Satan and Suns

Thank you so much SNS Coven for this event! I love that it's hosted annually. Carnivale has been a catalyst for alot of personal growth and development. Plus, Ey', my Mutilation Death Cat companion, is from Carnivale so we love enjoying it together now!!

I've noticed that I'm not walking through the gates this year but rather being plopped right into the middle of the Carnaval.
I have a suspicion that I'm going to be spending a lot more time there than I have in years past, and I'm thinking it might be the ideal place to explore some of the concepts I've been thinking about in the past couple weeks. Whether I remember enough of those experiences to post any of them here remains to be seen since I have a tendency not to remember much once I go into trance.

It's been a heck of a weekend, and so I decided that after work I am finally going to complete some items off the bingo sheet. It was actually a bit harder than anticipated, my movies I wanted to watch or books I had to read I did not have readily available and had to go on a lil carnivale hunt of my own to find them.

I've taken the rest of the night as a self care night , have loaded up my movie and get comfortable in my bed. I spent a good portion of the night working on my bingo sheet, doing it up as it's own altar. I've only gotten so far with it, but I shall be delighted to share later when I have done it up a bit more.

It was a pain in the neck figuring out what I could draw that fit the themes and still let me see the boxes xD I do want to complete it afterall!

First experience post! More to come!

So this post is about my shopping experience for my altar. I am finally building one!

So every year I always go window shopping for carnival altar stuff, but nothing ever screams buy me! Take me home! Your demons will over me! Until this year.

I originally was going to buy some clown squishmallows I've been wanting, but hesitated (they were on lightning deal and was just going to plop them in with my dad's birthday presents.) One of my companions suggested to look up carousels . So I did, and the first thing that popped up just, jumped out at me! It was this beautiful carousel with these adorable little horses, it even plays "You are my Sunshine". I *had* to have it. I have never felt that, aggressive? Over a snow globe in my life .

I can't wait to build an altar with it! Pictures to come soon!

"I'm happy to share this personal experience I've been having since I began doing this meditation with the carnival. I'm beginning to get more in tune with my subconscious mind, as the vision of the energies of the carnival opens up itself. Every time I do the meditation, the experiences are becoming clearer to me about the carnival, as if all this is happening in my subconscious mind, and it's even getting more exciting. As I came to discover that the carnival has been happening in my subconscious mind, I don't need to stress myself out finding it; all I do now is calm and relax myself and look within my subconscious – I find it easily.


Looking within myself into the subconscious mind, I feel a great release, as if reality has changed each time I close my eyes, and I'm fully there. I'm grateful for this carnival because I've never felt such closeness with my subconscious mind as I'm experiencing through the carnival. In fact, every time I close my eyes and try to look within into the subconscious mind, I find the images and visions of the carnival vivid. I see and understand now that the carnival is something happening within the subconscious.


Apart from the carnival, I've also expanded my experience to explore other things beyond the carnival. Thank you for introducing me to the carnival; now I feel more in tune with my subconscious mind, and I can explore further with more practice. I'd like to know if anyone else has felt the same connection with their subconscious mind."

The Càrnivale this year infiltrates my waking hours. Flip side, when I go to do a meditation my wakefulness ceases and I fall asleep.

I don't know if it's part of physical challenges, but my waking and sleeping states have been getting mixed up. As I participate in Càrnivale & read your experiences, i realize this could be part of my spiritual stage happening now. A reflection of whats going on daily Anyways...which I Have known I've been troubled of late. My sleeping and waking Have been all mixed up. I really Have been struggling to gain traction with my spiritual practices. I Really don't know what I want to do with my spiritual gifts and talents. So, yes...I Have been neglecting them in general.

I'm lost. Yet, not totally. I've always been best at navigating through dark, twisted, unmarked trails. Càrnivale calls again & the mystery of the unknown is tantalizing. Meditation 4, the FunHouse, I could see it and I was there. Next thing happening, my daughter was calling my name and ringing the proverbial dinner bell. Which I truly wanted and have been craving a loaded baked potato (home cooked chili), I really did want to do the FunHouse Meditation! Yet, I fell into a deeper sleep and so it was.

It's late, I can't sleep and I am deep in my own feelings and emotions.

I want to escape, to break free, to go somewhere and do something that I actually have somewhat of control over.

It's looking at the carnival experiences I realize I never did the opening meditation. I reread the text a few times, letting myself sink into my chair and enjoy the mood .

I do the chant, and while I do not have a candle lit , I can feel the rainbow energies as they pulse through the air. A new sort of connection to the Carnival is forming, and I'm greatful. I can feel my companions around me getting excited to go and explore with me, but first I have some disney movies I want to watch and a comfort game to play while I hold my buildabear. I feel like Madator would approve.