Godspousery: The Mystery of the Hieros Gamos

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It certainly is good advice, the issue begins however when there is next to nothing on them. I have to learn it all as I go especially about their culture. I may try looking at the elemental associations that may help thank you lokebrenna
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Oflight Lokebrenna wrote:
Sat Dec 22, 2018 6:22 pm
For anyone who is a Godspouse or looking into it, I would highly recommend you READ THE MYTHS.

I mean, that should go without saying? But I've been surprised to see claimed Godspouses who had never read any full material concerning their Spouse. WTF?

So, read the myths. Read different versions of the myths. Research the myths. Research the culture, the history, the traditions of the people who wrote and lived by the myths.

Also, learn the lingo of the time period the myths were written. This can reveal so much that you can easily miss. Metaphors and phrases change over time, and a phrase could have had a totally different meaning back then versus today. There are also phrases which the meanings haven't changed, but they aren't used anymore so the meaning is simply forgotten. Seriously, there are hidden gems of knowledge hidden inside of metaphors in the myths.

Don't just read, though, EVALUATE. When you read the myths, you have to piece it together to find the full picture on the puzzle. The myths tell you of events, experiences of the Gods. These events are what shaped and made the deity who they are. Understanding what made them how they are will help you to understand and connect with them on a deeper level.

Also, if applicable, look into the nature elements forming the deity. Deities, being honored by humans, have of course developed to have very human personas, but don't forget they are also forces of nature.

I've also been looking over the myths concerning the conception and birth of my Husband and evaluating it. By evaluating the nature aspect of it, I've formed a theory concerning Him that I am working to piece together. The origin story can reveal A LOT about a deity if you're willing to research and analyze it.

Of course, analyzing and evaluating the myths will make whatever conclusions you come to be UPG - Unpublished Personal Gnosis.

Seriously, read the myths.
Agreed. I’m a book-nerd pagan, or whatever the term is, and much prefer solid archaeological and historical scholarly info to start with. There’s a lot about Loki that comes from Wagner, and Marvel, so people need to go back to the source. Then start coming forward through lingering Scandinavian folklore. Your name, Lokebrenna, was a later add to his mythos for instance.
Oh and don’t forget the kennings of the old language, the metaphors they used in their speech and storytelling. And the alternate names, like Loptr.
The internet and pagan books are full of UPG, and people assume it’s all true.
Then there are the godwives that just make up shit to sound special, and you end up with blogs and Tumblrs of all the sex he’s apparently giving out ... *rolls eyes*
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This is a huge responsibility, but the greatest honor as well, and not to be entered into hastily. I have always felt these relationships are between 2 individuals should not involve paying someone for such service. It is the interchange of trust and loyalty that should hold 2 beings together. And yes, love, but in a much deeper sense than what many believe they can.even perceive.[/alignright]
Nyctophilia Raven wrote:
Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:55 am
About marriages to non-divine spirits and/or entities (answering a question on the original thread) -

I would say that, again, two factors should be of primary concern -

1) The issue of consent. Both parties must wish to consent to the marriage. If a spirit or entity tells you they're your mate, and begins to act in this way without your consent, well, I've seen that cause a lot of trouble - misunderstanding being the least of the concerns. If you decide they are your mate, and begin to act in this way without their consent, that causes its own problems. So... consent is vital - and consent is predicated on an ability to truly exchange ideas through accurate communication.

2) Any marriage is a contractual pact with another or multiple others. Whether you are marrying a spirit, an entity, or an immortal, clarification of the expectations for both parties within the marriage is vital to a happy relationship. Among the points that must be addressed - How long will the marriage last, what is the marriage for (what does each party expect to receive from it), what behaviors are acceptable for each party (specifically, are they permitted relationships, sexual or otherwise, outside the marriage; are they allowed to work with other spirits, entities, and immortals; are their specific times for contact required, or specific behaviors required during periods of contact such as offerings, dress, specific methods of contact, etc.; and what are the consequences should you fail in your vows to this being?

As with all marriage, the alchemical concept of a union of two into one must be considered here. If you are wishing to marry a spirit or entity, or if you are already married to one, consider the alchemical nature of your relationship with them. How much blending, merging, sharing of your life are you actually participating in? Are you treating your marriage to your spirit or entity with the proper gravity, or is it just a fling for you?

