Satan and Suns

Good afternoon. I've been finding myself a lot through pathwork and I'm at a point where I have no use for what my life amounted to. I don't know what to do next. I learned a lot, but I cannot motivate myself to write it down anymore. I am only human for as much as I need to be. Please, do not allow my words to get next to you. I don't plan on releasing myself from the mortal realm because I still have so much to do for myself and those around me.

I do not have the commodity of attentive individuals. Even disclosing just 15% of my pathwork findings, I feel the recurring notion that I am on such a different plane than those of my generation. All they see is a madman, and I would have believed them except that my conclusions and insights are matters they cannot explain without calling me a madman. I find myself challenging them to the core as I challenged myself. I only wanted to help them recover their sight, but they are seized to the whims of the greater opposition. I am hopeless in that area, but as I progress through my daily life I only accumulate more answers and even more questions.

I hit many revelations but this one may be by far the most defining of my true purpose. I don't know how else to put it out there than this. I will be clear in my reasoning. Please, keep an open mind, please be eager to help because I need it more than I thought I'd ever. I am much more lost than I am certain.

I have intruding suspicion/assurance that I am Samael incarnate. Since early life, ever since I saw in writing the name, I adored it. To my core I identified with it. It meant something to me though I never had a sense to do any legwork in understanding it until late. I do not know how I would be treated following this claim but I can no longer twist and turn in my own head what it could all mean. While working with Lilith, the name comes up vividly, as it did long ago and I took it as a sign that I should bring him into my life at long last. I did some research on him and to my surprise I can entirely relate with him. From his colors, incense, attributes, general posture, moral compass, even eye color. I bawled my eyes out because I thought I finally found a father figure I could take in as a progressive role model. I did some minimal efforts to reach out to him and in response I felt only silence. Everything was silent in fact. My head had an emptiness as I waited and waited.

The only thing I felt trying to provoke him was an immense presence. I didn't think it was him because the presence was already here. But as I called, deafening silence. Only this presence. And the strange part was that the presence wasn't outward at all; it was deep within myself.

As I project the name aloud I find myself being corrected on pronunciation. I feel a vibration when I speak "Shah-mah-Yel". I generally feel this presence and the gifts it brings, I can fill in the blanks if you feel encouraged to ask. The presence is strongest in nature and with animals. The presence is aggressive when in social settings. I am at a constant kept aware of my surroundings. The relation is further denoted in social interactions whether it be a glance into the eyes or full-length conversation.

My intentions are simple. I want to understand this furthermore. Especially if I am wrong or simply misinterpreting it. I need to be derailed before I get carried away because the presence is far too great to spend another day not expanding it. I am open to anything, I just need guidance. An idea I was thinking I and another could try is the other could attempt contacting Samael themselves. I haven't tried everything, but I don't think I can reach him and there's a reason why I don't care to try any further than what I tried already. Seek the court of this great being. Ask for their appearance and match it with my own. I can supply pictures of myself. This is only a suggestion as I'm willing to try anything so long as it can help me understand.

Thank you for attending. I'm done feeling like I have no sense in this world when I haven't lived a moment of my life this... aware!!
I do not know what's in store for me but I do know that Samael was expected a human reincarnation within this century. Come as you are, for this is who I am and I have so much ground to cover. If you're curious at reaching an end goal with me of this, take that encouragement as intuitive. I come to be educated and I will expect no less from the family I may not know at all but I feel the strongest connection with.

Okay so i have been warned to not necessarily engage with this however, i would suggest if you havent already reading https://satanandsuns.com/blog/exploring ... ark-lords/

Looking into otherkin, may also be an option, there is some phenomena on BALG forums about engaging in divinity in a certain way, that you entrain very heavily with the being as a way of learning and bettering yourself, but it can be very easily misunderstood. Most often beings in human sphere which claim to be a certain well known being, if they actually are which is very rare, are at most a shard of the being, not the being in totality. This is most often mentioned to be found out by delving into past life work. The way this has been explained to me is that, their energy resonates so heavily with a certain aspect of the divine being, that it has become very entrained with them ( which is the shard) but isnt actually them ( the divine being). Otherkin notion of shards is that it is an aspect of the being who has split of from the main and embeded itself in the mortal. I do not really necessarily agree with that, as it doesnt seem necessarily like there would be a reason for the divine Being to do so. But it is still a slight possibility, as we do not speak for Nor know the minds of the divine.

