Get lost in the Darkness, Embrace the Ferris wheel of Dark Ascention and be taken o n a mystical and whimsical journey. Soar high above the Carnivale grounds and see where the darkness takes you. Do you feel the call in your heart for dark ascension?
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**Disclaimer*** These meditations contain relaxing sounds and binaural beats. Please do not use them while driving, lifting heavy machinery, or performing any physical task where your attention is needed. Please do not use drugs or alcohol while using these meditations and if you do, you do so at your own risk, S&S and its affiliates assume no liability if any harm will come to you. ****
Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference. - Robert Frost
I step into the carnival and discover that Ryn, my ringmaster, and Ro, my jester are with me. They both have their faces painted black and white, Ryn's like a skull again and Ro like a harlequin with perfectly painted heart shaped lips. While Ryn wears his top hat again, Ryn wear's a Rennaissance style jester hat and costume in black and gold. The bells jingle as he walks and he gives a few exaggerated dancing steps into the dark mist that moves through the carnival. I smile and follow him in. the torchlight of the carnival plays off the dark mist, making the shadows thicker and the dark flames of the torches brighter. The black ferris wheel rises before us and my guide appears briefly to escort us the rest of the way. He smiles and bids me to enjoy myself as the ride master opens the door to cage-like car and I enter it with my companions. They sit on onside across from me, their smiles eerie. All around us black metal twists with gold like an elaborate network of vines.
The ride starts and the car ascends lifting higher and higher and into the dark clouds and fog gathered at the summit. We rise into and disappear from the car. We are in front of a black gothic door and on the door is carved a single blooming rose with a network of knotted vines and roots extending from it. I go to the door and Ryn leans forward and opens it for me. I step inside. The interior is a dark cavern with several steps that leads to a fathomless black pool. There are torches that illuminate the chamber but the pool doesn't reflect any of the light. It is pitch black like a spill of ink and there is a single boat tied by the steps. I go down to the point with my companions and Ryn takes the helm and summons a wind from the deepest part of the cavern. The boat moves, drifting forward and from the water I see restless souls stirring within the water. I am surprised to see them and wonder what dead these are. Their mouths gape in silent cries or moans... I can't tell which. Ro lay son the bottom of the boat and springs wings inviting me to sprawl across him. I laid on him, allowing my fingers to glide through the dark water where I feel an echo of connection with the being inhabiting the lake.
Finally, I see the opposite shore and there is a slab of stone serving as a table. The boat stops and we climb onto the stone platform and approach the altar. There is a huge book open there in the middle of the stone table. I lean forward with my companions to peer at it. I recognize the handwriting. It is my book and there is some sort of spell there. There is a figure of a woman drawn in the center with the tip of a triangle of manifestation at her brow and the bottom at her hips. Energy is shown to circle and cycle, ascending and descending. I turn the page and there is a massive thorny briar that surrounds the woman, the invocation of the dark rose. I can feel the energy rise around me and Ryn and Ro embrace me from either side as suddenly vines crawl up surrounding us. The vines grow and bloom, drawing from me and giving greater and energy to me in turn as they grow and spread. The rooms sink down into the depths but the vines spread like a network of a nervous system black and red through the carnival. I can feel the dark soul of the carnival, it's heartbeat and rhythm and feel connected to all of it as Ryn modifies and plays with the connections. He is a part of them with me, him and Ro, and we breathe together and are one together as the dark carnival breathes through me, giving me sustenance. I am aware of everything within it, every monstrous, every dark flutter, and every thrill and the laughter and celebration fills me from those attending and performing.
Then it is done and we are descending again. Round and round we go before we finally climb off. I step onto the ground and I can still feel the network of energy as I walk into the carnival. And I decide that this very good. Sadly I had to end my visit there and return rather than explore further at this time.
So this one was actually sweet, especially compared to the years before.
So I got in my car, it looked like a dragon boat but the colors were red and green. Before I know it, my high elf hops in with me. I was surprised to see him, as I’ve usually gone alone on the Ferris Wheel.
He teased me about seeming surprised, and joked that I didn't want him to be there. I told him no, that's not it I was just surprised to see him. We reach the top, and he’s still with me. It felt like we were in two places at once, in his darkness and in my darkness.
His darkness on his side was… Himself.