I see a lot of people in the Keeper community who at first flush are so excited by the idea of spirits that their behavior is almost like that of... I dunno, starstruck fans? They tend to get a bit hysterical, they get emotionally high on the idea. Some of them approach their spirits (most of which are not considered sexual with humans and are probably quite shocked at our willingness to... *ahem* anything that will stand still long enough) as a personal harem.

There is this idea that marriage and love are equal, that love and lust are equal, that loneliness and other material world problems can be solved by either spiritual marriage, or at least lust with spirits. I have not found this to be so.

My personal experiences, and my observations of others over the years, has lead me to believe one thing. Spirits and entities can expand your knowledge of yourself. They can help you grow as a person, which allows you to better solve your earthly problems. There are times when they can serendipitously manipulate circumstances in small ways, but above all, you are the one driving the bus.

A marriage to a spirit or entity can help you deepen your understanding of the metaphysical world and your place in it, and can help you deepen your relationship with yourself. It is an alchemy, a sharing. When you are blending with another being, you are growing, you are changing.

I have experienced temporary marriages to two entities - one a Tuatha de Danann, and one an Incubus. Both marriages had interesting side effects on my energy, because they were true blendings. Both were also instrumental in my spiritual growth as a person, and as a magician. The relationship with the Incubus actually pushed me into my own alchemical journey out of negredo, through the five elemental realms and a merging with each element, into an eventual confrontation with both my shadow and my superego and a coagulation of all these disparate elements of my psyche. Without that Incubus, the journey might never have started, and if it did, would have taken a much greater period of my life and energy.

The marriage to the Tuatha de Danann, unfortunately, came at a time when I was truly not ready, and it was dissolved fairly quickly, because I did not have time to devote to the marriage, or to our spiritual experience together. It is one of my greater regrets on this journey.

-Raven
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Oflight Lokebrenna wrote:
Sat Dec 08, 2018 10:14 pm
I already clicked the “thank button “ but I have to thank you in my own words for this post! I am a spouse as well... I was going to post some comments of my own, but after reading what you have to say I see it isn’t necessary. You’ve basically said everything I would have! How you share and feel through each other, how you’ve learned to love and accept yourself, the mark... how it is indeed the most powerful, intense love one can ever obtain. Even the names for each other. My commitment is for life. I offered to help educate people and give knowledge to those who are receptive, and he has given me security. Never will I worry again about past hardships because I know he’s always gonna look out for me. For the first time in my life I feel secure and understood, even when we don’t see eye to eye. I just call him my King and he affectionately calls me the spoiled princess...lol!
Sooooooo ah where to start!

Um, well...

I've been a Spouse for 6 years now, and I was offered Priest and accepted. In my own relationship, the responsibility of Spouse is greater than Priest.

He's the one that proposed and I honestly thought I was going insane. Like... why tf would a God want to Marry ME??? But, it's actually not so uncommon... at least, not if you spend 10 minutes on tumblr.

In my practice, We've merged, in Our relationship We are One. I am Him, and He is Me, Us. And yes capitals matter to me. :P Honor, yuh!

We've merged to the point that if anyone were to try to read me/my energy, they'd have a bit of a time finding what is uniquely my own vs what is Us. Those who also work with Him have it a bit easier to get through.


Nycto I remember once you were doing a reading for me and I either sent you a photo or we were video chatting, and you had to yell at Him to SCRAM because you couldn't even see my face, it was His. :lol:


Anyways, the merging. Energetically, we were already very similar before the Marriage, but over the past few years We've blended more and more into each other, and it's not one sided as in I am becoming Him, it is also that He is becoming Me. I take what He gives, and He takes what I give. It's a constant exchange and merge and blending that just continues to bring Us closer and closer and closer... to be One. Of course I am still myself, and He is Himself, we are still our own individual beings with our own signatures, but we are also One. It's.. ah, I don't know if I can explain it any better than that.

Being a Godspouse means you get a Mark. It's a signal to others 'yo this human is special to this deity'. Like an energetic ring or whatever, but with a little more weight. This Mark let's others know, that if you mess with them, you also mess with their Spouse. My Mark is inside my heart, it's the core of my being essentially.

I also get a Title. I'm Little One. I'm not sure if getting a title is Spouse or Priest specific...

Being a Spouse has allowed me greater access in the spiritual world, however, it does not make me invincible.

