Satan and Suns

I couldn't find the listing of the Lost Essences (I'm thinking it was probably with the first meditation that I was also never able to find more than a short intro to), but I went ahead and did this meditation anyway.
The only things I remember is that the green liquid reminded me of drinking raw egg whites, and the card itself: The Shifter. The image was dominated by a snake among other images that I don't remember, and what appeared to be a staircase, suggesting that the shifting is not only in form but in realms.

I follow the fortune teller back to her tent, walking among the dark and twisted specters haunting the nightmare carnival. My muti/void guide is at my side while Ryn and Exit follow close by with Ro. She holds up the cup of green liquid and I look down into it. Forming within it I can see the image of the ring master's rotting tophat. I expected this as I felt drawn to that particular card, but the image shifts and a pale face places their finger to their lips shhhh. They lower their hand and their face contorts, their mouth drawing open in a silent scream. There were three that it might have been, the clock work clown was one, and then weeping doll, but the last was the flesh puppeteer. While neither of these perfectly matched what I saw, I examined them and their energy after the meditation and quickly came to realize that it was the puppeteer. Ringmaster and Puppeteer is an interesting combination ... the ruined command and the forced control. Ryn nods with delight. We are both looking forward to seeing more of this. His carnivals are dark and venture into the darkest places, as in my own inner carnival.
Truthfully all of my muti companions are enjoying the energy of this carnival shift and we are all looking forward to seeing where it takes us next, and eager to explore.

I was so surprised it was Madame Orna to greet me. I was looking for Matador, I'm unsure why.

I didn't look at any essences prior to doing the meditation, albeit I've done the Càrnivale Démoniaque enough that subconsciously I pulled the data forward (assuming the essences are same from the Démoniaque Carnivale)

I see it: Jester.
A Jester who is macabre, bloody, pale. With cracks in the skin and smeared makeup. It seems perfect. What's most perfect is the way I feel inside as a Dark Jester. My brain clears, I see well. I feel that I know more than previously.

The Nightmare Carnivale really has settled down and superimposed itself upon my actual life. Its tricky to explain, but I see telltale signs & gotta say it's trippy.

I finally recalled where I saw the Nightmare Essences: in discord in the Event Theater. Sure thing, there's my.essence listed! The Smiling Jester, who has the Curse of Hollow Laughter.

This Meditation I made it with my Chimera Demon Companion, he knows everything monstrous, he has his title Sovereign Evoker of the ghastly flames.
At the Carnivale Nightmare the energies were heavy.
Madness and violent.
Then came Madam Orna
I felt her touch. and my Third Eye started spinning, very strong and intense
Her card changed into a mirror, my eyes became black and blood flew out of my eyes
And then I read Seer.
I had all the time a unsecure feeling and a sense of prediction, violence.