Meditation 5: The Contorted Dollhouse of Subliminal Invasions

[Astarosche]

It is amazing, Dr Secha knows to make dolls.
I am this time dark and cute and sweet and dangerous

[ImpQueen]

Well I didn't want to binge the Carnival Meditations and such. But here I am. Why is it always like this? The world may never know. Personally I blame the ADHD , but then again life has been a utter and complete mess of chaos lately.

I can't sense my Husband as I do this meditation, and Blister is not amused that he is coming with me on this meditation. His haunches raise, and he hisses. He really has taken the form of a cat. I pet the smooth blue hell-born skin he is made from, and ease my fingers over the scars from where he is stitched together. He is not feeding from me now, but he curls back into the sling on my chest and nestles in, and begins to purr. He does not want to do this, but knows I must. I've done this meditation in the past few years to know what is coming, and mentally ping my companions to take Blister and keep him safe when I under go my transformation. I can feel that he does not want to be taken from me, but this place induces fear and he is not comfortable.

I see the two towering Goliath of flesh creatures, and this is where I ping my family to take Blister. He hisses and yowls, slashing out his claws as if to protect me. I find it endearing and I kiss the top of his nekkid little head. He is portalled out a second later, and I let out a scream towards the creatures as I rush towards them. Today I will not go down without a fight.

There is clashing of metal and roars of pain from both parties, before I push past towards the door and slam it behind me with my tail. I am bleeding purple blood and it stings immensely. I take a second to use the sling now to cover my wounds till they stop bleeding, before I follow the meditation.

Darkness is just darkness to me, and while flashes of intrusive thoughts rapid fire in my eyes I try to remain calm. I call to my darkness, and she greets me as an old friend. Wrapping around me like a second skin. My wounds stop bleeding and I can feel a sense of warmth against what feels like impossible cold. It is a relief.

The fleshy room just makes me hungry for hot pot for some reason, and the blood does not really concern me. Being born a woman really does give one some exposure therapy to that kinda thing.

This terror here gets to me, a child alone and crying for attention. For Love. My poor inner child. I call her name, and she hears me , huddled over crying against a teddy bear she runs to me. I catch her in a hug and our darkness wraps around us. Tears I hold back but just barely, as we must keep moving. Hot flashes of adrenaline and panic run down my spine in the physical. Aftercare will most certainly be needed after this meditation.

I hate this part in particular, I always feel so sleepy, and nearly pass out in my chair.

The table is cold, and then warm as if it heats up underneath me. A far away voice tells me that yes, it is being heated. But I can sense it's by my own flesh and blood. I am shedding bones and pounds of flesh and am turning into something that is hard to put into words. Bones jut out, and I feel I am way to many legs and hands and bones all at once. I sort of remind myself of Doc Oc from Spiderman, as bones and arms move out from me as brand new limbs. Two of the new limbs end in jagged sharp bone points. I move slowly, and bring myself down to the ground. I giggle, as my human form hasn't changed much. In fact so much closer to how I look on the astral than on the physical. My eyes glow and my hair is white.

I sigh and laugh, this is my darkness this year? I can't say I'm not surprised. But I continue on pulling my humaniod section back into the air as I move on my new limbs. Quicker than most things in the house, and I could wander safely now if I so desired. But I want to go home. To rest, to comfort Blister, who I can feel frantically trying to look for me.

Darker and Darker, Akelta says, and I know that is my cue that I am almost home free. I just need to keep moving.

The exit feels like a whiplash, and I already miss my new limbs. My wings almost ache painfully as they shift back. I hear meowing and sounds of a cat confused. Boogie and Blister are waiting outside for me, and I pspsps for Blister, who cannot see me. He hears me instantly and comes running. His claws dig into my skin as I catch him, and cradle him close. His purrs are like thunder in my chest, and I begin to cry. My husband catches me before I hit the ground, and tells me that is enough carnival right now and takes me home.