But how his darkness appeared on my side was different, still very him but yet key differences were very in my face. It was fun? It was fun laughing and running around.
We eventually end up back outside of the room and in the car again (more like thrown). We talk and laugh as we go around and around, and eventually descend.
Love spells are just shadow work people refuse to do, and then make it a problem for everyone else.
There is a nighttime festive air to the Càrnivale. There are many demons about yet I am nearly alone when I arrive at the Ferris Wheel. My carriage is muted out and I really can't see it well from the outside. Once tucked in, it appears like a small comfortable and basic carriage.
The door gets me. I am both drawn to it and repelled. The resistance is overcome by focusing on the different aspects. There are gargoyles. There are squiggly carvings that have meaning, mysterious and unknown. It's timeworn, with a reddish hue and dark stains and gnarled parts. Each tiny section is a world unto itself.
The door handle keeps changing as I turn it to step inside. I have to let go of this riddle and just finalize stepping through. It doesn't matter what the handle looks like, I just have to use it.
The world inside is blank.
Belphegore is suddenly there. We look at the blankness, the sheer nothingness together. He offers it to become a waiting room & it is. A tiny, tiny bare waiting room. One chair.
I can see beyond, yet out of reach...a waiting room that has creeks and walking paths.
Belphegore begins to adjust the lenses for my third eye. I can hear clicking sounds reminiscent of the optometrist dialing through lenses.
He talks about the lens we choose to see the world through. He talks about clear, natural lenses that are of our own self.
This consumes the time on my dark journey here. In the process, my heart chackra is highlighted. There are books upon books contained therein.
After descending, I stay for a while. My Elven companion is with me and we look into my heart chackra and find a book about elves. She and I look at it briefly...the cover has energy swirls she likes and puts on herself as earrings!
This meditation starts with my gladiator and my husband, unsurprisingly, since they’ve joined me on all the other journeys. The void kitten, however, is not present. We stand in a void until the locked gates of the carnival come into view. After a few seconds, Matador comes out of the mist to unlock it for us. I ask, offhandedly, why the gates are always locked when I arrive and he mentions something about me being too scared to come on my own. Something to unpack later, I guess.
The cotton candy demon gives us a nod as we pass. I see the funhouse and the walkway of games. At the ferris wheel, the demon who is helping us looks serpentine in nature. Although, I can’t be sure because I’ve never met one before. Either way, he takes my hand and helps me into the cart. Gladiator and I sit on one side while my husband is on the other.
Candles illuminate a space covered in black velvet. I can’t see any of them clearly, but I know there are pictures of loved ones decorating all the walls.
As we ascend, I see water coming in to view. My first thought is of an ocean and, as we get higher, I think I see a castle turret off in the distance. Unfortunately, it’s too dark to make out and all I see is a silhouette.
My door isn’t in darkness. In fact, all I see is bright white light spread out all around me and I remember wondering if it’s the white void. The door itself is simple and surrounded by old stone. Almost like someone removed the door and it’s frame from a castle and set it into the bright white. There’s three steps leading up to it. I don’t see it but I know the color is a faint red. Stepping through, I see lush and dense forest. It takes a few steps for me to wonder if it’s Necrosis in nature. Whether it’s the thought or the place, I’m not sure, but I’m taken to a big, thick tree where I meet my Necrosis / Solar mage. Her title is ‘ Initiate of the Black Blood Tree, ‘ which makes me wonder if that’s where I was transported to.
I sit in the gnarl of its roots and ask for safety. I haven’t felt safe in a very long time, I tell it. Blood starts leaking from the bark, covering my hands. Next is a series of images I don’t fully remember but I do know there’s something about getting tased in the back, King Asmodeus showing up, and my dancer coming from the greenery to take me in her arms for a dance. I felt safe there.
Akelta’s voice about coming back to the ferris wheel startles me back to my body so I don’t continue on to explore the carnival.
" Remember, your words can plant gardens or burn whole forests down. " - Gemma Troy
This must be the most intense meditation I have done in a very long time. I honestly needed to take a day and a few breaths before I was able to sit down to type this out.
