Often times we come across seekers who are still in the Christian paradigm, "struggling with Christian programming", or have not long left it and are what I refer to as the "Angry Christian" stage. Im not putting the last two in any particular order as it varies from individual to individual.
The "Struggling with Christian Programming" stage is perhaps the toughest. This is the stage where you have basically broken free from the Christian paradigm and may feel drawn to the darker side of things like demons, however that deeply ingrained from childhood programming literally SCREAMS out to you that this is a bad bad very bad thing! Repent! Repent you sinnerrrrr! You're going to go to hell! You are inviting terror and destruction into your life! What if that Demon possesses you? This is the most difficult as you are still struggling with the yokes of the past which are holding you back from the progress of the future. Its completely natural to go through this stage and it WILL pass. I can't tell you how long it will take. I cant tell you what will finally trigger that release of the bungee cords that keep you bouncing back and forth with your inner programming. But I can tell you, it does happen.
I dont come from a background of generations of Occultists. I haven't inherited special powers from ancestors. My grandfather was a Baptist Minister and as such, the rest of my family followed his teachings. Everything I do you better believe I've earned through literal blood, sweat, and tears. My personal grimoires/notebooks come from me and what I've been taught- not from an undiscovered treasure trove in my grandma's attic. I have one aunt on my grandmother's side who was Luciferian. I never got to know her, nor did i inherit any superpowers or spirits from her. Unfortunately, she was excommunicated from my family.
My family, to this day, are not accepting of my path. That being said, they don't know the true scope either. If they did, I am certain, like my great aunt, i would be forever shunned. This is the burden of having a largely Christian family. Many of you have this issue. My advice is this: read, seek your own truth. Don't be showy about it. Keep your head down, find whats right for you and just smile through the family functions. If you have to bow your head to pray, go through the motions but do it to YOUR Gods- or even yourself. On YOUR terms. They don't need to know you aren't praying to their God. And if you have to go to a family function that requires you to go to church to keep appearances (ie weddings, funerals, etc), I promise you now, your head will not start spinning and you won't start spewing green bile. Not that I recommend it because it is quite annoying, but you won't burst into flames. Sometimes we have to do things we don't necessarily want to to keep the peace. Your companions and DLs will not desert you (though don't expect them to go with you).
For me personally, I didn't make the transition from Christianity straight to the LHP. I studied theology for a few years, though not formally. Anatel style- which essentially meant that I asked myself some hard questions, read everything i could get my hands on and researched various religions to find out what they thought and how their perspectives varied from Christianity. I also studied the "Lost Books" , i studied the origins of the bible, why it was produced, who wrote them, who were those books, included and "lost", originally intended for? Do they apply today? Are they literal, letters TO someone, or allegorical? At the end of it, I came out of my study believing in nothing. Literally nothing. I felt betrayed, brainwashed, controlled and let down. I shunned any religious paradigm for a few years. I should point out that neither "God" nor "Jesus" bothered to show up to tell me to just hang on, that I'd been utterly faithful my entire life until that point and that I wasn't wrong. No Angels heroically appeared in white linens surrounded by blinding white light with trumpets in the background telling me to keep the faith. No. It was radio silence. As it had been my entire life with that paradigm. I walked away with a clear conscience, that for me personally, it was all bullshit.
Yet.. here we are, humans. We have this inane desire to believe in something bigger, something more important than ourselves. We LIKE the thought of some Divine beings out there pulling the strings of the world like a master puppeteer. I guess that's why magick appealed to me. It put the power of science and the unknown into my hands. I have always been drawn to it. It was always forbidden in my house. It was "of the devuuuul". Even tarot cards would earn me a rightful place burning in the pits of hell for eternity. But I didn't believe in that anymore. So with a pounding heart and a grin on my face, I purchased Scott Cunningham's "What is Witchcraft?" and my very first Rider Waite Tarot Deck. Gods I felt so rebellious! LOL So deliciously naughty. But then.... i read the book. I touched the cards. My life forever changed. I wasn't being naughty or rebellious. I was empowering myself. I was doing what I was always drawn to. The last of the yokes that bound me to a misogynistic, monotheistic, dis-empowering, sheeple mentality paradigm.. finally broke free. Never to return. I began to believe again... In myself, in the spirit world, in forces greater than us that perhaps HAD no definition... maybe they didn't need it. They just WERE.
