Spirit Keeping: When to accept "Rehoming" as an option?

Questions and Answers for where to begin on the Darker Spiritual Paths.

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Darth Moronius wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:29 am
ask orignal conjurer first if spirit want rehome really. then ask rehome :devilchain:
Hopefully it won't come down to that, in fact I doubt it will, as I'm not looking for rehome advice nor am I considering Rehoming unless it's months down the line and it's clear I simply cannot connect or work through the blockages.

I believe the original point of my post is being missed. I wanted to hear others experiences and opinions when it came to Rehoming to better have a foundation for judgement on my own actions and what steps to take in what order in the future.
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Re-reading the thread again I redact my statements about feeling misunderstood. Rather I was misunderstanding the intent of some posts.
My bad!
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Ishvala wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:56 pm
I mean it's an answer but it doesn't directly answer my question. It just tells me to be careful about projectjng...

However if you think it's "answer enough" I'll just assume that when directed at my original questions about Rehoming your answers are a no, and you would never do it, etc.

I'll follow up by asking why some people are more open to it and others see it as highly disrespectful...? Is there a clear divide in opinion on the subject as far as a community goes, or is it just coincidence that as a collective everyone had around the same answer?

Sorry if that's a bit oddly worded, I'm not sure how else to phrase it. It's almost two in the morning. XD
Some people are attached to their spirits so they would see it as disrespectful.
But if they are spirits they very well know what they got into even that they would at one point be rehomed or released.
And I do get it that people could it as disrespectful if you want to rehome someone who went to you willingly, knowing who you are and what you're doing and then getting rejected.
Those people do the same though, they project their own expectations and reactions onto the spirits. I'm sure that some spirits would be disappointed for being rehomed, but I wouldn't go so far as them feeling disrespected.
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Aprophis wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 7:45 am
Ishvala wrote:
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:56 pm
I mean it's an answer but it doesn't directly answer my question. It just tells me to be careful about projectjng...

However if you think it's "answer enough" I'll just assume that when directed at my original questions about Rehoming your answers are a no, and you would never do it, etc.

I'll follow up by asking why some people are more open to it and others see it as highly disrespectful...? Is there a clear divide in opinion on the subject as far as a community goes, or is it just coincidence that as a collective everyone had around the same answer?

Sorry if that's a bit oddly worded, I'm not sure how else to phrase it. It's almost two in the morning. XD
Some people are attached to their spirits so they would see it as disrespectful.
But if they are spirits they very well know what they got into even that they would at one point be rehomed or released.
And I do get it that people could it as disrespectful if you want to rehome someone who went to you willingly, knowing who you are and what you're doing and then getting rejected.
Those people do the same though, they project their own expectations and reactions onto the spirits. I'm sure that some spirits would be disappointed for being rehomed, but I wouldn't go so far as them feeling disrespected.
Sorry I should have clarified. I meant the seeing it as disrespectful bit towards what other Keepers seemed to react with, not the Spirits themselves.
But I see your point all the same.
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I came to spirit KEEPING about ten years ago. I've routinely conjured entities since I was 8, trading services - but while some of them stayed several months or even a few years to complete the services I'd traded for, we weren't KEEPING each other.

My first experience with KEEPING came from Creepy Hollows.

In the beginning, it was a truly wonderful experience.

However, I'm... well, things change. I'm more reserved and reclusive than I used to be. I have less energy for socializing, even with spirit companions. I eventually found that my family was too large, and it was a huge drain on me. I also had serious emotional issues regarding that family - I was magically attacked multiple times, and eventually those attacks destroyed me. I'm not overstating this. I was catatonic for two years because of those attacks. I literally stared at a wall and didn't speak, for two years. It was like being in some deep, dark hole... people would talk to me and it would take hours for what they said to actually get to me... and then it would take hours for me to respond, if I did at all.

When I finally started to recover, I felt... not abandoned, but... betrayed.

These were my family, these beings. They were my protection. They were my safety.

And they didn't save me.