The dark ascension was something I sorely needed in a way I can’t even fully express. The darkness is everywhere and I welcome it like an old friend. The carriage I entered looks like an eldritch abomination with a lot of fleshy black tentacles and some vines. It smells like the ocean and it has one of the most comfortable armchairs I’ve ever felt. Up and up and up we go and the more apprehensive I become.
As I prepared to descend from the carriage, I shrug off my flesh suit and I see myself as a skeleton, taking a breath of relief. I step out and find a room that is filled with crawling darkness and a huge gothic looking door. It is from a very dark wood and it has carvings I recognize and don’t at the same time. I step forward and push the door open. I see an empty space, a vacuum with different pockets of spaces floating in between that I teleport to and fro. The first was a library with rows and rows of books that scream, cry or sigh. I walk around it, fingers touching their spines. I spy a worn armchair and desk light in the corner along with a coffee maker where I catch a whiff of my cappuccino, just the way I like it. I teleport myself to the other pocket. It is a huge gothic looking bedroom with a bed and a desk. It seems to shift to my tastes and my current preferences.
The final pocket I teleport to is a huge garden that is dark and stank of death energies (in a good way). Flowers that sighed and whispered and a watering can I used that had no water.
I am still thinking on all this as I ride the carriage all the way down again. For the first time, I was overwhelmed by how LOUD the Carnivale itself and the energies were to me. I was overstimulated from the difference between my space and returning to the Carnivale. I got a caramel apple and magic cotton candy which Floaty Baby my Spectral Carnivale Kitten wanted to play with and I was joined by X (an Immortal I work with that I am not at liberty to name) who set me straight. He is here to help me because like after a while in general I get in my own head and stay there with my idealized version of things. X is here to remind me I need to join the world of the living and to actually live. He compared me to the orchid and the Venus flytrap I have on my desk. I need to be both. That he is here to bridge the gap.
It is going to take me a while to digest the revelations I had this event. I’m changing. Evolving. In more ways than one. And it is time to find balance.
~Faith. Strength. Passion~
"People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life. You just gotta punch back and say ' No THIS is who I am.' You want people to look at you differently? Make them.You want to change things? You have to go out there and change them yourself because there are no Fairy Godmothers in this world."
My wheel lead me to a place of inky darkness where I swam around blissfully until a pretty jarring shift and I was doing various things relating to my different crafts. And other things. All around creative.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright before you hear them speak.
The first time I made this Meditation with my Solar Commander.
The Ferris Wheel took me to somewhere, after the door we travelled through tunnel to a great hall, with darker energies and a throne surrounded with swords
I took seat in a gorgeous mourning dress
I saw darkness and nothingness the Void.
My dark True Self Form came to explain pain leads to suffering but as well to transformation and power, it is Voidal Power.
After a vortex with sorrows, sadness and isolation I can call nothingness and the Void.
Via pain, too
These are the darker side of Voidal Power
The car is ornately carved from a dark reddish wood with a seat carved from what appears to be dark oak wood.
The door has a gothic arch shape and is set into a wall of light-colored stone. It appears to be carved from the same dark wood as the car and has a large heraldic rampant lion carved into it, painted in gold. There was something else carved above the lion, but I either didn't notice, or don't remember what it was.
I open the door and step onto a forest path. The sun shines softly through the trees like it is mid-morning. I look back, and the door is gone, just the forest path behind me.
As I walk down the path, I notice that some of the trees bear fruits that appear to be apples and cherries, and I am reminded that cherries don't grow in Ireland, they grow in France, which could be reference to the Cherry family (my grandpa's relatives) in Waterford, Ireland.
As I walk further down the path, I notice the stone towers of a castle through the trees.
Just then, I hear a piercing cry like a hawk, and I look up to see a green dragon flying overhead.
The perspective shifts and I am soaring over the castle. It takes me a minute to figure out that I am the dragon as I soar over the patchwork of forest and farms in the rolling hills of the river valley and head off towards the mountains beyond.
The perspective shifts again, and I am standing in front of a throne of intricately carved dark reddish wood inset with red velvet embroidered with the same golden lion that was carved into the door. The throne is both empty and occupied by a young man with light brown hair and beard dressed in a red cloak over a tan colored shirt, like the image is flipping back and forth.
The perspective changes again, and I am flying low over a field at tremendous speed before I find myself back on the Ferris wheel
The first step in working miracles is realizing that you can.
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