As for your specific situation, I do not believe you are Samael incarnate, he may have stepped forward to guide you in some way. Maybe even in a very strong mentoring role, also as you work quite closely with lilith, perhaps he and the nature of the being he is, have lessons from which you resonate and learn with. In some ways it can be archtypal too. Also feeling like you resonate with some aspects of him is fine, like that means that you resonate with him and are drawn to him, but that does not mean you are him. You mentioned you only minimally tried to contact him. Perhaps trying different means or methods. have you read sns blog post on Samael? As that may suggest other ways to contact him. I would also be careful (especially if you look into BALG -which is considered in general not a good source and a bit cringeworthy - but it has spoken about similar things) of letting your ego rule Your viewpoint too. Within the sns paradigm the OSW dark lords and ladies do not incarnate On earthen. If there is such a thing at all, which i dont personally think there is, but again many things are possible, it is more likely to be ISW being. However that being said there are many mysteries out there, but healthy skepticism And discernment when looking into such things and especially when delving into your own nature as well is a must on this path. Overall i would suggest looking into other ways to make contact. In My work with Lord Samael his presence is quite heavy and dark like the night but comforting too. Also remember that these beings are multifaceted And multidimensional as well. They are Rather vast in their natures and energy too. I would also suggest please be wary of making such claims as this amongst people who work with these beings and honour them as it could be at times if considered Realistic, to be seeking attention and the honour that is bestowed upon these other beings, which again is quite uncomfortable for many.

Heretique wrote: ↑

Sun Aug 23, 2020 5:34 pm

Okay so i have been warned to not necessarily engage with this however, i would suggest if you havent already reading https://satanandsuns.com/blog/exploring ... ark-lords/

Looking into otherkin, may also be an option, there is some phenomena on BALG forums about engaging in divinity in a certain way, that you entrain very heavily with the being as a way of learning and bettering yourself, but it can be very easily misunderstood. Most often beings in human sphere which claim to be a certain well known being, if they actually are which is very rare, are at most a shard of the being, not the being in totality. This is most often mentioned to be found out by delving into past life work. The way this has been explained to me is that, their energy resonates so heavily with a certain aspect of the divine being, that it has become very entrained with them ( which is the shard) but isnt actually them ( the divine being). Otherkin notion of shards is that it is an aspect of the being who has split of from the main and embeded itself in the mortal. I do not really necessarily agree with that, as it doesnt seem necessarily like there would be a reason for the divine Being to do so. But it is still a slight possibility, as we do not speak for Nor know the minds of the divine.

As for your specific situation, I do not believe you are Samael incarnate, he may have stepped forward to guide you in some way. Maybe even in a very strong mentoring role, also as you work quite closely with lilith, perhaps he and the nature of the being he is, have lessons from which you resonate and learn with. In some ways it can be archtypal too. Also feeling like you resonate with some aspects of him is fine, like that means that you resonate with him and are drawn to him, but that does not mean you are him. You mentioned you only minimally tried to contact him. Perhaps trying different means or methods. have you read sns blog post on Samael? As that may suggest other ways to contact him. I would also be careful (especially if you look into BALG -which is considered in general not a good source and a bit cringeworthy - but it has spoken about similar things) of letting your ego rule Your viewpoint too. Within the sns paradigm the OSW dark lords and ladies do not incarnate On earthen. If there is such a thing at all, which i dont personally think there is, but again many things are possible, it is more likely to be ISW being. However that being said there are many mysteries out there, but healthy skepticism And discernment when looking into such things and especially when delving into your own nature as well is a must on this path. Overall i would suggest looking into other ways to make contact. In My work with Lord Samael his presence is quite heavy and dark like the night but comforting too. Also remember that these beings are multifaceted And multidimensional as well. They are Rather vast in their natures and energy too. I would also suggest please be wary of making such claims as this amongst people who work with these beings and honour them as it could be at times if considered Realistic, to be seeking attention and the honour that is bestowed upon these other beings, which again is quite uncomfortable for many.

Thank you, Heretique for your reply. I apologize if I am at this point becoming a nuisance. I wouldn't wish disrespect against any of the forum nor the spirits in query. I am a recovering addict of mainly stimulants... with that said ever since Lilith accosted me I haven't been the same, dare I say I never felt this way before. Lady really socked me a full-course taste of what it was that I was searching for in my life and how I should attain it. This is personal of course but your assessments over my several blind-eyed posts do help me broaden the lesson furthermore. I'm still training myself for identifying which is which, who's who; my head traffic is constant. I have a tendency to fill in the blanks so that sometimes leads to frustrating translation errors.

