13 Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do by Amy Morin

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Marosey
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This is a great post. People tend to do this automatically. If they stop to think and realize, they are
sabotaging themselves by these behaviors and stop. They can get far in life. It's great to let go
of things you can't control but people want that. It's good to post these around your work area as reminders.
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Anatel wrote:This is a fantastic article that is worth revisiting over and over!

"Here are the 13 things mentally strong people don't do:

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
Many of life's problems and sorrows are inevitable, but feeling sorry for yourself is a choice. Whether you're struggling to pay your bills or you're dealing with unexplained health problems, indulging in self-pity won't fix your problems. If you're prone to feeling sorry for yourself when the going gets rough, train your brain to exchange self-pity for gratitude. Mentally strong people don't waste their time and energy thinking about the problem, instead they focus on creating a solution.

2. Give Away Their Power
It can be very tempting to blame other people for our problems and circumstances. Thinking things like, "My mother-in-law upsets me," or "My boss makes me feel bad about myself," gives others power over us. Take back your power by accepting full responsibility for how you think, feel, and behave. Empowering yourself is an essential component to building mental strength and creating the kind of life you want.

3. Shy Away From Change
Although we feel safest when we stay within our comfort zones, avoiding new challenges serves as the biggest obstacle to living a full and rich life. Learning to recognize when you avoid change because of the discomfort involved in doing something new could be the first step in a long journey toward improving your life. The more you practice tolerating the discomfort associated with change -- whether it involves taking on a new job or leaving an unhealthy relationship -- the more confident you'll become in your ability to control your future.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can't Control
So often, we worry about all the wrong things. Rather than focus on preparing for the storm, we waste energy wishing the storm wouldn't come. If we invested that same energy into the things we do have control over, we'd be much better prepared for whatever life throws our way. Pay attention to the times when you're tempted to worry about something you can't control -- like the choices other people make or how your competitor behaves -- and devote that energy into something more productive.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others
A lot of people say, "I don't care what other people think," but often that's a defense mechanism meant to shield them from the hurt and pain associated with rejection. People-pleasers come in all forms. Sometimes you can spot one a mile away and at other times, their fear of angering others is deeply rooted. Doing and saying things that may not be met with favor takes courage, but living a truly authentic life requires you to live according to your values, even when your choices aren't popular.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks
We make dozens -- if not hundreds -- of choices every day and with very little time devoted to considering the risks we're taking. Whether we choose to wear a helmet on a bike ride or we decide to take out a mortgage, we often base our choices on our emotions, not the true level of risk. Making decisions based on your level of fear isn't an accurate way to calculate risk. Emotions are often irrational and unreliable. You don't get to be extraordinary without taking risks, and learning how to accurately calculate risk will ensure you're making the best choices.

7. Dwell on the Past
While reflecting on the past and learning from it is a helpful part of building mental strength, ruminating can be harmful. Making peace with the past so you can live for the present and plan for the future can be hard, especially if you've endured a lot of misfortune, but it's a necessary step in becoming your best self.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
It'd be nice to learn enough from each mistake that we'd be guaranteed to never repeat that same mistake twice. But the reality is that we're prone to repeat the same mistakes sometimes. Learning from our mistakes requires humility and a willingness to look for new strategies to become better. Mentally strong people don't hide their mistakes or make excuses for them, instead they use them as opportunities for self-growth.

9. Resent Other People's Success
Watching a co-worker receive a promotion or hearing a friend talk about her achievements can stir up feelings of envy. But resenting other people's success will only interfere with your ability to reach your own goals. When you're secure in our own definition of success, you'll stop envying other people for obtaining their goals and you'll be committed to reaching your dreams.

10. Give Up After Failure
It's normal to feel embarrassed, discouraged, and downright defeated when your first attempts don't work. From a young age, we're often taught that failure is bad, but it's nearly impossible to succeed if you never fail. Mentally strong people view failure as proof that they're pushing themselves to the limits in their efforts to reach their full potential.

11. Fear Alone Time
In today's fast paced world, obtaining a little quiet time often takes a concerted effort. Many people avoid silence and solitude because the lack of activity feels uncomfortable. But time to yourself is an essential component to building mental strength. Mentally strong people create opportunities to be alone with their thoughts, reflect on their progress, and create goals for the future.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything
It's easy to get caught up in feeling a sense of entitlement. But waiting for the world -- or the people in it -- to give you what you think we're owed isn't a helpful life strategy. If you're busy trying to take what you think you deserve, you won't have any time to focus on all that you have to give. And everyone has gifts that can be shared, regardless of whether they've gotten a "fair deal" in life.

13. Expect Immediate Results
Wouldn't it be nice if everything in life could happen at the touch of a button? We often grow so accustomed to our "no lines, no waiting" world, that our brains begin to believe that everything should happen instantaneously. But self-growth develops at more of a snail's pace, rather than at lightning speed. Whether you're trying to lose weight or develop a more gracious attitude, slow and steady wins the race and expecting immediate results will only lead to disappointment. Mentally strong people know that true change takes time and they're willing to work hard to see results.

The good news is, everyone has the ability to build mental strength. But to do so, you need to develop self-awareness about the self-destructive thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that prevent you from reaching your full potential. Once you recognize areas that need work, committing to mental strength exercises will help you create healthier habits and build mental muscle."
Digging up another old thread this one I can connect to. I myself am guilty of a lot of these specifically 1, 2, 6, 7 and 12.

1) I tend to do this, I used to do it a lot, I throw pity parties and create catastrophes out of my hurt and pain. You know how pain demands to be felt sometimes I demand to feel pain. I thought if I cried over myself and hurt, someone would eventually see that pain and save me somehow. I'm not as bad as I used to be but it's still there.... the pain, still wanting to swallow me whole.

2) I usually take a lot more control over this one then I used to. I would at times blame people at school, my parents and the whole damn world for making me the shy sad little insecure girl I am.... I know see a lot of my mistakes and try and take full responsibility for how I feel towards something. I can very much control every part of myself that is my right, obviously no one else can control me.

6) This one is a big one that I still need to work on a lot. I am comfortable where I'm at in my room exploring the online world and coming on to S&S and making the most of it while I'm here, but it's a big problem because I lack a social life. There's nothing really stopping me just my fear of putting my all in to something, but I need to remind myself that if I want something so badly then it's worth it no matter how badly the outcome may be I need push away my fears and just fuckin go for it. I want an adventure with my spirit family and to make the most out of my limited time here :)

12) I used to believe the world owes me plenty of times because of how bad my life used to be I thought, okay I been through the worst now where's the best....I wanted to desperately have it, I believed it was my birthright to have the world give me everything I ever wanted. The universe responded by giving me a shitload of trials and even more pain, that was it's way of letting me know I have to work for it. I can't expect everything I ever wanted to just be handed to me.

I love this thread and I will take action because these words don't mean crap if I don't do anything about my current situation. I know my power and I'm not as hopeless as I made myself out to be. :devillove:

:ghost:
"Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic" - Frida Kahlo

"You're mad. Bonkers, Off your head... but I'll tell you a secret all the best people are" Alice In Wonderland
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This is an awesome post. At the end you mentioned something about mental exercises. Do you know of any good ones off hand?
The power of the universe lies within. "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" ~Roald Dahl
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Very true, great article!
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Don't Waste Time
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bump
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I’m guilty of doing some of these, especially 4,5 and 7. I’ve been trying to do a better job at catching myself in the moment when I do these sort of things. I’ve definitely noticed an improvement.
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