Satan and Suns

The Ritual under the tree cast by the twins were powerful
I felt energies in my rootchakra spinning was risen to sacral chakra to Solar Plexus working with it and to heartchakra and distribute the energies
Well
I plan some events together with Amnesty International and Sea Watch
And I started with first steps joining a Medic Team in Middle Sea area
I will get Support from my Companions

At first, I really couldn't think of anything to celebrate about me.
But then....

Things started coming
I have broken through the bonds of conformity that society places upon me to find who I truly am
I celebrate the beauty all around me and work to create more for all to enjoy
Once I got started, I just kept finding more and more about Me to celebrate

Then the Dark Sun energy activated and became what I can only describe as a golden-black vest that combines the limitless radiant energy with the infinite potential of the Void

I am so happy to spot the twins as the myst recedes , revealing them.
Tekor and Gariah tell me they remember me and I sit in-between them, my arms wrapped round them. they read to me from a large colorful Xmas book and we eat plump coin-shaped chocolates wrapped in the same colorful wrappers as the book cover. the chocolates are scattered on the floor around them.
We giggle and read and eat chocolates.
They ask me what is inside that I desire….. and we laugh bc at that moment my twins peek out, revealing themselves, and Tekor and Gariah shriek and playfully push forward, yanking my chest open trying to see my twins as they dive down deeper inside. One of the twins, not certain if it was Tekor or Gariah, comments as they look inside about the hollow root and how far down it must go.

The energy rises up &up…. @ heart chakra the images shift a bit. I hold the feelings until they blossom revealing the full expression. It’s beautiful and I hold that tenderly.

Twice now I'm interrupted. The first time was during the meditation. It felt as if I got seared by a fiery branding iron. I jumped up and literally fled the room. This second time caused my forum session to timeout and my writing to become lost. And myself to feel a bit frustrated.

Just a little frustrated because after several years, it is much easier to recall information from meditations.

The snowy evening is so lovely in the Noble Realm! I see myself in my gown and mask and I can see the Yule Tree and Demons all about. It's a cheerful and beautiful sight!

This is a difficult and painful request - to envision what brings me joy. I've been searching for months & coming up nearly empty-handed. Some days I don't find anything at all and have accepted that. Perhaps it's what happens to people, this loss of joy and enthusiasm for life. That's what I've contemplated and accepted as part of the experience here.

But something is materializing and I am with demons who care. They actually like me and want me to do well. Tears. The pain is a real thing and there is no way to stop the fresh tears from flowing. I am decidedly unaccustomed to others wanting me to do well. As a matter of fact, I rarely experience this. It's overwhelming and thankfully the meditation keeps moving along & I dont have time to wallow in self-pity.

What I see is a mountain cabin with the freshest air and the most intact wilderness that can be found on earth. My heart melts and the image clears and solidifies. A magnificent location with a manageable and cozy home. All the time to do what's needed and all things I enjoy.

I search for signs of loneliness & instead find confirmation that I belong and there are always ample opportunities for time with others and no actual loneliness to contend with.

The images transition & I see some of my internal make-up. I see the black sphere that is situated near my third eye and takes up most of my cranial space. Haha, that sounds strange but it's there. Undeniably there. It's not my SNS Satanic Orb. I triple checked. It's me. It seems to help me read my primal cycles and have better manageability with those impulses.

I see the primal self and the wilderness sanctuary as congruous. They serve one another to stabilize my energies and grant me time to fully explore the oddities within my DNA. I feel like I could be very happy living remotely and acknowledge the tiny, young me who started walking up into the Rocky Mountains at age 7 hopeful to find this dream. A seven year old has slim chances, which is why I turned back and returned to town. Apparently we are still ready and not so young that we cannot prepare and actually make that a reality.