Meditation 4: Shade of Cryptmas Death

[ysabeau]

Guided Meditation 4: Shade of Cryptmas Death



Deeper into the Crypt, we go deeper into the Mysteries and Deeper into the Secrets. There are still more questions that need answers in the darkness and still more memories that long to be revealed.

What causes pain? What causes one to retreat from the world? What causes one to desire eternal slumber? The pains of the past can dictate and command the future. You must face the past, face the pain, to claim the future that you desire.

Lady Sacra sees a future for her family, a future away from pain, and a future away from the suffering that has followed them from the shadows of the past.

Betrayal… to be betrayed, especially by a close friend, is the most diabolical and sinister act. To betray a friend, to betray yourself, to be betrayed… it is an act that takes a part of your soul.. It takes something from you. The act of betrayal is the most deplorable thing we can do to another. It is the most deplorable thing that can be done to us… What causes people to betray? What do you do when you have been betrayed….?

Betrayal eats away at the soul…

What role did Betrayal play in the fall of Lady Sacra’s Family?

Post your experience below!

[Wynd Runner]

This was an interesting meditation. During the interlude between the point of arriving at the family crypt deep in the mountain and to the point where I was walking the dark hall, I was asked to remember a time of betrayal. I tried to remember a time and could not. I thought to myself, 'oh well, I guess I have not been betrayed.'

The story was interesting for sure. And now, I know why the one demoness did not want to be revived. However knowing more about the party of demons who joined Lord Vulekus and his family in their flight out of the Inner Crypt, I find it more disturbing that he obliterated them all in a previous meditation without giving them a chance.

As the story progressed, I did remember a time I was betrayed. I remembered how in my 20s my ex-wife cheated on me during that marriage when we were supposed to be monogamous. This is actually good because I do not feel any anger, pain, or anything. I feel neutral as if that was another person in another life in a far-away land.

This was a great meditation and story. I look forward to the next installment.

[Astarosche]

Hard Meditation, hard stuff.
When I followed Lady Sacra deeper into the Crypt to the death spere, I felt colder and colder, death energies became like cold shiver, silence and freeze a life - were words I got. The bones and the bodies closed there made me uncomfortable. Normally death is transit and lead to future life/existance. Here not.
More uncomfortable, unsecure nearly fear I felt in the torture chamber, and a rememberance of my soul. I had in mind to stop meditation but unable to move I witnessed terrible things to come. I felt the danger as well in my rootchakra with pain.
Now I know why Lady Sacra's 3. mother do not want to live, with sadness in my heart I gave Lady Sacra the last orb.
Betrayal, in this lifetime I was not betrayed and I did not betrayed myself. I had a good position as a medic and socialworker in a refugee camp, and I had lawyer, because of an NGO I joint. I was not allowed to give contact from the lawyers to my clients/patients. But I did. I was threaten. Then I was involved in a case of a persecuted family, they got the best lawyer and I lost my Job
I had to take a new one intensive care nursing of serious ill children. Others called me stupid, but I did not betrayed myself. The cause of betrayal is mostly threatening and rewarding. And to find torturer, too.
More a society is cruel, more people who betray and torture within it.
I am looking foreward to do Meditation to meet Lord Lucifer, the light bearer.

[Dragonoake]

However knowing more about the party of demons who joined Lord Vulekus and his family in their flight out of the Inner Crypt, I find it more disturbing that he obliterated them all in a previous meditation without giving them a chance.

I'm going to say it wasn't something he had intended to do, otherwise, that memory wouldn't have been securely locked away.
He snapped, lost trust in those around him and lashed out in a blind rage.
If one is plotting against me, how many more might there be? And how many more might suffer because of it?
Let's not find out.

[Dragonoake]

The mad demon knew many secrets of the crypt. He knew about the secret passage out and may very well have known about the hiding place. He seems to have a little too conveniently in the right place at the right time and appears to have been the lynch pin of the whole chain of events.

