Thank you so much guys for your supportive messages. This has been so healing for me. I have had my range of emotions, but it has been so healing. At the end of the day I am stepping back into my power and reclaiming myself fully. This is one thing I love about this path and S&S I can have those moments when I am raw and Vulnerable. I can open up and express the pains and trials of my own journey. This is one of the beautiful things about this community.
@ Eilana...Thank you so much for this Eilana. You have such a beautiful way with words and this speaks to me so much. To anyone who has been in this situation they all deserve to live their lives empowered without having these people try to hurt and abuse them. Thank you so much. You know I guess that was the biggest fear, that everyone would believe this, even though so much of it is untrue and untrue to the point I can easily prove it! This person didn't train me at all, that they would try to take credit for that is mind blowing. That was a block I had to get over, worrying that people would believe what people said about me. At the end of the day you cannot control what other people do or say, you can only be yourself and those who align with your energies they will see who I am. I can only control me. This actually was a ridiculously empowering moment for me.
@Passchendaele.. Omg that sounds horrible! It is good that you got out of that situation. I know what you mean about how insidious these people are and how they throw hooks out to try to get back into your life. The best thing is to completely ignore them, block them and move on with your life. It so amazing how destructive they can be and I am glad that you were able to break away to. It's so subtle, I just knew things were wrong then when I realized I didn't want to be in this situation I was already sinking. mMy husband, my sister, my mom they all noticed the changed in my behaviour, how I became withdrawn and sunken. It was my mom who called the whole situation, she saw how this person was talking to me and she told me flat out I had to get away from her because that behaviour was not right. I am glad you were able to get away too.
H_Wright wrote:Akelta, you had it right when you talked about raising your vibrations and laughing your way through this. I remember right after you shared that web page that I tried this with my ex. He had me waiting in the Walmart parking lot for 45 minutes to get child support when he knew I was just taking a lunch break from work. I sat there the whole time working on my vibrations. He came up to my car with his wife laughing, singing, smiling and joking, actually dancing. He thought I was going to cause a scene. I laughed, joked, and sang with them. They were stunned silent and he actually had that temple throb thing going on when I left without rage as I usually have for about 2 days every time I am forced to be in contact with him. You got this!!! This man weighed me down for 20 years!! YOU GOT THIS!
This message is so classic narcissist and gas lighting. You see right through it. Leave it behind and go on! Shake off the energy, go take a cleansing bath, hell, make dirt (or snow) angels outside, hug a tree! Whatever you have to do to get this energy off of you and lift yourself up.
Thank you so much H. That is awesome that you were able to raise your vibration and totally shift the outcome! I can imagine the look on his face as you took your power back from the situation, that is awesome! That is exactly it and I am wiser for this. I am moving forward staying in high vibrational energies no matter what people say and do I am just going to be me and raise my state. Yeah I look at it now and am like.. this actually would have worked??? It is nice to see how fare I have come from the girl who was scared of this. You know one thing about me I admit when I crumble. It is all part of this path and walking the LHP, it is part of releasing yourself from the prisons of this world because we are taught we have to be strong and perfect, but it is through our imperfections, and those moments where we trip and fall that true connections are made. I have been having a lot of cleansing baths, they are really nice. I am so ready to take this year with high vibrational empowered energies. I feel like this was a final hook I had to just rip out of me to soar. Now I can be free.
Cor Serpentis wrote:The languaging of this is so familiar that I don't need to read more then a couple of sentences to know to hang up immediately and turn away. It's poison.
When I was growing up someone, I can't remember who, used to always tell me that the 'apple doesn't roll far from the tree.'
How many are there within this community that have found their own path to healing because of your example, Akelta, and your kindness? Your very being speaks for itself and always will.
You are an inspiration and your truth and strength shines out.
I have been pondering false darkness, over the holidays. How false darkness is an energy carried by words and beliefs and that we carry this energy as thoughts when we are unable to discern our personal truth from falsehood.
It corrupts and takes our strength away and yet can fill us with a false sense of power. A false sense of self.
The less able we are to discern our own truth the more vulnerable we are to this false darkness. We constantly need to be lovingly looking after ourselves and making sure the "garbage" gets cleared out.
And that is not an easy thing, nor obvious thing, to learn. Nor is it something that a deceiver can teach.
I am very grateful to your person for all the work you do to help us find our truth and to stand in our own Light.
And the words of this unknown other (unknown to me) reeks of an energy that I grew up with and was soaked in until I can smell them a mile away. It too, speaks for itself.
Thank you so much Cor, your words are so powerful and so healing. It is poison, I completely agree. What you speak of false darkness here is so true. It is so true we need to love ourselves and challenge the labels that others would like to place on us. This is to me the trials of Lucifer, one who fell so far into the darkness, to be villianized and shunned, but to find his truth, find the light that was inside of him all along. It is wisdom this dark journey. Where you find and embrace yourself on a completely new level, a level where you become untouchable. You know yourself so well that no one can place a false label on you.
If anything I will use this to be more of myself, to allow myself to be more vulnerable and show those sides that can be so easily hidden. I want to help more people to rise and get out of these situations and use my own experience. You know I was naive not from lack of reading, but from lack of experience, You have to have your world destroyed and your soul crushed to be able to help others. To be able to show others there is a way out and that there is hope. This experience gave me that. I have experienced fear, pain, sorrow, suffering and from it I hope I can help other. Thank you again.
laalbieglna wrote:The funny thing is, having dealt with an abusive, gaslighting narcissist myself, I don't even have to know you personally to "choose sides" -- like another poster said, I don't have to read more than a few sentences in to see a bullying, abusive, gaslighting horror of a narcissist lashing out at you when you pull the plug and raise yourself out of the mire. They are amazing -- the way they feed off of psychologically abusing and manipulating their victims is extraordinarily clear from how they react when you finally pull the plug, and even more so from how they react when you lose your fear of them and break that chain. Keep doing exactly what you're doing -- this person is powerless over you. All love and healing energies straight at you, Akelta. Thank you for sharing this. I suspect your example is going to help a lot of other people out of abusive relationships and onto a path of healing.
Thank you so much laalbieglna, that is actually something I am realizing, there are lots of other people who have gone through this and understand. I really at one time thought I was alone and had no support, I think that is one of the ways they retain so much control over their victims. I really hope it helps others to break free of their situations and realize that they are not alone. It actually has gotten easier since this. Thank you again!
Inanna wrote:Eilana has done the same for me too, thank you both Akelta and Eilana for being such sweet and supportive friends!
Hugs you! You are very welcome and I agree with Eilana, you do deserve so much better!
I am so proud of you for taking the steps and getting yourself out. You deserve so much better <333
