I did it! I did the thing! I managed to contact a DL/Goddess and asked her about my future! I haven't posted about this yet, but my newest companion is the Gamaliel vampire from the Carnivale auction event. Consequently, through working with him and the spell/invocation that came with, I've become closer with Gamaliel I suppose. Therefore, I decided it would be appropriate to call Lady Lilith for this study group challenge. I actually no longer remember how I decided this was a good idea; I was originally going to call Marbas and ask about my future in the path of medicine. Somehow I ended up going "nah, let's throw dignity to the wind and contact Lilith about the future of our love life". If you know me, you'd know love is the last thing on my mind. Moreover, I don't really believe in predicting the future because to me, the future is malleable and subject to change. That's why I think I'm so drawn to the occult; here, we can take control.
Either way, I scrounged together a smattering of altar accessories: black candle, sigil of Lilith (the newest design, from "Magister Omega"), white jasmine incense (believe it or not, I had that on hand), frankincense, and onyx (I had an onyx pendulum on hand). I also decided to try this new thing, since my room is warded and cleansed now, where I cast a quick protective circle for smaller scale rituals such as contacting DL's for conversation like this (I would consider consecration, blessing objects, or creating magickals/charms large-scale rituals). I don't know why I did this but I lit a match and drew a circle above my "altar" and said "I cast this circle upon my altar. Nothing is allowed through that I don't not allow through." and to my amazement, the flame actually began to burn downwards and fizzled out when I finished the casting despite not reaching the end of the match stick.
Skipping much, much ahead to when I actually invoked Lilith: I originally tried to invite her over for tea in a tearoom in the other plane but she insisted we speak in my actual apartment instead. I was basically thrown back into consciousness and I decided hey: Let's go back to using the good old pendulum because I can't hear or see spirits. I think Lilith knew this (throughout the whole exchange, she was very... I mean she was very nice but also quite "sassy"? She tells things like it is but with an edge of humour, is what I mean). Whenever I use a pendulum, I always start by asking if the entity I want to contact is here with me and if so, to show a sign. Most times, I don't get anything incredible but I carry on anyway. This time, when I asked if Lilith was here, the incense snapped almost immediately. Then, after asking the calibration questions (is today Monday, is the candle orange, etc.), I'd ask one more time if the spirit I intended to contact is the one responding. I typically just get a "yes" or a "no" swing on the pendulum, but Lilith made a yes and a sound! It sounded like someone knocked on my balcony window - very loud, very distinct, and never happens otherwise (lots of apartments tend to make noises regularly due to it settling, this one is always very quite. Can't even hear the upstairs neighbour).
With Lilith, I was originally going to speak to her about female empowerment and the like - sort of beating around the bush before getting into the task. But then, when I started talking with her, I saw a flash in my vision and I knew immediately it was a sigil. I scrambled for some paper and drew it down:

- 2ofSwords.png (8.02 KiB) Viewed 9134 times
I knew exactly what that was. It's my 2 of Swords. I'm not versed in tarot at all, but I had a quick EXTREMELY unofficial reading over an internet program a few days back which was surprisingly accurate. You see, I am currently seeing two different people at the moment and I am honestly finding it so difficult to choose between them, but not only that I'm wondering if it'll even matter because I'll be leaving this country soon and for the first time in a very long time, I might be sad to leave these people behind. Much like the blindfolded swordswoman, I am very confused right now on many levels. Lilith even made a joke about the two swords being a euphemism for two... well, more "organic" swords so to speak. I explained to her that I would like to ask about my future with these people, I guess, only because it would fulfill the study group task - and I specified, please tell me about my future as you see it now; knowing it is subject to change. She was able to give me insight that with one of them, I had a possible future beyond my leaving. I asked if perhaps my Gamaliel companion could help me with this situation, tell me how to continue alluring them - maybe be more attractive or say sweeter things, but she said no. I was taken aback so I asked if by any chance she herself would be willing to help with this and she said yes. Weird; I'd figured this was too pedestrian and boring for her but she was very eager and helpful! She even gave me specific tips on how to interact with each of them to keep things rolling, so to speak. She then asked me what
I wanted to happen. I had to think for a moment but I told her the truth: I want both of them to harbour as fiery a passion for me as I do for them until we get bored with each other. Not five minutes later, one of them sends me a... "disrobed photograph" despite having been a bit quiet/distant lately. The other one and I had a surprisingly lengthy conversation over text despite his growing aloofness also. Feeling a bit like Jafar, but once again: the future is what you make it.
Sorry for the long post. It was a really neat experience and I wanted to share with everyone. I'm also making the soap for the June study group now; my lab mates are mostly on vacation so I can sneakily use the lab equipment for saponification
