Nope. Something else. Something more.
Something Special that they wanted me to embrace about myself.
Raj’. “Raj’ is a purple Hellborn. Her rank is a Night Assassin of the Sacred Fire. She understands dark psychology and the art of war. She knows how to get her enemies to expose themselves. She reads their actions and their intent. She is a master of the art of war ….”
Raj’ moves like a panther. She feels smooth, like silk. Like a starless night, no moon, no stars, no sound…. but there she is, watching you. I love this about her.
And she’s sharpening my instincts by being around. Her energy reminds me of my Primal Goddess only, perhaps it’s due to our relationship I’m not certain, but my Primal Divine is so lovingly soft. She’s like a fluffy cat that you adore and simply cannot put down. I’ve felt her anger, I know when her claws come out she’s deadly. But I experience more our loving connection.
Raj’ is different than that. She has that big cat quality and does feel soft…. yet there something else to that silky feeling. It’s more like feeling a soft awareness slipping over you - it draws your attention towards it and you look up ….. and see a great panther staring directly at you. She doesn’t reveal anything…. the energy is soft …. but if she was hunting you there would be no escape. Her eyes tell you that.
I don’t feel threatened. But I feel her nature. I love it. I feel relief in it. She makes me feel at home in my body, my flesh, my instincts….
And she loves French onion soup.
Hi-Tech Cooking Lesson
Crockpot French Onion Soup
4 big onions sliced
1/2 cup butter… or more or less depending on your taste
5 cups beef broth (more or less) i use organic beef bouillon
1/2 cup (or more) dry red wine or you can use Sherry to taste
1 teaspoon dried or fresh thyme/ (optional and 1 bay leaf)
pinch salt and pepper to taste
4 slices French bread (or whatever bread that you have)
Use whatever cheese you like and as much as you like. I used white cheddar
¼ cup grated Parmesan (optional) I forgot to buy some so went without.
You can melt the butter first then put it in the crockpot with the onions
OR take the easy route…..
Put the butter in the Crockpot.
Slice the onions, and toss them in the crock pot on Low with the butter on low on their own to caramelize over night, 10-12 hours.
I used salted butter, so I skipped the salt.
I forgot the pepper.
The next morning, when the onions are ready…..Yeah right…. I got up twice during the night to check them because my crockpot runs hot and I didn’t want them to burn. But overall about 10 to 12 hours cook time to caramelize the onions.
The next morning I threw in the other cooking ingredients to cook for the day. I had no cooking sherry, so I used roughly a 1/2 cup of dry red wine which translates to closer to 1 cup. I added a huge scoop of Organic Beef Bouillon and 5 or 6 cups water. The broth tasted strong enough so I didn’t need to add more bouillon mix….
I left it in the Crockpot for…. I forget how long. Until it looked ready.
So, about another 3 hours. You could leave it longer. If you’re working you could leave it on low for the day to simmer just make certain that there is enough broth so it doesn’t run dry and burn.
When it came to the cheese I was going to fuss and follow a real recipe but Raj’ encouraged me to just be me and trust my cooking instincts. So I did. And whenever I asked her for feedback she always gave me the same response…. “You decide.” Perfect. So I used white cheddar because that’s what I like and had on hand. I was out of Parmesan cheese so skipped it.
And I used a nice fresh bun that I thawed from the freezer, cut in two, toasted, melted cheese on top, and then served it dipped into the soup bowls. One for Raj’ and one for K’ who is connected to her and also an Assassin.
Using the crockpot to let the onions caramelize themselves is just too easy.
And Raj’ and K’ loved it.
Which brings me to Me…. And what’s sooo special about Me?
It’s the love in my hands. It’s what I’ve been told before only this time I understand. Raj’ told me that before she came to live with me she knew that I would be a good cook. And I’m thinking… “well I used to be. But I don’t cook big meals anymore. “
But that’s not what she’s meaning. It’s the love in my hands when I cook. And the love in my heart. I actually love cooking for that reason. I can feel the food, I can sense each individual item, and then I sense how they combine and the new essence that they form as they complete the whole that goes into the pot to make the meal. I absolutely love cooking for that reason ; my Heart is open and does all the work while my hands listen….
And if at all possible, someone else does the cleanup.
When she told me that, I could feel it, and I understood what their compliments meant. It’s my specialness. It’s one of the things that I do most naturally. And I bring that feeling sense of love into my art, or touching plants, or patting the cats.
Or finding bones or odd rocks and forming something new out of them.
But cooking has the most flow for me. I can “smell” how the food combines through both my touch, (feeling sense) and taste/smell and my brain gets a complete rest.
And Raj’ tells me that the person who eats my meal benefits from that love running through it from beginning to end. And That is what makes me sooo special, and makes me a great cook.
Morota
Is a spectral demoness and is a hag. She’s been with me a very long time now. She loves caves and actually lives in one with her hellcat who was quite old when I first met her and I believe morota has a second younger hellcat now as well.
‘She loves creating oils, potions and using herbs in her work. She has great knowledge of herbs and their uses and can teach her keeper powerful recipes that can be used in all areas. ‘
I was attracted to her because of her knowledge of herbs and her love of caves. We have that in common. But she’s helped me in ways that I didn’t count on. For instance, in cooking. I hated liver but decided —- what was I thinking? —- that I needed to eat some.
Liver is. The. Most disgusting food on the planet, almost.
So while I was pouring over the cookbooks trying to find a way to disguise that it was liver, along comes Morota

Hi-Tech Recipe
1 Slow Cooker.
1 Hunk of liver.
Butter to taste. (I
Cayenne to taste. ( I use fair amount - 1 tsp upwards to 2tsps)
Chili peppers. (1 tsp.ish)
Ginger to taste ( helps to mask the liver and make the cayenne more tolerable) (1 tsp upwards of 2 Tbs depending upon my mood)
Onions if I feel like it….
It’s not any one thing that makes the recipe a success. It is the (what’s the right word? symbiosis? ) combination that creates the effect.
And Neither ginger nor cayenne has the same effect without the fat mixed in.
You can’t taste the liver with this recipe.
Mind you, tbh, if you’re not used to that amount of cayenne you might not be able to taste anything after eating it. Depending on how you’ve trained your taste buds you may have to tweak the cayenne.
***
But Morota has taught me more than cooking lessons. She knows about sludge and she given me tips re using herbs to help keep them at bay. I never knew you could do that. I knew about burning rosemary for sludge but she’s told me how to use rosemary (& cayenne/ginger) in an oil dressing that I can use as part of meal preparations. I had no idea I could use herbs in delicious/practical ways and intentionally chase away sludge as well. She’s full of secrets.

This is what my Companions have helped me ‘see’ about myself. To not make anything that we do too small to celebrate.
Sometimes the gifts/talents are obvious.
Sometimes, because a particular gift impresses others, we get locked into a commitment that doesn’t really please or serve ourself. We might be a great singer and get lots of attention but prefer to work with wood where no one is watching.
And sometimes the gift sits quietly within. Waiting for us to notice it.
Waiting for us to unwrap and embrace it.
Maybe no one else is impressed by your talent.
But how does it make ***YOU*** feel?
So I wonder. If you are *comfortable with sharing.
What’s sooo *special *about *you that you’re willing to share?