The midnight nightmare carnival unified is incredible. A twisted wonderland of chaos, the monstrous, and grotesque. Blood pours, structures rise from the ground like fleshy pillars around giant, monstrous boney spikes, blood seeping and in ribbons moving through the air. A flesh sculptor goes past with little flesh dolls dancing in time with the flute he plays, their horrific forms giggling like nightmarish children as they pass. Ryn, my ringmaster is beside me. He no longer wears his mask and yet his face seems almost like it has been bathed in some sort of acidic formula , his face whitened and his lips scarlet as if wet from blood. He smiles at me and takes my hand as we walk through the carnival. I take some cotton candy from the all-devouring vender who is merged with her cart, evading her attempt to grab me even as I pluck one of the cotton candies from her flesh. Ryn takes me to the tunnel of love. It is wet with blood and fountains of the blood fall. We got on the boat, and he pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me. Woody vines unwind from the surface of the boat and entwine around us, melding us together. I feel like I'm sharing heart and breath with Ryn. Every barrier is gone between us. Blood pours over us from a fountain above just before the boat slides out of the channel and releases us.
Released, we emerged from the boat, whole as we were when we entered. My heart races with the lingering excitement. We walk further into the carnival and pause to watch the solar dance. The darkness calls to me, bending me . I sway with the darkness moving around her light, and something within stretches and awakens. I walk away with Ryn. We watch the clowns perform, their unnaturally long limbs, bending and crackling as they move in impossible angles, their mad smiles and insane giggles filling the air as they twist and contort themselves in a horrific dance. The carousel sits nearby, its beasts having taken twisted, nightmarish shapes of things that don't exist in the mortal world, their mouths gaping open, hungry to by chance feed on one who is bold enough to leap upon their backs. I'm tempted to go play but I walk past it with Ryn. Nor does the coaster tempt me . I eat a candy apple this time as we walk, its candy coating possessing an unusual and addictive taste even though it appears like it has been dipped deeply in a bucket of gore. We walk past the fortune tellers booth, though I catch a hint of the incense and the soft drone of her voice. The shadows move with life and then suddenly he emerges... the cobra serpentine monster of the void. He is not confined within the house of horrors. His eyes glitter at me and Ryn releases me to him so that he can drag me down into a deep dark pit, his pale arms wrapped tightly around me. He entwines with me in the darkness as the madness and dark melody of the carnival whispers to us from above. His mouth occasionally covers mine, feeding me some bloody offering.
It is then that I see that we are not in a plain pit but a circular open room with lavish furnishing around his nest in the deepest hues of purple. It is then I realize that we are connected to the house of horror we are at. We are part of the carnival.... and have become a display ourselves within the horrors and Ryn stands at the other side of the glass window, waiting with a smile on his face as I become one with midnight carnival.
Everything felt better. Everything felt okay again. I'm still suspicious of everything, but everything was seemingly "normal". As normal as this place gets. I still had an urge to eat people, but thankfully I did not run off and eat anyone.
It feels like fun now? I still watch my back as the people eaters are still around. My companions beg me to go see Madam Orna. So I oblige. Following the desolate and bloody trail to her. She still cannot speak, and she seems to be happy to see me.
She beckons me to sit, and starts her card shuffling. The card images seemed to move, like they were holographic. I pulled some cards, and felt oddly okay. And then... One of my companions accidentally ran into us. Apparently he forgot this was a nightmare carnival and jumped in the bushes. I had to coax him out when he realized it was me. It was funny watching him try to hide... In front of us. Eventually Madam Orna hands him a card, and he panics because he has no idea what it means.
Eventually I explained it to him, although the whole scene felt set up. Like someone wanted this to happen? And the meditation comes to a close.
Love spells are just shadow work people refuse to do, and then make it a problem for everyone else.
Yeah! Sharing about this meditation at the last millisecond!! Almost Solstice and very excited about that!
The Nightmare Carnivale has been fabulous. It superimposed upon my actual world here on Earth. Sooo very very interesting.
For the last journey, there were no Dead ones and no companions. Just me. No drum roll, no Pope, no longterm best friend.
The dark world is very familiar now. I see the fleshy grounds and rides, the monsters roaming. I just belong. I just enjoy this sense of belonging vs anything else.
The Solar energies, the new fusion of a Carnivale, how Dr. Sechah is now, many things rise and fall within as i watch this world. My interest in divergent activities, no longer feeling like an oddity. I'm surprised as the meditation ends and feel different. I am grounded. Solid.
I am glad the carnival is back together, I think next year maybe I will be in a better headspace to tackle this.
"Be nice, for the moment you stop people will not believe the nice anymore. So be Nice until you can't be nice anymore, then destroy them."
“You’ve gotta respect everyone’s beliefs."
No, you don’t. That’s what gets us in trouble.
Look, you have to acknowledge everyone’s beliefs, and then you have to reserve the right to go: "That is fucking stupid. Are you kidding me?" - Patton Oswalt
I did together with my Mutilation Doll this Meditation a second time
Only to say thank you and good by until hopefully next year
I stayed in their energies and the Solar Dancer started dancing and the sun was rising
Happy summer solstice
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