So this meditation was very different from the first, energy wise. And there was a mystery guest again, and another off in the distance.
The monsters seemed to be happy eating each other, and not even caring. I had weird images popping up throughout this meditation.
Eventually following the doctor to his back liquid pit, I felt like the energy was calming in the tent. Eventually, I stepped into the liquid. I got flashes of strange things leaving me, or trying to leave as if they hated this energy. I felt like the bad energy was almost repulsed by me.
I feel my eyes change, my body change, and my hair change. I stepped over to the mirror "we're zombies now bleh!" said my guest. I had my hair in two loose braids, my body had become stitched and rebuilt. My eyes a horrific glowing green, like a warning. My dress was ragged, yet I was somehow still in heels.
I eventually see my teeth, feeling them as I walked out into the carnival again. But now, some of them seemed very different. The monsters had changed.
Love spells are just shadow work people refuse to do, and then make it a problem for everyone else.
No one joins me this time. It’s as if I’ve been left to my own devices in this version of the carnival. My appearance from the pool looks more like a melted version of myself. One of my wings is cracked and broken, hanging down like it’s holding on for dear life. My hair is disheveled and I’m hunched over. My skin has taken on a greenish tint.
I don’t like walking around all by myself. Discomfort wraps me like a blanket as I creep around the carnival. And, I do mean creep around because I don’t fully believe this transformation has concealed me as the doctor said it would. Yet, each something I come across leaves me be.
Bubbles of reddish black substance crawl along the aisles. I see zombies and flesh horrors I can’t even describe. The tents feel like they’re trying to reach out and grab me, as if they want to suck me into whatever void fills their interior. There’s giant rats that look untouched by whatever is moving through the carnival and I find that pretty interesting.
That green haze still hovers over the ferris wheel and seeing it makes me wonder if the eldritch octopus thing in the sky could somehow be connected to the crypt demons. What would it look like if they tried to take over everything? I suddenly wonder if it’s too easy to blame the mutilation demons just because everything looks all fleshy and bloated.
I walk along the shore at the back of the carnival and notice the water leaves behind an oily film. Looking into it makes me think of the doctor and about illusions. The last time I was here there was a point where I saw green grass. Did that mean all of this was in a bubble. Was someone hidden in one of the tents who caused the carnival to change?
Turning around on the sand, I try to look over the carnival to see if I feel a pull any which way. Maybe the center? Nothing stands out. Something tells me I need to make my way to the center of the carnival, though.
" Remember, your words can plant gardens or burn whole forests down. " - Gemma Troy
The carnivale is so familiar, yet the creatures and the appearance of the grounds are decidedly different.
I experience very little fear as the creatures begin to notice me. I'm realizing I feel disconnected and not fully here.
Dr. Penacktra beckons and I follow him. We enter the tent and I see the pool. I enter the pool and begin to experience changes. I am a large plated demon, with massive shoulders.
While I try to see myself afterwards, I am told that I never actually stepped into the pool. I've just been standing at the edge the whole time. I grasp, this is true. I did not yet step into the pool because I didn't want to. Why would I want to go to a nightmare?
I step into the pool. I want to go to the Nightmare Carnivale. My form changes and mutates. There are large tentacly areas that look similar to the rot on the creatures! But, it is a disguise. I am encased in this suit that appears like the damned and I can see clearly with my own eyes. I don't wander long...for one thing I'm by myself. And for another, I'm still a little dissociated here
Before doing the meditation, I was reading through the different forms and simply knew that Harvester and Fortune Teller were for me. A part of me knew I didn’t have to find out my carnival form because I already knew, but I went anyways for the experience.
The first one to greet me as I stepped into the carnival was my guide. He was tall, like an actual tree. He was like a shadow dressed in a large cloak and hood, his face masked with darkness. I was a bit shocked to see the crawling horde of flesh with their lower halves missing, so I climbed onto my guide like a koala and he simply held me there. Madator made a brief appearance, asked if I was okay, and it was at that point I was reminded that I was safe. I let my feet down and the horde began to avoid me very naturally, as though I were invisible. Madam found me, looking a slight bit annoyed, like what-business-could-you-possibly-have-when-you-already-have-the answer-you-seek. Still, she was kind and humored me, leading me through the grove and to her table.
When I saw the goblet sitting on the corner of the table, I was a bit hesitant to drink and my guide reminded me that I didn’t have to, but the mixture was harmless and that I would “pee it out.” . I drank from the goblet and felt the energy swell within me. Madam then drew a card. “Harvest Moon, the joy and humor in suffering and darkness”. “This is just you, little girl, this is simply your own nature!” She thwacked me on the head with her card and sent me off.
I came back from the meditation giggling
(reposting because of the plague of typos in my first attempt)
We return, the darkness calling to us. I am there again with Ryn and Exit but my guide shows up and takes a protective stance as we observe the chaos of the twisted carnival together. There is the knowledge that we could be discovered at any moment but I'm and unafraid of the monsters there. Darkness seeps into me but it does not disturb me oddly, not even when it begins to shift within me as we follow the diabolist under his mutilated illusion back to his bespelled tent. The black pool within is stark and shiny as a pool of oil, beckoning as we enter. He instructs us to get in so that we can be disguised from the darkness of the carnival.