My mediation focuses on a loaf of bread. It seems fairly ordinary in its orange and white wrapper, but there is something about it that is... Wrong. It hides a secret.
My guess at the moment is to take it as a pun and wonder if there was a bit of courtly love going on behind the scenes with the Lord's son. Perhaps Lady Sacra's father isn't who she thinks it is and the slave could very possibly have known about this...
It might explain a few things

[flywithbats666]

This final meditation was difficult to focus on. My comment on this is a bit scattered, and not as long as it could have been. Just wanted to get this one over with.

All I can manage to get out is, I hated being in this crypt, very uncomfortable being around such carnage, even though the environment was frozen over. I guess there is only so much death I can take? This orb was the hardest to find as well, it wanted to stay hidden.

In my heart, I feel an understanding of why Lady Sacra's mother made her choice.

The torture chamber was sickening and barbaric, I was afraid for my life, the only thing that fueled me were the looks from the others chained in the room, the only human connection we had, a silent decree of making it out, and we did. The eyes convey a lot, body language matters!

The Doctor operating was MAD. To lose oneself in ones work, we are not designed that way. At times maybe our jobs may require us to "check out" or what have you, I repeat, WE ARE NOT DESIGNED TO BE STUCK THAT WAY, we are human BEINGS, not soulless robots that become obsolete. We are not empty one-dimensional shells.

There is SO much more to us than a job title. And the passion he regained, what I tapped into was the the untamed feral burning lust, the thrill of the kill, like an apex predator finally taking down its prey in the primal wild. It is not so concrete, one must savor the emotions that come with it, the sounds, the energy life force being drained. Claiming something for oneself as a means of survival, the cycle of life and death. This is an act not to be observed on the outside, but to take part in. I do not want to bring this part up, but I guess I have to, about the doctor finding passion again for what he did, in his situation, there is some 'give this person what they deserve' type of mindset, but to the extreme (hello torture chamber), life is pain, and no one gets through unscathed, torture chamber or not).


Finally, I just want to say that @Dragonoake I think you are onto something with your comment.

[Kore Serpens]

I am struck by the changes within myself during this mediation; by the pleasure I feel rather then pain, the awareness of the tortured souls calling out to me and my energies responding. There is a deeper awareness of my abilities, of both the life and death force. My twin watches my response and encourages me not to touch as we hear them calling out to us - not yet. Not yet. But I’m finally gaining an understanding of my energy.


What has betrayal taken from you? I Am facing my twin as the question is asked and it surprises me. I’m looking up at her trying to perceive what I’m feeling, what is being revealed. Her face darkens, just a little, but I feel no pain, no rage. I feel only love.

I see a large solid black heart set in her throat. It’s our heart, it is shared. Later I will be able to perceive that it is diamond encrusted - my aspect of our twin heart. But for the moment I just feel love and see the sacred black heart.
Then I understand; self love. That is what they tried to take away.
And I can see the skin tone on her face differently - it changes with my recognition. And her eyes focus differently, as my/our energies are merged and revealed. Life within the Death energies.

They tried to divide my being . To divide my sense of Self and take the love of self away and replace it with hatred. Is that not what any act of betrayal ultimately does? Reduce us and diminish our sense of self?

As I gaze upon my twin that I share my sense of me with, I embrace my darkness, her death force, within my life force. As One. We are not evil. Nor guilty for being what we are. I embrace my tenderness, the life force, with its ability to heal and also the Death force within. We are One, bound by self love.

Their betrayal forced me to go deeper and embrace fully what I am…or lose everything.
They hurt and frightened me but made me stronger. They forced me to embrace the sacred darkness within and to not back away from the killing energies. I love what I am. I protect and defend what I am. The guilt is gone.

[Vackra]

I am more subdued and somber this time, descending downward to meet Lady Sacra. The energies this deep are different. This is an area of sadness and sorrow.

I thought briefly on how it must have felt to take a key off of her dead mother, but since she described it as the easiest to get, I didn’t question it for long.

I stepped into the darkness of the room. Cold and dark was nothing new to me, and neither was Death, but the use of flesh in sculpting the room caught me off guard. That part was a bit uncomfortable, and I felt weird walking on top of it.

