, but formless.
And It's message was: I am not anything. I am everything. I am your-Self. I am not real. I am real. I am not listening. I hear everything. I am Everything. I am Nothing. I am Your Potential.

I walked away from the 3 aspects of myself, esp. the 3rd and was in a dream space. It was so intense after this point that everything got a bit smudged together.
I remember the mirrors, and seeing different aspects of myself in them. I stood there watching but can't recall what I witnessed. I believe i was seeing my 3 selves in them.

The Solar Dancer was an odd feeling. I watched and felt her light but the feeling of returning or sinking down washed over me and she felt more distant.
And then its over. I love my flesh creature and our attachment is physical - its like he's grown into me and we leave together.
"Good morning. ( level stare) I see the assassins have failed….”

”In the end it doesn't matter who or what you are - only that you've been embraced by all that you've become ... "
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So, my experience won't be very long but it's been consistentx that's for sure.

Most recent experience.

Okay Imagination, you have full control! Lol, probably didn't need to announce that to myself but, I did anyways Lol

Music and meditation starts....

These black tentacle like things come up from the ground and wrap me like a mummy from the mouth down.

The walls, Windows, and everything that is my house get thrown away as if a bomb just just went off inside the house.

I am now on a dirt floor, looking up at a pitch black sky wrapped like a cocoon and it is DARK all around.

Akelta cuts in with the three count breath.

First breath...

Second brearh...

*consciousness starts to flutter

Third breath

*struggle to keep from blacking out...again

10 second count down
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2

* The carnivalesque Is now dancing...everything between that last second and her beginning her performance is completely gone...Theres no dreams, no thoughts, there is nothing, even if the time is only short. I have no clue what happens, after I start walking down the hallway--i got that far on a previous attempt. This, was my 6th :lol:
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Solis
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What an amazing meditation this has to be my favorite thus far!
So many sights and feelings
Danced with both ladies whom are amazing dancers
So much fun, feelings and excitement ahhhhhh
Mixed with a dash of cuteness
My flesh monster is puppy like :devillust:
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Akelta
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I love reading everyones meditations and experiences. Honestly this has been so much fun and I am so happy with how the meditations have been received. This one was one of my favourite to do and though ok it was a little darker then your average guided meditation, I think it was fittingly demonic ^_^ When we do future events there will be lots of guided meditations. hehe. Ok here is my experience....


I mused again about how odd it was I was being guided by my own voice, though I am getting uses to it. LOL.  This mediation was a lot of fun to create, and it was a lot of fun to participate in.  As it started I already was at the Carnival gate.  I was excited.  I always get excited here.  

During the chat party on June 14th a question was asked about how I discovered this place.  I wanted to touch on that a bit before I went into the details of my meditation.  I have been visiting the demonic realms since I was a child. There are a lot of layers and elements to the realms and a lot of discoveries that I have, which are only written about in my book.   There are a lot of things I have kept to myself, mostly for fear of ridicule.  There is such a serious tone that is taken when working with demons.  You see it all the time, most people want to learn about curses and how to get rich and how to get things.  I just wanted to learn about them. I wanted to explore their world and understand them.  I wanted to embrace and understand the sides that most people don’t.  It is what has led me on this journey and why I have so much knowledge of them.  When I worked normal jobs in my spare time I devoted myself to demons. Now that I can work with demons full time, it is what I do.  

I know how to work with them in the areas people want, the finances, the curses, the abundance, the psychic development.  But I also work with them from this level.  I travel to their worlds and I make connections.  I have been mocked and ridiculed for it, I have been told it is stupid, unbelievable and idiotic.  I have also been accused of being lost in fantasy.  While I live quite well in this world, I also function incredibly well and have a very grounded approach to spirituality, I just choose to embrace elements that many would find silly because it is enjoyable and it is a piece of my heart.  It is a part of my balance and it is a part of not just my journey here, but who I am.  I guess in a way it is just what I have always been.    

As such, I have made a lot of friends out there.  I have made a lot of connections.  The demons we will meet in these events are friends of mine.  I have met them on my travels and worked with them These events are actually a way to share more of the knowledge and I think a way to really bring the community together.  These elements of spirituality and working with demons, they are fun.  There are so many layers to it and so many different approaches we can take.  The truth is we are in this physical world, but we are called to the spirit because our souls yearn for something so much more.  They yearn for pieces of what we call home.

I walked during the dark hours of the night when the attendance was few.  I love the energies of the night and how they seem to wrap you in a sacred blanket.  How they caress and hold you.  The night has always been safe for me.  It is a time when I am true to myself, when my masks comes off and I am just free.  H was with me that evening.  A Demon who our connection is so sacred I don’t even know how to begin describing it.  We walked together and I smiled knowing where I was headed to.  