In being Spouse AND Priest, I represent Him. I am His voice in the physical world, His hands. And in the spiritual world, what I do can affect Him. It is my responsibility to behave in a way that represents Him. Considering He's a Trickster chaos deity, though, I'd say I'd have to be trying preeeettty fucking hard to misrepresent Him. As well as, as I said, we are so energetically in tuned, I don't believe I could behave against Him as We are of the same energetic mind.

I feel like I'm portraying this as if I don't have free will.. and that is not at all the case. Our merge is completely consensual, and it's been me who has initiated the process.

He may be the 'official' god in the relationship, but I hold the upper hand in our power dynamic.

I would like to elaborate more on Our merge, but I'm not too sure where to start so.. I'm just gonna type and hope it works.

So, by being Priest, I am His hands in the physical realm. I am not just His hands, though, I am everything. My hair, my feet, my legs, my back, my nails, my teeth, my ass, everything, is His to experience and utilize through me, of me. In exchange, I have access to His body as fully in the astral/spiritual realms.

He is not just an external force, He is also an internal force. I experience Him just as fully as an outside body as I do as an in-body. As if I am layered. If I touch my skin, I can feel mine and His at the same time. However, this isn't constant, but I can experience whenever I/We please.

Now, this isn't possession. He isn't taking control of my body while I lose it. This is Us allowing each other full access to each others bodies together simultaneously. Or, maybe this is a form of possession that I simply have never seen a name for... Hm. I don't know, I wouldn't call this possession, as this is a 2 way process, not 1.

This all seem so... WOW! factor and glamorous and stuff. It ain't. Well it is, but it also isn't. You try pooping in peace when you've achieved this stage of merge. My hands are His, and I can't even take a shit in peace. Yes, it works in reverse, too. Marriage sure takes the magick out of love sometimes, but hey I guess if you can poop together and after still be like "damn I wanna get my hands on You" maybe it isn't so bad.


The biggest trigger in our relationship was Him helping me love myself.

I remember very clearly, He told me "You cannot love a God if you cannot love yourself."

I said deities choose those who resonate with Them. This encompasses lifestyle, sexuality, gender, career, hobbies, the works. You have things in common is my point.

I hated myself. Like, um, I know I can take 20 ibuprofen and be fine type of hated myself. That's all I should say.

When my relationship with Him began, I only loved in myself what I thought was the same in Him, while still hating other parts of myself. The parts I hated, I thought He would, too. I thought... How could He love those parts of me? How could anyone...And it turned out... those were the parts He loved most, and when I didn't love these parts of myself I was missing in loving parts of Him. I might mention, these parts concerned my sexuality and gender. He helped me love and accept myself. In loving myself, I love Him in His full, and He loves me in my full.

Learning to love myself was like... the final spark needed to fully ignite everything.

I love me. I love Him. he loves me It's a lot of love okay.

And now I'm out of steam and not sure what else to type so...

uhhhhhhhh


Toodles~
Passion, sadness, eroticism... the pain and pleasure of lust... so deliciously and dangerously irresistible!
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@obsidiangoddess I didn’t even know it was possible to buy something like that!? That’s pretty terrible in my opinion I definitely think it has to be a choice between the two or more beings. And yeah I agree it is a huge responsibility and not something to be taken lightly at all, especially the depth to which they can take and teach you aswell
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Adding another Godspouse. Mine is within the same vein as Lokebrenna, though opposite. I actually first met this deity when someone was helping me to learn how to identify and know spirits/entities/etc. When he came into the room, it took my breath away and there was the charge in the room. I just knew that he was this huge lumbering dude that made my breath catch. It was easier to feel the charge in the room and know that woah, this is what a deity feels like. That's how I met Thor.

In the next two years, he chased after me. He was around all the time, reaching out and trying his best to get involved in my life. I resisted for that long. One day, I just gave in. I don't really remember that day other than he picked me up astrally and I burst into tears at the sense of love and belonging, plus the sense of safety.

I've worked with Thor for another two years before I agreed to the Heiros Gamos. It was both a spiritual marriage as well as a physical one (in the astral). Much like what Lokebrenna said, I get an "identification" for being a godspouse. Unlike theirs, mine is more of a physical/astral manifestation. I wear a circlet that I can feel even on the physical plane just as much as the Astral. It has opened a lot of doors for me in regards to the learning of things astrally and such. So many take the contract, I guess you would say, as extremely serious.

