Why do I look like my childhood self in meditation?

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saelstown
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Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2021 11:46 am
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Hello everyone, it's Sael. I hope you're doing excellently this week.

I think the title is self-explanatory, but I'll give a bit of context.

As I've gotten back into meditation slowly, I'm noticing a recurring pattern in that when I do a lengthy meditation say to visit a place or even visit beings, I almost always look like a childhood version of myself. This seems to happen especially when I've visited demonic realms or have met with different DLs. If memory serves, I first noticed this when I did the S&S meditation to meet with Lord Satan. It might've happened before this too, but details in meditation are difficult to recall for me. This one was short however yet more vivid, so I noticed it clearly and remembered. I looked very similar to how I did when I was 8 years old, I even have a picture of myself from that time in which I look the exact same but with some differences. I'm usually a bit taller in these meditations, also paler for some reason even though in real life I'm not all that pale. I'm usually wearing this plain black dress or robe reaching my knees, and usually I'm barefoot as well.

A little while ago I wanted to try the necrosis realm meditations that are up on the forum, and once again, I looked the exact same way. I only changed slightly after receiving my attunement from Lady Mystica, only my outfit changed and I wore a slightly more regal looking black robe, but everything else remained and I was still barefoot.

I have tried altering my appearance before in meditation, but it's quite difficult as I already struggle focusing in meditation and visualization as is. But when I just let my appearance appear as default, that's almost always how I look, especially when interacting with the demonic divine.

It's possible there's no real significance to it, but I'm posting in case it's something important to pay attention to. Let me know if you've had a similar experience or have any ideas for what it might signify for me.

Thank you and dark blessings!

Sael
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