I step into the oily pool and it slides up along my limbs, covering me rapidly so that my entire body turns black except my colorless face, but that hasn't escaped transformation as my teeth grow sharper and longer and the dark substance covers the top of my head, refashioning my horns into two massive black bony horns forming a sort of crown as they are arc over my head like a jester's split hat with their length and the way they cover over the top of my head, but hard and bony and lacking a cheerful bell at their tips. From my collar two long, almost insectoid, appendages unfold, each equipped with a stinger. I extend them and fold them again in a practiced motion but then I become aware of the twisted flesh down my ribcage and belly where small spines jut. There are larger, more lethal ones on my back. The claws on my hands are long and lethal and a sound of hissing rises around me and I realize that it is from several long, slender, whip-like appendages rising from where they burst on either side of my spin to whip the air. Most are smooth and sleek but there are two slightly larger ones with a flat underside studded with numerous small, sharp spines.
I withdraw so that my companions can likewise cover themselves. My guide, I don't get a clear look at because he has his back to me, but he appears larger and large, thick spines jut out from his back among raised, curved planting and the top of his head is a mess of twisted horns. Ryn, however, looks like a horrific madhatter. His suit is dark violet but almost alive, the shredded parts not really tears but places where the fabric has parted and segments capable of extending and coiling in the air around him. They are responsive to his will and his top hat twisted. His venesian style mask seems to be part of his face now, and a poisonous green light spills from the eyesockets. Exit, however, resembles something like the snake monster from the void except that he is green and his hair is twisted and moving around his head like a gorgon, with massive sharp teeth jutting from between his lips and barbs extending long and sharp from various parts of his shoulders and chest and along his tail of his lower half of his body.
Together we step out into the carnival. Creatures turn to look at us but they give us little note. There are beasts like my void bat that are hunting in small packs, shrieking as they fall upon their prey. I watch them curiously as we pass them but then my attention is stolen by my snake charmer from my own inner carnival. She is no longer how she once looked. Her snake that was wrapped around her has merged into her body, its huge coil disappearing into her torso only to break from it and sink into it again, though the lower half of the tail is free and curls in the air around her. It's neck is attached to her neck, and her face has become more serpentine, her mouth partially open but it then opens further so that I can see the two massive folded fangs extending from the roof of her mouth. Her eyes are enlarged and black and they turn toward me only briefly before dismissing me altogether. I go a little further and see my fortune teller. She is raised high on long segmented limbs where her arms and legs once were and she smiled amid the open gash carved into her face. Her eyes are covered with a red blind and it seems almost to be a part of her face that rises up into almost a crown like structure at the top of her head. She cackles to herself as she sways in place on her limbs as we pass.
I look down at the ground as we walk and I notice long rows that appear to be like a long venus fly trap except that the fleshy tissue rising from the soft, flesh earth and opened wide for its pray doesn't have the same sort of "teeth" as a venus fly trap. Long sharp teeth rise from it designed to cause significant damage and bleed whatever they catch like an iron maiden. These have formed around my laylines, and do not try to threaten me. For some reason I feel motivated that I find a spot that has soil and spread it thick. Where I spread it, I scatter more seed babies, falling from a some sort of gash or natural pocket of flesh. The seeds scatter along the fresh soil and they immediately sprout and rise up and bloom, the fanged mouths of their blossoms gnashing the air as they briefly climb around me lovingly before retreating.
I leave them to their own resources and continue deeper, my eyes occasionally lifting to the massive monsters moving above us. The mist is turning red and suddenly a small group of twisted demons appear walking in long red smocks and wearing tall headdresses that seem almost papal (best description I can think of) as they form a sort of mystical procession, red mist spilling from their sensors. My eyes follow them curiously but suddenly an giant egg unfurls like something from an Alien movie but the creature that rises from it gradually with snaps of its leathery wings isn't an improvement on the movie franchise's egg layers. Half of its body size is comprised of those large wings but the rest of its body is like a maggot or parasite.... its mouth an open tunnel full of teeth. It really looks a little like a winged hook worm except that its body is shorter, fatter, and blunter. It is sightless but its sense of smell is keen, and it rises into the air with a shriek.
At that point I decide I'm done for the time being and return LOL.
While I had a lot of ideas about what my transformed self might look like, what emerged from the pool could be best compared to the monstrous "hybrid" (for lack of a better word) in the movie "The Fly".
When I was being told that this was a world devoid of rules, I got to thinking that "Monstrous" might be the key word here. Asking if that meant that I could change form at will, I was told that yes, I could and that I would still be protected.
The Midway seemed largely deserted other than rows of fleshy Venus Flytraps (not exactly what they reminded me of), so I decided to investigate one of the tents since nobody seems to have looked into that angle.
I pulled back one of the flaps and saw a young woman before being struck hard in the face, knocking me down.
A young man emerged holding a spear and while he didn't look to be one of them, I did, so I figured I wasn't likely to reason with him.
I took the form of a dragon and flew off. Not seeing anything particularly unexpected from that perspective, I flew off to the edge of the Carnival grounds to see if the Cemetary was affected.
There, I found that most of the graves in the section nearest to the carnival were blown out while the rest seemed to be unaffected, supporting the idea that this was a Bubble Universe and the clouds in the sky might well be a manifestation of the bubble
The first step in working miracles is realizing that you can.
I made this Meditation with my Abyssal Angel Warrior.
He can hide his energies nobody noticed
I was curious, what happened?
I followed the doctor to his tent and stepped into this Pool
I felt heavy pulsing energies everywhere.
I became a lost Soul, a prom dress with blood, black hallow eyes where blood dripped out.
The air was thick I looked around but returned soon
My Abyssal Angel Warrior had fun
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. I drank from the goblet and felt the energy swell within me. Madam then drew a card. “Harvest Moon, the joy and humor in suffering and darkness”. “This is just you, little girl, this is simply your own nature!” She thwacked me on the head with her card and sent me off.