I couldn't get over it.

So eventually, when I felt strong enough, I went through them all, and attempted to connect to each one of them. The ones I felt no connection with, I contacted CH, and asked them to be released or rehomed, whatever the spirit wished.

However, I soon found that I was still feeling neglectful of the remaining... and the idea of reconnecting was so exhausting, I finally understood, I didn't want them. I didn't want to keep them anymore. I wanted to be free.

Keeping is a responsibility. It's not just a ussery relationship to me... and I didn't have the energy to fulfill my side of the relationships anymore.

So I contacted CH again, and I had them take back every spirit I had from them.



The only beings in my keep now are entities, or spirits that came from other sources. Those sources are no longer available so I can't rehome or release those beings... but we have an understanding - they are not part of my life anymore.



It took me five years to come to these conclusions, these understandings about my feelings and needs. I did not make these decisions lightly.

SPIRIT keeping isn't for everyone. And not every spirit or type of spirit is for those who it is for. If you have negative feelings about a physical relationship, with another person, what do you do about that?

Do you remain in a relationship you are dissatisfied and unhappy in?

Over the years, many human friends have come and gone in my life. Friendships are ephemeral. When they have run their course, when they no longer serve you or your friend, it's ok to let that friend go their own way, it's ok to choose to go yours.

Spirit we keep are friends - they may not have bodies, but they still fit that basic format of relationship.



I believe it's important for you right now to really take stock in your friendship with this particular spirit, and decide how much of the issues you're having are your own personal issues (shadow), and how much are actual problems with the relationship itself.

Sometimes, we just don't mix well.



I recently left the discord channel because of a serious personality conflict. It's ok to admit you don't mesh with someone. It's ok to walk away from that... sometimes it's what's best for not just yourself, but for that person, for their important relationships, and for everyone around you that is being affected by that conflict.

Spirit keeping should be looked at the same way.


I wish you good luck in your considerations about this spirit. Trust yourself and know, whatever you choose, the spirit will be ok with it. They saw it coming.

Be well.
-Raven
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Nyctophilia Raven wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:22 am
I came to spirit KEEPING about ten years ago. I've routinely conjured entities since I was 8, trading services - but while some of them stayed several months or even a few years to complete the services I'd traded for, we weren't KEEPING each other.

My first experience with KEEPING came from Creepy Hollows.

In the beginning, it was a truly wonderful experience.

However, I'm... well, things change. I'm more reserved and reclusive than I used to be. I have less energy for socializing, even with spirit companions. I eventually found that my family was too large, and it was a huge drain on me. I also had serious emotional issues regarding that family - I was magically attacked multiple times, and eventually those attacks destroyed me. I'm not overstating this. I was catatonic for two years because of those attacks. I literally stared at a wall and didn't speak, for two years. It was like being in some deep, dark hole... people would talk to me and it would take hours for what they said to actually get to me... and then it would take hours for me to respond, if I did at all.

When I finally started to recover, I felt... not abandoned, but... betrayed.

These were my family, these beings. They were my protection. They were my safety.

And they didn't save me.



I couldn't get over it.

So eventually, when I felt strong enough, I went through them all, and attempted to connect to each one of them. The ones I felt no connection with, I contacted CH, and asked them to be released or rehomed, whatever the spirit wished.

However, I soon found that I was still feeling neglectful of the remaining... and the idea of reconnecting was so exhausting, I finally understood, I didn't want them. I didn't want to keep them anymore. I wanted to be free.

Keeping is a responsibility. It's not just a ussery relationship to me... and I didn't have the energy to fulfill my side of the relationships anymore.

So I contacted CH again, and I had them take back every spirit I had from them.



The only beings in my keep now are entities, or spirits that came from other sources. Those sources are no longer available so I can't rehome or release those beings... but we have an understanding - they are not part of my life anymore.



It took me five years to come to these conclusions, these understandings about my feelings and needs. I did not make these decisions lightly.