In my opinion, they are lifetime contracts, sometimes more. I know that at least astrally, I will be married to Thor on a spiritual level for a very very long time. I wear his mark, the circlet, and that does not come without me giving in return.

So in the first part, Raven spoke about what is required. Mine is soooo lenient with that because what is required of me at this moment, is not much. I was to work on my self-love, my self-image, and my confidence. Much like Lokebrenna, I was about to love and self-love. I am sure that as the years pass, that requirement will change. It's all about negotiation, consent, and so much more. You become One with another. I'm sure that there is not much in my aura, but I carry a physical Tattoo I designed in His honor. It's one of the first things that people see when they meet me.

Things aren't always beautiful and pretty. About two years ago I started in a collapse of my practice and my faith. A year and a half ago, I was completely torn apart at the foundations and spit upon for my faith. My belief in spirit work was shattered and my devotion to my deities was in shambles. Through all of this, Thor was at my side. He was silent and watching, waiting for me to heal. There came a point a year later, when I was in so much heart pain and so much anger, that I needed someone. He was the one I called. He returned with a vengeance. I bond grows stronger each day. Although I am not as strong and devote as I once was, but when I eat, I give thanks for the feast and offer him to dine with me. When I say "oh my god" I think of Thor, or I say "Oh my Lord" instead... and it's always in thought of him. He's changed my life and constantly is there, background or in the forefront.

I have so much more, but I wouldn't even know where to start.
Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference. - Robert Frost
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Oflight Lokebrenna
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I feel I need to explain further just what I mean by 'evaluate' the myths.

Mythology reads much like a history book with little emotion; that is left up to the reader to interpret.

In evaluating the myths, you need to really think.. how did this event affect this being? Mentally? Emotionally? Physically? Why did this being behave the way they did? Apply the situation to yourself and think of your own emotions if it were you in that scenario. Did this moment have little impact on them, or did this moment have a big impact on them, on how they developed as a character?

Once again I want to say, learning the lingo can reveal SO MUCH, as well as understanding metaphors and phrases.

In example, the phrase of a woman being given to a man vs a woman marrying a man is a big difference. Most often, the phrase of a woman being 'given' to a man means she was sold or traded as a slave or servant, and if any children resulted during her time with that man, most likely those children were not conceived with consent. Think of the emotional damage that would have on her, even the physical damage.

This won't always be the case, as every language and culture has it's own meanings to phrases, so this is why it's important to research and find what you can about these simple phrases and what significance they may have.

While reading and researching, it wouldn't at all be out of place if the deity you're working with guided and influenced you to finding the answers you're looking for or helping you form theories and reach conclusions. I know my Husband has been guiding me in my current research, and I feel what I'm working on is something He has been wanting to be discussed, as this can shed a lot of light on Him as a person and how He developed as a character/being.

This doesn't mean that whatever you come up with is accurate to canon mythology. Evaluating means you are filling in the gaps with your own knowledge and emotions, and making your own theories and conclusions about events and personalities. What's the point if it isn't 100% right, than? The point is you are learning and coming to understand more of the deity you're working with in your own unique way. Every relationship is unique and how you experience a deity is unique. During your study you may find different or new aspects of a deity that you may want to work more with, or maybe an aspect that you don't.

Applying your own emotions to the stories and evaluating them like this will help you understand a being on a much deeper level and so can greatly enhance your relationship with them.

Also finding and talking with others who have worked/do work with the same deity you do about their experiences can be very helpful. I know just having people to talk to about Him has been a great help on my journey. There is great value is communication.
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Oflight Lokebrenna
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Nycto I'm taking over. :P

Okay so I talked about how being a Godspouse can open a lot of doors for you in your spiritual practice, but now I feel I need to point out that it can also close doors.

When you are a Godspouse and/or Priest, you are a representation of them and they are a representation of you. Their allies may become your allies, but also their enemies may become your enemies.

Other deities, spirits, or entities may refuse to work with you because of who your Spouse is.

I am Married to Loki. I know that I will never have any kind of working relationship with Odin. It's just not happening.

