View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Fri Feb 23, 2018 6:50 am

Satan and Sons Store     The Chat Room     Demon Encyclopedia     Satan and Suns Blog     Twitter     Facebook     Newsletter 




Reply to topic  [ 15 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
 Is leviathan a good father figure 
Author Message

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:57 pm
Posts: 22
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 3 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
Look...I haven't been honest with you guys...I did get help, or...I tried to. Way before I came here. Literally. But...my mom blamed it on me being "lazy" or that I'm "thinking too much" also, she...wasn't as good as I let on. There were times where I would pitch an autistic fit, arguing with her to a point where instead of dealing with my tantrums, she would, turn up the volume in our car, or just lock me in my room. It got so bad they...sent me away to get help. I guess that's why I like pretending she's still a good person. That she did rush in and save me when I was four, when...the truth is she came in afterwards. When you're as messed up as me, you'll believe anything to keep from cracking in half. If there was a question I'd ask akelta as a mother, it would be "am I in the wrong?" As to why I am asking if leviathan is a good father figure, or, really a good parental figure in the first place, you now know why.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 6:10 am
Profile
SINNER of the month
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:41 pm
Posts: 409
Has thanked: 193 times
Been thanked: 306 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
Again, this is something that is personal to you and the person you're speaking of which in this case is leviathan. I don't really know how to say this without sounding mean but have you thought about going to a therapist? You seem to be looking to have these voids filled by a dark lord when the purpose of connecting to a dark lord or any being really is to learn from them, welcoming them into your life and working with them. You have a lot of deep personal issues that you've always brought up on the forums and that is something you have to work on yourself and truly get over if you want to grow. A lot if not all of us have gone through some rough stuff but it is a matter of if you're going to take what has happened to you and use it as a crutch or let it define you or if you're going to take those experiences and let yourself grow from them and accept that bad things happen to everyone. I am not going to speak for Leviathan on this but my only suggestion is the same one that people have suggested to you before, go and speak to him yourself to find the answers. No one can get your answers for you but yourself. This journey is a lot about personal growth.

_________________
Personally, I don't choose any particular religion or symbol or group of words or teachings to define me. That's between me and the most high. You know, my higher self. The Creator.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:05 am
Profile

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:57 pm
Posts: 22
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 3 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
Yes, in fact that's what I asked my mom and my aunt about, and what I meant when my mom thought it was because I was lazy, and whatnot. I even told her beforehand that I was having trouble letting go.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:15 am
Profile

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:57 pm
Posts: 22
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 3 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
In fact my mom was recommended to someone when I was 14-16, by a doctor, and my psychiatric doctor, and she never set it up. She just let it dissappear into the void


Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:21 am
Profile

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:57 pm
Posts: 22
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 3 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
The only reason I am telling you this now, is because like I said in the first post, was because...I didn't want to believe my mom....

Which by the way, you wouldn't have to ask me the question, if you read the first post and not skimmed it.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:26 am
Profile
SINNER of the month
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2016 7:41 pm
Posts: 409
Has thanked: 193 times
Been thanked: 306 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
The post does not address you seeing a therapist currently. Just that you got sent away for help which could mean a number of things. Regardless, I remember you asking this question before once or twice and you've gotten the same answer each time. Listing more of what has sadly happened to you does not change the answer or what I said. Work through these issues that you still keep relevant in your life so that you're allowed to grow. And start connecting to Leviathan yourself to get the answers you seek. No one can do anything for you, not even a dark lord if you're not willing to put in the work and improving yourself.

_________________
Personally, I don't choose any particular religion or symbol or group of words or teachings to define me. That's between me and the most high. You know, my higher self. The Creator.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:35 am
Profile
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:08 am
Posts: 3244
Location: Canada
Has thanked: 1976 times
Been thanked: 3164 times
Patron Deities?: Lucifer, Satan, Mammon, Azazel, Paimon, Prince V
Your favourite Demon?: Lucifer, Satan, Mammon, Azazel, Andras, Paimon, Tiger, Venom, Prince H, Bear, Prince V
Number of Demon Familiars: 66
I second what Velca said.

This path is one of accountability and personal growth, it is your path to walk, and the results you get will be based on how much you put into it. It is not about filling voids, it is about healing yourself and stepping back into your power. Spiritual paths are deeply personal. They help you to get in touch with yourself and are very healing and empowering.

I have worked with some demons for over 15 years and I am still learning about them. These things take time, it is not something that is just handed to you. It is something that is built up through working with them and putting in your half of the work. So many of us has told you what you need to do to connect and work with Leviathan, why do you keep asking if you are not going to listen to the advice we give you?

If you want to connect with Lord Leviathan do the work, put in the time to learn about him, read about working with demons and approaching them from a respectful place, put in the work that is needed to connect with him, then work with him. Honesty, you referenced me as a mother here, I will tell you what I would tell my kids. I would tell them the books they need to read and I would show them how but they would have to do the work themselves. I would guide them, but not do it for them. That is how people learn and grow, that is how you heal, that is how you take the power back in your life, by doing the work that needs to be done. If you want to connect with him, read the materials and do the work. If you want to heal what was done to you, seek out a therapist and find a way to get help.

You do not need your moms permission to go to a therapist, it can be good just to have someone to talk to which can help you organize your thoughts and give you life skills, and help you heal. Therapy is a personal thing and you do not need anyones permission to go.

_________________
Royal Demon Goddess
Lover of Night
Seeker of True Knowledge


Image
Satan's Little Elf

Walk with Satan in Shadow
Dance with Lucifer in Light
Kneel before Mammon's Throne


Satan and Sun's Blog


Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:45 am
Profile WWW

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:57 pm
Posts: 22
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 3 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
*shows the wheel of fortune reversed as my card*
This card represents external evil forces, among other things. I have some control over my willingness to change (13th major arcana). Thing is, it's kind of like a "carrot on a stick" scenario, and I'm the rabbit. I know that their bad for me, but...they're the only people I have, and I thinknow they know it too. That's why I'm looking for dl leviathan, as a father figure. I want to change, but it's hard when you aren't the one with the key.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:12 am
Profile

Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:57 pm
Posts: 22
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 3 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
You want me to be honest? I...have looked for an easy way out. Thing is, I never knew what I was looking for. Now I do. This "void" was created because I lack love. Hearing the words "I love you" from my parents's feels like a big slap in the face. I just want someone to say "I love you" and have it not sound hollow, and false. To feel warm and fuzzy, and to know that someone's got my back, and would truly stay by my side, and not take advantage of me, and make me feel confident. These are things my parents do not do. If building a relationship with leviathan was the real world equivalent to building a house, I'd build that house, if it meant getting all of those things. Imagine a child, afraid of his father, and neglected by his mother, two people who are supost to love their child, and they simply don't.

I'm not looking for a quick exit now, I just want someone to say "I love you" and mean it. But it seems to be the most difficult thing to ask for.


Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:42 am
Profile
Cotton Candy
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:05 pm
Posts: 365
Has thanked: 368 times
Been thanked: 482 times
Number of Demon Familiars: 0
awesomesauce12 wrote:
I'm not looking for a quick exit now, I just want someone to say "I love you" and mean it. But it seems to be the most difficult thing to ask for.


That someone is yourself and that process requires work. You're looking in all the wrong places with all the wrong eyes, turn inwards and face your shadows.

_________________
cotton candy delirium
...madness like sugar
sweetness
still dark
but colored
ravenous ecstasy
in cookies cream


Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:56 am
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 15 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Views Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
Designed by ST Software for PTF.
Karma functions powered by Karma MOD © 2007, 2009 m157y