I jumped at the opportunity to get this Blessing when it was offered through the Satan and Sons email newsletter in November 2019. I thought I knew what my intention was.
I don't remember how I was feeling the day that I opened my email and read the Scroll containing the details regarding the Blessing. But I do know how I felt the day after. I was in excruciating pain in my left ear and jaw. I called in sick for work. And that was the day I first read about the survivor's guilt in the book Finding Meaning, The Sixth Stage of Grief. I thought I was having some kind of inflammation flare up, at the time. But what I was actually experiencing was energetic build up of energies getting ready to be released that weekend. Valentine's day weekend was a weekend of self love. It just didn't include completing the ritual outlined in the scroll, which was what I had originally planned. I didn't realize that this Blessing was a contributing factor in bringing about the release of the guilt energy that had been attracting punishment into my experience.
And it was also no coincidence that Wednesday (March 11, 2020) was a full month after I received the scroll. And that was the day that I was finally ready to do the ritual. Finally!
I still resisted it as I was getting everything ready when I got home from work. The candle, the needle to carve Mammon's sigil. Getting the pen and paper. It was going to be so much work and it's going to take forever, part of me whined. Another part of me just ignored it and kept getting everything ready. And sat down with pen and paper and the scroll and followed the directions.
Below I am going to open up and share my notes on the three colours and what they mean to me as explored through the ritual. I feel it may help to explain what happened when I woke up the next day.
The colour Gold:
Gold is the material wealth manifesting into my physical reality.
The colour Rose Gold:
Rose Gold is the material wealth manifesting into my reality in perpetuity - the ever blooming, infinite supply, always replenishing and multiplying.
Rose Gold is also a mix of gold and copper. Copper being both a conductor of energy and a protective element against negativity. This protective energy is what helps to keep the rose blooming pure and in perpetuity.
The colour Violet:
Violet is my true self, my whole self. Black light glows violet to the human eye. I am pure darkness and embracing this is key to the Rose Gold growing and blooming and multiplying, as well as the material wealth manifesting into my physical reality.
After I lit the candle and gazed into the flame, I could see three beams forming a triangle, flaring out from the flame. The beams extending outward to my body - straight between my heart and my solar plexus.
I wrote down my goal again and spoke it out loud. I will share the first third of it here. The rest still needs to remain incubated from outside influence. Thank you for your understanding. The part that I can share is that my goal for 2020 is to be an Innovative Spellbinding Storyteller.
I took the goal I wrote down and placed it under my pillow when I went to bed.
When I woke up Thursday morning the first thing I thought to do - I had to do it immediately. No waiting around - was to write an email to a business mentor that I just committed to start working with on a regular basis. Below are excerpts from that email:
This was no coincidence. This was a direct result of doing the ritual the night before. And the funny thing is, I can't find the sparkly designs or the cool music loop. But when I got home from work Thursday and combed through my DVD-Rs for any signs of my former pod cast aspirations - I actually found the script for what I had planned for my premiere podcast. It was dated June 14, 2005. It was JK Rowling's Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. When I did a google search to see if there was any remains of my book snark designs from back in 2005 - well, there wasn't - no big surprise there. But there are two other Book Snarks out there now. One on twitter and one doing a pod cast in Feb 2020. Like I said. 15 years ahead of the times.Hello XXXXXX!
I want to wish you the best of luck with your new podcast, XXXXX XXXXXXX. . .
Back in 2001 I self published a book titled Pussycats Gruff. . .It sold maybe five copies. Two years later I decided to revise and expand it and refused to change the name. I used the pen name of Phoenix McKnight.
That edition ended up selling about 25 copies. But I was so unknown. I needed something to build a audience . . . How about this neat new thing called a pod cast? Yeah, that's it! I'll record a pod cast of my own Snarky book reviews Mystery Science Theater 3000 inspired.
So that is what I set out to do in 2005. I designed a logo with a sparkly snarky set of lips and put it in a free CafePress print on demand store (t-shirts and stuff). Found a cool free loop for my theme music, did up scripts for my first three reviews. I think I even tried recording one of them. But ultimately I never launched. The Book Snark is a chapter in my history. That proves to me that I was 15 years ahead of the times. . .
Anyone who has not been in a caregiving situation with an emotionally immature parent, does not comprehend just how draining it was emotionally and physically. I didn't even know it when I was going through it. I'm only learning now that I was expecting waaaay too much from myself and beating myself up for failures in a situation where most people wouldn't have even got as far as I did. I shouldn't have even got as far as I did with the Book Snark pod cast in that situation, at that time.
. . . The sad thing, XXXXX? Aside from the fact that my Book Snark files got wiped out by a computer crash in 2008, I mean. I am sooo disappointed that I cannot find the files.. . The designs were cool and sparkly. And the theme was, too... The sad thing, is that I completely forgot that I even attempted to do this cool thing until I saw your video on Facebook about your XXXXXX pod cast...
I am blown away by this. Maybe it is incoherent babble to anyone else, as I try to express how big a deal these two things that have happened in the span of just one month are. I hope, though, that maybe you can see the impact this Blessing can have on your experience. I know that I will be making this a yearly thing for as long as Satan and Sons offers the Blessing.
Thank you, Lord Mammon!
And thank you to the Coven of Satan and Sons!