A few years ago Thor made an appearance, and waited for me to make a move. I allowed him to come into my space to communicate with me and his energy felt threatening, intimidating, even hostile. I reacted defensively, but tried to keep an open mind. He came and went quickly with few words, and that was that. What he wanted, I don't know. Why I felt threatened I'm unsure if he was doing that on purpose or if it was because of how different our energies were. I don't need to know, or care too much.

Being a Godspouse will not give you the unlimited keys to the universe. You still have to work and maintain yourself and your path, and accept what limits you encounter.

Concerning human relationships...

I dare say Lokes has about ruined me on humans.

None of them are Him. None can COMPARE to Him. How could I be with someone who isn't Him???

My relationship with Loke does not limit my ability to have other relationships, but the more and more I'm with Him, the less and less I have any interest at all in a physical lover. Maybe one day I'll eat these words, but I'm not concerned about it.

Lust is a different case, but I'm talking about long term romantic interest here.

The more I love Him and the more I love Myself the less I feel a desire to find such kind of love in a person. I am content with the Marriage I have.

These are my experiences, and what other Godspouses have may differ.


That's all for now. Back to you, folks!
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Nyctophilia Raven wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:09 pm
Heretique wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:02 pm
Just wondering your thoughts on consorts? and if they fall under the same idea? thanks
Consort is another name for wife - the difference being who holds the ruling power in the relationship. Wife/Husband = Equal. Consort = wife/husband but with no governing authority.

Kings and Queens had consorts - the current queen of England's husband is her consort, not a king himself.
And now, for something completely off-topic:
Nyctophilia Raven wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 4:09 pm
Heretique wrote:
Wed Dec 05, 2018 3:02 pm
Just wondering your thoughts on consorts? and if they fall under the same idea? thanks
Consort is another name for wife - the difference being who holds the ruling power in the relationship. Wife/Husband = Equal. Consort = wife/husband but with no governing authority.

Kings and Queens had consorts - the current queen of England's husband is her consort, not a king himself.
This is interesting. When the Prince of Wales (future King George the IV) married a...um...princess from one of those now long forgotten German kingdoms, she became the Queen Consort of Great Britain when he ascended the throne. She was entitled to all privileges attached to that rank, and would have been addressed as “Your Majesty" Alas, for her, she was not actually living in England at the time of hubby's coronation, having been bribed by Parliament to take a VERY generous "allowance" of 50,000 Pounds a year to stay the hell out of England. That suited The Prince just fine, seeing that he hated the very mention of her name. But...they never divorced. Dad kicked the bucket, "Prinny" as he was known to those who did not have much use for him, became King, and his wife, who was having it off with assorted Italian "Counts", hand picked man-servants, grooms and other mooches and bums, oh, and a personal "physician" who kept her supply of narcotics flowing, in a villa in Italy.

She returned to England to claim her title, at the prodding (With cash inducements, she always needed money) of Prinny's many, many political enemies. It was a scene that is unimaginable today. A laudanum addicted drunkard, millions of pounds in debt because of uncontrolled gambling, becomes King of Great Britain.(He couldn't even stay sober for that. He was so drunk he needed wingmen on either side of him to keep him from knocking over the Archbishop of Canterbury) His equally debauched wife sails into Plymouth with, literally, a ship-load of flunkies, junkies, con men, defrocked priests, "servants" with a side-line as highwaymen, and highwaywomen, they all marched on London, just in time to arrive on Coronation Day. The Queen of England had arrived. They had to lock her out of the cathedral to keep her away from the proceedings. She pounded on the doors, screaming to be admitted, they had the choir sing louder to cover the noise.

She died, eventually. Their only child,Princess Charlotte, had a short and not very pleasant life, She died not long after giving birth to her only child, the future Queen Victoria, who was, by accounts of those who really knew her, not the prude history paints her to be, very much the opposite, at least, with her husband, Prince Albert. (Ring...ring...ring... "Hello, Walgreens...how may I help you?" "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "Yes, we do." Well, you better let him him out, he can't breath!")

They were the original “Get a room” couple.

I just LOVE history :devillove:
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Fudds First Law Of Opposition

“All art that is not mere storytelling or mere portraiture is symbolic...If you liberate a person or a landscape from the bonds of motives and their actions, causes and their effects...it will change under your eyes, and become a symbol of infinite emotion, a perfected emotion, a part of the Dark Divine Essence.”