Funny you mention BALG. I found that blasted forum while searching for interpretations on physical messages. Save for one particular individual who truly helped me in deciding what to keep and what to let go of I had a profound distaste for the community for apparent reasons you surely already know of. Back when I was last involved devoutly with demonic entities I never fetishised them. A close friend did and even this made me give some heavy space in the relationship. I loved them close as family, of course and it's not exactly so far out of the spectrum of possible bonding techniques... though such intimacies should be sacred, should they not? Instead the forum really turned it into a game of "who caught the bigger fish". I could not respectably find home there though at the time they were all I had... ever. Until S&S!!!

It wasn't until I found S&S's page on Samael that I learned how identical I am with him. I really don't know what to make of it besides your suggesting to do some past life exploration. I already had a lot of his preferred incense (as I love them too) which I burn every so often. What Samael does for his patrons I've done for friends and family unknowingly so it must be that I possess a fragment, a shard... something. There's a lot of work to beget. Above all else though, thank you. I understand now where my efforts should be directed towards!

I still feel that it is jumping to conclusions that you are a shard or are Samael. You also mentioned that you feel you act in similar ways. When a being guides us sometimes we can act in very similar ways to them. Sometimes acting in similar ways can in itself be a guide to begin connecting and working with the being. For example my Patron is Setekh, and in what i do i sometimes act very much like him and because we are so close my energies are influenced, by him, i too like and am drawn to similar things that he is as well, but this still does not mean i am him. Like our energies can be very intertwined and resonant, think of it like a cloud of his energy over me and infusing me at times, but even with this and even as beings at their base are energy, it does not mean that at any point I am actually him. I do think in this case you are being drawn to work with Samael perhaps, it can be like this with a calling. At any rate i wish you luck on your journey.

Neodemi wrote: ↑

Mon Aug 24, 2020 2:07 am

It wasn't until I found S&S's page on Samael that I learned how identical I am with him. I really don't know what to make of it besides your suggesting to do some past life exploration. I already had a lot of his preferred incense (as I love them too) which I burn every so often. What Samael does for his patrons I've done for friends and family unknowingly so it must be that I possess a fragment, a shard... something. There's a lot of work to beget. Above all else though, thank you. I understand now where my efforts should be directed towards!

Anyone or anywhere providing a description of Samael, regardless of how well they know this presence (and I am very close with this presence, I am including myself and anything I could have ever said about him in this), is not giving you the full picture of the deity, cannot possibly give you the full picture of the deity, and is not providing anything of true bearing to your own connection to the deity.
Finding you have a lot of things in common with a list of associations dictated by another human being = you just have something in common with a list of associations dictated by another human being.

Liking the same stones, scents, colors, etc. as this being, or having a similar appearance to one manifestation one person in the world had, or resonating with commonly attributed traits to Samael's presence based on the limited experience of a handful of practitioners, is such a superficial way of determining you have anything in common with this presence let alone that you're part of his soul.
All of the things you feel a connection to could possibly be cues to let you know to pursue Samael for guidance in some way, and that should be considered grandiose enough of an event on its own. You're very lost right now and you're on the winding path of self-re-discovery which leads into dissolution of what you're projecting yourself as, and acceptance of the genuine self obscured by that.
This is the sort of position one finds themselves in when Samael comes into the picture on a 'left handed' path. If you don't remain open to what he actually has to show you, and continue to assert this notion of what you believe might be going on, then you're going to miss the actual substance of why he appeared. He is the kind of presence which forces you to surrender entirely to what you do not know.

Heretique has already touched on this but I want to reinforce again that a lot of people who have -insert whatever god here- as a patron, can identify with that patron and act from a similar place to that patron immortal; this is incredibly the norm and it doesn't make them one and the same or part of that patron, it just means they have formed a pact on some level with that presence to act on that presence's behalf (to honor them and what they stand for). In your case it's something you feel you're stumbling into without full awareness, but may simply be a calling to pursue the connection and see if he may be a patron for you.

I feel like your entire mindset behind this is placing far too much pressure on the connection you feel with Samael. You don't need to get to the bottom of anything or actively investigate a connection when it comes up. You need to let it unfurl itself organically so you can understand it properly. Jumping to conclusions before it has finished unfurling is a way you will stagnate it from going any further.