As I walked through the passages, I noticed that some of the passages had water in them, and after a while, I got a pretty good idea of where the next doorway couldn't be because I would have seen it in a previous passage.
Having noticed that some of the doorways stepped down into the next passage, but I didn't think of it as a downward spiral so much as going deeper toward a goal that lay deeper below the surface.
I started to wonder what I was going to find at the center of the labyrinth, imagining a glowing city under a rocky dome surrounded by a Styx-like moat.
When I came to a doorway where I could only see a dark abyss beyond, I took it as a Leap of Faith and jumped into the darkness. At first, it was like I was falling, but then it became for like I was gently floating into the dark abyss.
When I finally touched the bottom, I found myself in a round room with no doorways, just black walls of smooth stone blocks.
I thought about a situation in my explorations of the Sumerian Underworld where there was a large empty room with a passage in and a passage out with a multitude of footprints on the floor that showed that many have passed that way before. Sensing that the way of the many wasn't the path I needed to follow, I gathered up my energy and filled the room with it until a hidden passage appeared. I did the same here and got the same result.
This passage seemed be a long gentle spiral. As I was walking down this passage, the time came to reflect on my life and allow myself to just be. At that time, my cat came and laid on my chest. It occurred to me that while she treasures our time together, she doesn't demand that I drop everything to cater to her. When I am busy with other things, she patiently waits for me to come pick her up as opposed to my last girlfriend who would call every five minutes to see if I was almost home even when I told her I was two-hundred miles away and it would be three or four hours IF I didn't get another Stat call before then.
The first step in working miracles is realizing that you can.
I entered the labyrinth hoping for a transformative change. I was told not to hold any expectations.
The energies flowed as I moved through the labyrinth. I let my thought drift as I wandered. Various memories came and went, judgements and perceptions.
A general feeling and undertone was there asking, 'Who am I? What am I doing here?'
There came a time when thought ceased to exist and I just was.
The light went out; pure darkness. No panic, no worry. Comfort and a deeper understanding . . . one I cannot quite put into words.
I felt like the answers lie in letting go, but what are the questions? I am lost in myself.
"Will you spill the wine
to summon the divine?" Darkness at the Heart of my Love - Ghost
I saw the gold ring from LOTR, and a heavy gold chain landed around my neck. It felt of my families energies, they felt wrong, so I walked away from them, feeling relief as soon as I did. there was stuff lying all over the place, and a warm fire that lured and felt deadly in its promised comfort -- I kept walking.
the journey continued with me finding many things, or having suggestions whispered to me; every thought, every imaging brought the thing to life. I observed my mind but let them all float past. there were whisperings, was I real? did I imagine this? I observed but didn’t make them me, and walked away.
there was a dark area where I saw a dove and a man in white- I moved past him fast enough and heard someone comment that (he wouldn’t be saving anyone.) which was kind of funny, but kinda not.
At one point I sensed my higher self/tfs and I stopped to enjoy a cup of tea/broth with their energies. Something nurturing and real.
The internet kept cutting out. I had the same issue with the last meditation so I waited and eventually continued. during the 5 minute review of my life I saw myself @ a particular time of my life when I had been extremely ill for a number of years. I saw myself gazing back at me and I wrapped my arms around and held myself. we rocked back &forth for a long time.
Then I was shown clips of that time period, much pain @ the time but what I felt now was that the illness was my own method of wandering & being lost. And that my quiet acceptance of my circumstances removed me from a very destructive energy and gave me a new start. It was selflove wrapped in an illness…..
"Good morning. I see the assassins have failed….”
“In the end it doesn't matter who or what you are - only that you've been embraced by all that you've become ... "
This meditation really takes me to some strange places! I'm in the Underworld, the labyrinth is there, I don't want to be left alone. Of course I'm left alone...
As I'm left alone, I reach out & ask Lord Belphegore if he's still there...which he was upon first orientation. Yes, he answers. I see him, his form dark in the dimness.
There's a wash of relief and we start walking. I suddenly don't want to walk or be there, so I stop. We talk about just sitting there. He says it's a bad idea. Look, there are no benches he points out. I sit down on the ground & then am soon up and walking again. The floor was too alive and felt unsafe. I started panicking & worried about Belphegore. Suddenly I wasn't sure it was a good idea he was here...and then the feelings and thoughts washed out and we basically reunited. I had lost sight of him for a bit as I panicked.
He reminded me to focus on the black sphere that either suddenly materialized a few days ago...or that I just noticed for the first time a few days ago...unsure here. I see it in the center of my cranium; and now it pulls out of my body and I hold it in outstretched hands. I can see my way out. The path is clear through the sphere.
About now, I understand I'm stuck here for awhile longer & honestly again just don't want to be. I transition to airglider form and take flight, but there is no way to see ... and then I realize the labyrinth extends up and there's a ceiling. There is no flight out.
So, I finally relaxed and just walked again. I found myself babbling about my family with Belphegore & then my son was there and I launched into a whole long explanation of our family. The conversation lulled, my son was no longer there...and we walked quietly until it was suddenly a new place within the labyrinth.
When I reviewed my life and looked at the future - the basics about now were quick but the conceptualization of a future took some time to form. The most outlandish concept shaped and spoke itself. I would laugh right now if I didn't think I might pursue. There have been many goals and ideas over the past several years and most have just been enticements towards a healthier lifestyle. Incorporating more fun as well as more challenges into my daily routine. I realize I don't care what happens next. Not in a bad way, just realistic. And I'm not concerned about outcomes. It feels right.
Lord Belphegore gives me a gift at the very end. I am really surprised because he showed up and made himself available. I don't feel I did anything to entice him to give me a gift...but we talk about it and agree that I will accept it!
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