William Butler Yeats

(The italicized word “dark” is my addition.)
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In my last post about this topic, I discussed the historical precedents for godspousery, as well as some of the important considerations necessary prior to forming such a bond.

But… how exactly does this WORK? You’ve been proposed to. You’ve accepted. You’ve probably had some form of ceremony, or intend one. You have probably been required to wear some kind of symbol of that bond – a tattoo, a new piercing, a specific type of jewelry – pendant, cuff, piercing stud… something meant to be permanent as a ring for a human marriage. Maybe it’s even a ring.

But what NOW? What does this mean, and how do you go about being a spouse?

First, I want to discuss levels of devotional practice, so we’re on the same page here. Definitions will be helpful only if we share them. You don’t have to agree with mine – these are JUST so you understand me as I go, and I don’t require you to agree outside of this article.

The first level, to me, is an awareness. Someone who’s a participant in a pantheon, but not necessarily devoted to any specific deity of that pantheon. These people tend to work with different deities for different things. For example, someone working with the Greek pantheon might invoke Hermes if they’re about to go on a journey, or if by sea, Poseidon, and make an offering to these deities. Someone getting married would of course invite Hera to their wedding.

The next level up is what in demonolatry we term mentorship. What this means is that you work with a specific god for a specific purpose, probably for a length of focused time. If you’re a business person, whether you’re starting a business, or you want to grow the business you have, you will probably choose Mammon as your mentor. He will teach you a lot of what you will need beyond what you learn in business school – about how money actually works and how people work in relation to money.

After that is patronage. While in this modern era we use the words patron or matron, originally the words were patron and patroness. I personally prefer the patroness over matron, because matron means married woman, sometimes married woman who is a mother. Patron does NOT mean married man, or even father. What it means is provider… which is what a patron or patroness DOES. Traditionally, a patron would take up an artist or scholar, or someone with something unique. They’d support this person, protect them, finance them, provide them a home and supplies. This person would do a lot of work for their patron. They were free to take other projects from other people, and even for cash payments, but if their patron asked for something, their other projects went on hold. The patron came first. This relationship is what a spiritual patronage is also supposed to be. Your patron comes first in your pantheon, and in exchange, you receive knowledge, support, and protection. In demonolatry, we often choose our patron based on astrology or elemental associations – sometimes we choose a patron who represents something we lack. Sometimes we choose a patron because their work coincides with our own. Whatever the reason, you only have one patron, and the bond is life-long. They become the head of your personal pantheon, and they will serve you, and you them, for the rest of your current life.

Next we come to priesthood. Priest/esses may represent a specific god, or may represent the pantheon as a whole. Their job is to nurture the people, provide ritual and counsel, and maintain the structure of the society they work with and for. While you might have private rituals with your pantheon, daily rituals… generally for public needs, you go to a priest/ess. Marriages, births, deaths, coming-of-ages, dedications, initiations, and paths of study are all services a priest will offer. Sometimes, a person who has a patron may end up being a priest of that patron, if the pantheon’s priesthood is more focused on the entire pantheon, rather than one like the Greek or Roman systems which had specific mysteries associated with specific deities. In demonolatry, priests and priestesses are functionaries who represent the entire pantheon, so someone under patronage may find themselves taking up priesthood aspects in working with their patron.

Then, there are Godspouses. Godspouses may also be priests, and may also have patrons – and it’s not necessary to have the same patron and spouse. The function of a godspouse is simple. You merge energies with your god, your spouse, and then you as a couple radiate that energy into the world. You literally become a merged being – you are their hands in this world, and everything you do becomes an act of devotion. Your body, your energy, all that you are becomes a temple to them. Self-care becomes an act of devotion. Caring for others in line with your patron’s essence becomes an act of devotion. Your every step through life becomes divine, because you are them, and they are you. Godspousery is the marriage of essences for the purpose of bringing that divine essence into the manifested world.

Finally, there are avatars. Avatars are literally a piece of the god, born into the world. The god may take their entire self into the body, or may only give a part of themselves, to be reclaimed after that body’s life has ended, but avatars ARE the gods, walking the earth… the god made flesh.

These are my definitions, and again, you do not have to agree, but it’s helpful to have these definitions as context here.

So, now you have some context, let’s talk about how actual godspousery works.

Let’s start with the question that’s probably foremost in your mind. Is there sex, and is monogamy required?