I love the funhouse.  It looks creepy, it looks like it is going to swallow me whole.  There is such a foreboding aura to it and the closer I got, the more excited I became.  

Madator greeted me at the entrance to the Fun house.  “Having a good time?”  He grinned

“Oh, you know I am.”  I replied cheekily.  

He grinned and tipped his hat at H as he revealed the entrance to the funhouse for me.  I smiled at him then entered alone.  The darkness swallowed me and I was taken by the essence, my being was taken by the darkness.  I stumbled through the dark.  Following my own voice.

I felt the wall and moved forward against it.  I laughed when I got to the slimy texture, wall goo…hehe. I kept moving forward.  I love looking at the faces on the wall.  I took a bit of time to look at them and observe them.  One that stood out to me looked like a woman screaming, she wanted to be released.  That called to me.  There was a part of me that wanted to be released too, that has been screaming to be released for ages. Screams that only the demons have heard, screams that I only recently let them in to comfort and console.  I took a moment to gaze at it before moving forward.  

Ehsotay’s Dance was incredible.  She was moving and bending and just how fluid her movements were and how she moved and twisted her body.  She had an air hoop and was using that in her routine to glide through the air.  She bent her body and moved up the wall almost as if gravity held no sway over her.  It was beautiful watching her.   I was entranced with her and I just smiled.  It was a deep smile from the depth of my soul, a smile that I had not felt in a long time.  I just felt happiness and I was completely present watching her and just being there.  I felt myself surrounded by the energies and I remembered my own childhood, I joined her in her aerial routine.  I was a gymnast in my youth and bending and tumbling always relaxed me.  I found myself bending and twisting and doing aerial acrobatics with her.  I just let myself go and embraced the part of myself that had been neglected. Together we bend and fold through the dimensions and the folds of space and time.   

Then there was darkness… I continued walking forward, it was quite a journey already. I felt excited and happy I skipped down the passageway and really was not paying attention to what was on the wall.  I wanted to see Dr. Sechah and M'phera, I was excited about my flesh creature.  My flesh creature was a small odd looking thing that had 13 tentacles in a circle around his body which allowed him to move and wander. He had a single eye that was attached to large optical tentacle that allowed him to peer around and observe the world.  I took my flesh creature and put him on my shoulder.  He was so cute.  I talked with Dr. Sechah for a time before continuing.  I find I always feel inspired and creative after my discussions with them.   

My Flesh creature sat on my shoulder and I continued down the hallway.  I ran towards the lights.  I love visiting Siioow, I have known him for a very long time and his knowledge and what he represents of the world always gets me pondering.  I love how he twists things and how talented he is with his words and how he always gets me thinking.  His views and thoughts, he always challenges what is thought to be true, always questions, always explores.  When I arrived in his room I smiled at him.  He walked over to me and showed me my heart.  The word on it was Faith, it hit me really hard.  I felt myself surrender to the energies and where I was.  I knew what was coming.  He pulled the card, it was the High Priestess and the word at the top was Akelta.  The Flower has written on the petals ‘Family’ and the flower was a half black and half pink rose.  There were sparkles on it and he handed it to me.  I took it and held it carefully smiling.   

I held the flower and continued down the hall with my flesh creature purring on my shoulder.  The mirror room was interesting, my sides were all talking to me.  My inner child screamed, “REMEMBER ME”, my dark side screamed, “let me out,” my sides all screamed. They all were talking to me and saying things to me.  My higher self in one, she looked at me and said “reach for me”

I was surrounded by the mirrors and they were getting louder and louder and closer and closer.  I covered my ears and tried to bury my head.  Then they seemed to engulf me and silence.  I looked up and Dr. Panacktro was standing over me.  He waved his hand and a kitten was suddenly in my hand.  

I was split into three…

The first was my inner child.  We stared at each other and I broke down sobbing.  I broke down and before us was my heart.  It was broken and laying in shards and pieces.  I remembered when it was like that.  I remember what did that to her.  I grabbed the pieces and tried to scatter them and bring them back together.  She looked at me.  “ you can’t have them yet. He has them, just like he has me, and when you are ready you will have them all back.”  She melted and vanished.  I have to admit at this moment I felt a little empty and distraught.  