SPIRIT keeping isn't for everyone. And not every spirit or type of spirit is for those who it is for. If you have negative feelings about a physical relationship, with another person, what do you do about that?

Do you remain in a relationship you are dissatisfied and unhappy in?

Over the years, many human friends have come and gone in my life. Friendships are ephemeral. When they have run their course, when they no longer serve you or your friend, it's ok to let that friend go their own way, it's ok to choose to go yours.

Spirit we keep are friends - they may not have bodies, but they still fit that basic format of relationship.



I believe it's important for you right now to really take stock in your friendship with this particular spirit, and decide how much of the issues you're having are your own personal issues (shadow), and how much are actual problems with the relationship itself.

Sometimes, we just don't mix well.



I recently left the discord channel because of a serious personality conflict. It's ok to admit you don't mesh with someone. It's ok to walk away from that... sometimes it's what's best for not just yourself, but for that person, for their important relationships, and for everyone around you that is being affected by that conflict.

Spirit keeping should be looked at the same way.


I wish you good luck in your considerations about this spirit. Trust yourself and know, whatever you choose, the spirit will be ok with it. They saw it coming.

Be well.
-Raven
I cannot express enough how well crafted this response is. It answered my questions, made me feel as if I wasn't alone in my situation, and allowed me to resonate to another's experiences to some degree, as well as offered advice and a few options to take. Not only that, but it's highly personal which is extremely appreciated as it allows me to look at things from a perspective I wouldn't have been able to do with a very small, basic, cut out copy response.

I'm so grateful you shared this with me and agree with you completely. Hopefully, in the end, whatever happens my friend and I will be content with the mutual decision and benefit from it.
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Nyctophilia Raven wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 11:22 am

When I finally started to recover, I felt... not abandoned, but... betrayed.

These were my family, these beings. They were my protection. They were my safety.

And they didn't save me.

With all due respect (and while I do understand your feelings at the time), I hope you realize in retrospect that this could be a pretty unhealthy way to view the situation. It's not necessarily their responsibility or even up to them to save you or remedy your issues, not to mention it is also highly possible those who might have tried to intervene just did not have enough power or divine permission to interfere with that scenario. I will add that it could be the case that you were completely blocked from them, for that matter. There's a big question mark to me of how you can even be sure they weren't trying to help, and how you really know that when you began to recover it wasn't with their aid.

I wouldn't put that sort of blame on the spirits, especially when -as you said- you had far too many around to invest into developing a bond with. Just because someone is part of your family doesn't make them obligated to or able to get through to you in times of need. We've all been through terrible shit and in some cases, MUST go through it to learn something or to be pushed to make the right decisions for our lives.

Consider the pressure in that situation as well to expect them to come through and save you when it could be entirely out of their control. Consider the pain they may have felt having to sit back and merely watch as their efforts failed or they were barred from doing more.
I am wondering if they actually told you 'we didn't try to save you, we didn't want to save you'??? It's improbable for every single spirit (you are talking large numbers) to be so uninvolved, uncaring or indifferent. A few spirits? Maybe.
An important lesson here is that friends/family are not to be relied on for protection, they can supplement your own efforts where possible and if they are able to do any more than that it's a beautiful blessing to be grateful for rather than to feel entitled to; apart from what they may offer, this is your life and you need to be capable of protecting yourself. Perhaps that is one of the more vital reasons that removing the spirits from your life was beneficial to you.

I have a companion, of my very dearest, who has gone so far as to attack me himself as part of my training in protection. I've had a deity in my life do this too, trying to push out of me my own innate skills. I have had deities and spirits blatantly tell me that I am on my own in the most painful times of my life, and while I did not understand at first --I don't feel betrayed by them. I am immensely grateful for the ways they have forced me to grow.
I get obviously not everyone is the same, everyone has different expectations with regards to family and friendship and you made the choice you needed to, but I think it's really important to take self-responsibility and look at the complexity of a bond and situation rather than to just chalk things up to not meshing.