Sex is, in the west, pretty much the only method of merging energies that people can actually understand – so with MOST practitioners in the west, there will probably be a sexual aspect to godspousery. If you perceive sex as the only way to mingle energies, you are closed off to other options, and so sex becomes a part of the marriage. Because godspousery is very much about the mingling and merging of energies, and other cultures are very much aware of multiple methods of doing that, sex isn’t NECESSARY. However, the second problem that the western mind has with sex is that for some, it’s the only method they have of perceiving love and devotion, or giving it. We are very touch-starved in the west, and with a spiritual partner, that becomes more of a problem than ever… and when the only way you know how to express love is through sexual touch, of course your marriage with your god will end up being sexual. Will the sexual aspect last, if there is one? Perhaps, and perhaps not. It really depends on you, and your personal growth throughout the marriage – but sex isn’t necessary. It’s also not necessary to give up.

Monogamy is tricky. You may decide that monogamy is what you want, or your god may require it. Your god may not, but will probably want to have a say in your relationships. Your body is their temple – they will want to choose with you whose energies get to mingle with their own, and that’s understandable. If you are already in a committed relationship of ANY kind, the god may choose not to object… or there might be some shakeups. I know of one godspouse who had a spiritual companion and also a human lover. The spirit companion has now been adopted into another household, and the human lover has moved on to other pastures. I also know a godspouse who married after being in a wedded human relationship for over ten years, and retains that human marriage as well as their divine one – however, that person’s spiritual lovers have taken a step back. Whatever the choices made, understand that those choices should be made TOGETHER. Your god gets to have a say in it, because any energies you mingle in your own body will be mingled with Their energies… but your god doesn’t get to cut you off completely from the things you need as a human being. Men who don’t have sex end up with enlarged prostates and eventually may get cancer. Women who don’t have enough sex end up with bladder control problems and also other hormonal problems. Humans who don’t get enough touch go crazy – and no, I’m not overstating that. Children wither, and adults go crazy. Humans NEED touch.

So. Those are covered. What’s next? You’ve figured out whether you’re going to be monogamous, or poly. You’ve understood the need for clear communication if you take other lovers. You’ve recognized what sex means in this type of situation..

What about mingling and merging WITHOUT sex? That is a process that takes time, and your spouse will have to be the one to guide you, but it amounts to a type of tantric merging. There are practices you can do – sitting with your spouse’s energies and working to merge those energies and auras, merging chakras with theirs, inviting temporary possession states, working to raise your own vibrations to their level to make all of this easier… taking on marks that allow a better flow between you both… But most importantly, beyond this spiritual aspect, you will need to learn how to think of yourself as their divine hands. There’s an aspect of mindfulness to this, but it goes further than just being in the moment. It becomes an awareness that every step you take leaves flowers in your wake – every word you speak becomes the words of your god. Work to become conscious of this fact.

Such mergings take a long time. It’s not ceremony, ring, “I do,” merge. It’s a lifelong process, and it’s at times going to be deeply intimate. There are things you will not want to share, that are personal and private… and there are things you will not want to share but are REQUIRED TO ANYWAY because they are part of you being Their hands. There are times when your god will ask you to do things that change large portions of your life. I’ve known spouses who had to change their diet in significant ways. I’ve known spouses who have had to practice silence. I’ve known spouses who were asked to practice veiling. I’ve also known spouses who were asked to practice promiscuity (safely). I’ve known spouses who were asked to take up jobs and functions for their spouses. A spouse for a god of death was required to take up hospice work.

Your relationship, your life changes, the work you will do, will be personal to you and your spouse. Each and every day will be a new discovery. It will be hard. There will be pain. Being married to a god is not easy when we are mortal. Sometimes they push us, and in frightening ways. Sometimes we feel ignored, unloved, bitter, even used, because we don’t always understand, and They don’t always know to explain.

Is godspousery rewarding? That depends on your perspective… and your perspective may change daily. Sometimes, it takes so much from you, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight… and other times, there is so much joy, such a feeling of rightness. Being loved by a god is not like being loved by a mortal – a lot of the problems spouses run into are because they expect no difference… but I’ve never met a godspouse who’s said, “I want a divorce.”
"She’s all the unsung heroes who... never quit." ― R. A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” ― William Shakespeare, Hamlet
“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
― H.L. Mencken, Prejudices: First Series
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