I felt chills as the other demon blasted open Lord Vulekus’s secret room. And worse when I saw what the one demoness was holding.

As we made our escape and ran into the Mad Demon, I wished very much that I could warn Lord Vulekus of what was to come. But alas, a memory cannot be changed, and so we moved on.

[Lycana]

The final room with its decay and the mangled bodies everywhere is a testimony to what this meditation will be. Eyes of the dead watching and crying out in their silence. There is something horrible and yet beautiful about them in their suffering as they have become part of the tapestry and architecture of this part of the crypt.

Their silent cries become real screams when I am transported by the orb. The cruelty of the crypt and death is pervasive. I hang from where I'm secured to the wall, watching everything. I am detached as one can be knowing that their fate is to be like that of the one currently suffering, and Lord Vakerus is remote and with an icyness to him. I am not sure at first if this is preferable to glee of the other demon because he is just as ruthless even if he has no passion for it. His passion for his family, his gleeful willingness to destroy for them touch me, however, and I'm happy to accompany him even though danger follows us.

I scream when the demoness screams, the cries of the babe snuffed out beneath the explosions. There is nothing but terror and death surrounding us on all quarters, and I do not trust the crypt lord's smiling slave, even less with the vision that is granted to me. Betrayal is a bitter taste but even worse knowing that it has not end. We have no choice but to continue moving forward together but one betrayal will always lead to another, and he marks Lord Vakerus's destruction and the death of us all in his insane game.

My betrayal that rose to my mind was one of family. Of trusting my family to help me when I needed it the most and leaning on them by traveling across country to return home only to have it suggested by my mother that I go to a homeless shelter... something I could have done where I was at. My sister spoke up for me, but that betrayal that came from my mother bit deep and I was never able to really trust her whenever she opens her hand to offer something. after that.
Betrayal rips away the foundations of trust and the wise to listen to their inner council when it comes to those who betray them so not to give them the opportunity again.

[Kiku]

Tw: depression, past reference to unalive and self harming

I was greeted by a vision of the deceased Crypt demoness lying in a white dress, in a gorgeous white coffin of glass and marble. Her body is illuminated by the moonlight above her. The mountain ceiling moved aside as if they are afraid to conceal her beauty. She is untouched by time. The final key looked like it was made out of beautiful aura quartz.

I felt the eerie, silent chill of the deepest layer of the Crypt. The walls of the corridor were covered with overgrown brown roots. It was freezing, we could see our own breaths!

The glowing purple and red orb was a comforting sight to see unlike the contorted screaming faces on the walls…

Death was swirling around me like a white wisp, it had many messages for me. “Find the beauty of life, do not waste it.”
“Live a life without regrets, so your next lives won’t have to do it for you.”
“I will only claim you once you lived life to the fullest.” - it was in reference to my past unalive attempts…

I was beyond furious at the mad demon for laying hands on the Crypt demoness, like I felt this protectiveness. I was like a black rage, cursing him out in my mind especially when my suspicions were confirmed that he had betrayed them from the start. I was petrified and frozen in absolute shock by the chaos around me. Just a lot of “oh shit oh shit” looping in my head. Pure flight. Survival instincts completely engaged. The baby… the poor baby. The sister that Lady Sacra lost. At the end of it when I emerged from the room, I got a side hug from E as well as a praise from my own dad.

I was betrayed by a close friend years ago because she said my depression was too much for her. I unfortunately lost my ability to trust others completely, and stopped talking about it to my friends for support if I need it. I fear that I will scare them away or that I am a horrible burden. It had impacted my life from that onward, where years later I did not tell my partner and their family that I was having an urge to self harm until it was too late. I need to stop being afraid of myself and know that there are people who do care for me, and probably share similar experiences. The betrayal from the past scarred me, it made me feel unwanted and a burden. She was a close friend.

E told me that depression is an illness no different than your physical illnesses, and that it is not me when I start “acting up”. It is the depression and that’s where I needed someone to listen to. He says that support and love from friends and family makes the healing process way less painful, on top of the professional help of course.