In my opinion, if you cut out everything in your life you don't mesh with, you begin to lose that objective view of self and in worst case begin to foster a controlled environment of delusion.
I know this wasn't the singular point of your response, but it seemed worth stating.
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Hiya Noc.

So, I wanted to reply to this when I was more... conscious.

I'm not always good at communicating things... feelings are the hardest. I'm also really shitty about showing the evolution of emotions over time.

When I first began to recover from everything, five years ago... I DID feel betrayed.

I'm not saying that my spirits didn't try to help, because I know for sure that some of them did - I had dreams that told me what kind of attack I was under and how to get out of it, I had guidance for physical protections... I had help.

It was just that ultimately none of it did any good, and by the time I began to come out of the hole I was buried in, so much has changed in me.

I didn't rehome them when I first awoke... I was too... overwhelmed by too much to even think about the spirit world at all.

When I did start working spiritually again, I had to work on me, not work with something or someone else, for a long time, to get to a point where I was actually ready to even try to connect to anyone.

When I was finally ready to try, I discovered that I didn't have any connection with a lot of my previous keep - as I said, I've just changed too much. I'm not the Nycto I was, I'm the Raven I am - and there are chunks of me... not missing so much as altered drastically.

So there were a bunch that I didn't connect with at all anymore.

And then after that batch of release/rehome (or whatever CH decided to do with them), it was awhile before I just realized that I didn't want a family so large.

I have very little energy to spare these days. It gets better every season, but it's made me SERIOUSLY selective about who and what gets my energy anymore... and spirits are one of the things I cut, because it wasn't just exhausting energetically, but also emotionally, to have so many people in my life who I felt a responsibility towards because they were my bound friends.

I just didn't want that many friends anymore - it was too much for me. It still is.

I have a family of 15, and most of those are entities... and I'm happier this way.

And I fully believe that my spirit friends knew this would come, that they were with me for the beginning, which led to my dying, which led me to this path I'm walking now. I'm not ungrateful to them. They're just... not part of this life.
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Hello Nycto, thank you for elaborating on that a bit more. I still believe what I've said could be important for those in the future who are feeling betrayed or let down as a result of a situation like you went through, so am sticking by that although I know you cannot personally change how things went down and you wouldn't want to as it led to the place you needed to be at.

I also do believe that, partially related to what you've shared but also just reiterating an implication in my original post, we don't have to feel so much pressure with keeping these companions in our lives. Yes there is a responsibility involved as with any friendship or relationship, but when they come to you in the first place as has been stated they do know how it's going to be.
The real urge behind 'rehoming' it occurs to me might be when people just are not meant to follow a spirit-keeping path. In the first place we need to be conscientious about bringing spirits or other beings into our lives, especially when it's not as straight-forward to connect with them the way it is with physical friends/family.. most of the time when people are thinking of 'rehoming' they really don't have any reasonable basis for this other than feeling as though they've 'let down' their companions and their companions are disappointed or they cannot connect.

Taking it from the stance of a physical human friend being in your life.. to just suddenly misinterpret everything they are saying or not hear it at all, or decide you don't like them or want them around anymore based on how things seem rather than how things really are, would be quite a bitchy and inadequate move. Also you wouldn't 'rehome' a friend unless they were living with you and had legit nowhere else to go. Lol. This is why the rehoming subject gets kind of inane to my mind, considering they aren't pets.

Like think of it, think of making a physical friend. You meet them at the supermarket or a museum or something, whatever. HEY FRIEND, I cannot hear you or see you but I really think you hate me or this will never work out so you have to leave and I'm going to make sure you are..
REHOMED.


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Noctua wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:37 pm
Like think of it, think of making a physical friend. You meet them at the supermarket or a museum or something, whatever. HEY FRIEND, I cannot hear you or see you but I really think you hate me or this will never work out so you have to leave and I'm going to make sure you are..
REHOMED.
That sounds like the bad start of a dystopia, or a weird dark comedy AA-meeting based show. Either way, I can definitely see why that'd feel off. To put it lightly.
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