I turned to my second side…it was me, a broken form of me. I was laying there on the floor broken and cold. I looked at myself and thought that I was dying.  There was a knife in my back.  I felt disconnected from this side.  No this was not right, I had healed this. Why was she still here?  “What do you fear?”  She gasped to me.  I realized it was a sliver of fear I was holding onto.  That sliver of fear was holding me back and stopping where I needed to go.  I started shaking and I knew I had to let it all go.  I had to release this.  I took the knife out of her back and she crumbled to dust.  I held the dagger in my hand and it melted into me.  

My third side was my higher self.  She was strong, proud and powerful.  I smiled at her.   I went to reach for her and I hit a block, I was isolated from her.  I suddenly understood, I understood what was going on here.  I realized that I was separated from her and it was what held me here.  I knew in that moment what I had to do.  I wrote faith on the block between us and it shattered like glass.   Her violet eyes gazed back at me and she smiled as she melted into me.  We were united and together I suddenly felt my crown chakra open and energy poured into me.  My chakras aligned and I felt vibrant and alive.  I was truly whole.  I smiled as I knew the power that was awakening in me and that would continue to awaken.  

My appearance changed, my outfit changed, I was me again.  I walked towards the sun and danced. I danced with her, and together we danced in the sun.  I felt so alive and free.  The energies of the sun infused in me and Zenithyaah smiled at me and we laughed together dancing in the sun.  I looked before me and the Desert was all around me and I realized the desert was where I had started my journey and it is where I always find myself returning to.  Zenithyaah stopped and we looked at each other.  “Its nourishing isn’t it? The healing power of this place, there is mystery and mysticism here, there is power here.  You for a time forgot the power within yourself and you forgot your faith.”

I took a deep breath in and savoured the energies that were around me.  She was right but yet it never forgot me.  “And we never forgot you. Oh spirits, entities and demons may be forgotten for a time by the living, but we are always here, and when you are ready to return to us we are here.  You walked through the desert.  The journey through the desert, through the abyss, it will only strengthen your power here.  You claimed your soul here and kept it through the time when most forget it.  It will grow stronger and you will grow stronger the more you reach for it, and the more you return here.”  

I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes.  When I opened them again there was darkness.  I was at the end.  I walked forward and exited the funhouse.  H was waiting for me and I hugged him.  I hugged him tightly and I never wanted to ever let him go.  “Did you have fun?” He smiled.

“I did, let’s go get some pancakes.”  

He grabbed my hand and together we walked, we were both smiling and both ready for a new chapter.
Lover of Demons
Royal Demon Goddess
Darling of Sublime Romance
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Alright, this journey was wonderful. I don't remember everything as clearly as I'd like, and some details I will keep private, but I had a great time!

The Fun House itself looked fairly nondescript from the outside, single-story and more tent-like than building-like. Grinned right through the entry hall and the gallery of the damned--the slime in the dark was a nice touch!

The contortionist's dance was extremely beautiful, though I don't remember it being remarkable in a superhuman kind of way.

The gory hallway didn't have very much viscera for me--rather, it looked like it was made of streaky bacon and cuts of raw meat.

I wish I'd taken a better look around the surgeon's lab, but I was mostly trying to make sense of the creatures. I actually didn't see that many finished creations--most of the distinct points of interest were just shapeless, unmoving piles of flesh and offal. I did a double take over my OWN flesh creature, however: he looks like something between an uncooked chicken and a human stomach on needly spider legs of blade-like bone, with a skinless humanoid head in front atop a long, skinless neck with prominent vertebrae.

The clown offered me my heart with the word "LOVE" distinctly scorched onto the surface. The same on the flower (a daisy). I remember the card only poorly--it was the Magician, I think.

My encounter with the illusionist was deeply illuminating and restorative. I will not discuss it, as it concerned deeply private matters.

My encounter with the solar dancer was awesome. I wish I could remember more distinctly what we did, exactly, but I do remember a sense of weightlesness--as if we were dancing through space. I came out the other side feeling invigorated.

I decided to keep my flesh creature. Indeed, I plan to bind him properly when I have the skill for that.
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I m not sharing the whole experience. but I m going to share the three sides of mine which I feel really connected with me.
The first one is MOTHER. I looks like I m dressing a white dress...pajamas...? I glow in white light but more ghostly. "She" told me to be a mother, caring the others nourish me.
The second one was a Butler...but more a "killer" type...He told me...Just handling your business, you are suffering, but thats not your fault or others. It is ok to just fuck it. No need to be a saint.
The third one is ....."Crafter"....dress in brown..old cloths.....he told me....Crafting is Life. Go Craft your own.

The word I received is "Tour". I m not really understands what it means...yet. but I m going to find out...
O lunae lumen
puer tuus fac me sicut renascentur
me duce tenebris sunt
i ita erit renatus
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