So... from an ex christian to now (relatively haha) balanced Satanist for those of you out there going through the very struggles I did, my advice (that and $5 will get you a coffee
) is this: 1) Ask questions. Question EVERYTHING. We are ingrained to just accept accept accept whatever we are told. THIS is your time , your chance to question every single thing you've ever been told to believe. If the explanations you get through talking to someone or your own hard book research doesn't net you the answers that resonate with you, ask more. Look in every direction. Branch out. The world is full of information. Find it.
2) Do not start working right away with demons. Demons will mirror you in many ways. If you are brought up believing they are nasty beasts here to devour our souls, even if you don't fully think that now, your fears will be mirrored in a Demon. Not to scare you but , lessons and all that. WAIT until you are free of those yokes and you can see a Demon for what it is- A divine being that holds great wisdom. If you try to jump too quickly this can lead to many problems including depression, energy depletion, etc. Give yourself time , there's no race here. Wait until you understand the true nature of the Dark Lords, what they offer and most importantly HOW they teach before you go summoning them to test your metal.
3) TAKE YOUR TIME. Don't rush yourself to believe something or switch to Satanism. Forcing will only disturb your natural process of digesting the information you are learning. This could distort things for you and send you in the "too dark too soon" or "Angry Christian" mode (i'll talk about this in another article). Remember this: You do NOT have to believe in ANYTHING if you don't want to! This is YOUR life, YOUR path and don't let anyone tell you any different. Again, time is key. Allow yourself the luxury of exploring whatever the hell you want, including many different religions. Find your truth. You may just find its a mix of everything!
4)Don't let your fear rule you. We have been taught from very early so many deeply ingrained fear tactics to control us- "You'll go to hell if you do this!" "Your soul will face eternal damnation if you...." blah blah blah... ad nauseum. I can tell you all day long "Hell" in the Christian sense is an allegory to keep us in line , however that's something you need to find and believe for yourself. When something scares you and you know its been ingrained in you, talk to someone who's been there. Ask how they got over it. Work through it, face it, and defeat it.
5) Conversely, don't be that idiot that goes all in plunging head first into your perception of "darkness". Learn first what exactly darkness is. Don't go by the emo goth kids stereotypes of soul selling, sacrificing, calling upon "Satan's minions" to do your dirty work. At best you'll look like an asshole to the DL's and your friends. At worst, you'll attract a sludge that will literally eat your energy until there is nothing left of you. Think of how self satisfied those Christians in your life will be when that happens. You've just proven every damn thing they ever said right.
6) Don't spout off to "muggles" that you're now so dark super darrrrk darker than darrrrrrrk darkkkkk.... They wont get it and will probably judge you as a crackpot, weirdo, or at best, someone to steer well clear of. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Silence is golden- even Satan says that. One of my favorite Satanic quotes is this one
“The real satanist is not quite so easily recognized as such”
― Anton Szandor LaVey, The Satanic Bible
I can assure you right now anyone who sees me in RL would not know for one second I'm a Satanist- based on their own misconceptions of what a Satanist actually is. I bake cupcakes for my daughters school functions. I help with bake sales. I attend PTA meetings. I help with charity food drives. I love to wear bright colors, flowery girly patterns, I smile and say hello to everyone i know and can often be seen chatting away in the mornings with the crossing guard, who is also a good friend of mine. You do NOT have to advertise it! Unless ... ya know.. you need the attention, in which case I would say that you should perhaps look into that. I don't hide who or what I am, but i just do not advertise it and I don't have anything to prove to myself or others. I don't need to stand out physically from the crowd. I like being "invisible"
I know there are others, like me, who have made this transition successfully. Feel free to share with us your ways of cutting ties with , or coming to terms with, not just Christianity, but ANY RHP based religion. For those of you who successfully incorporate the two, please feel free to share that also!
youre right it is very damaging. I think forced programming of any religion is a bad thing. But as we get older, we start to question things and through our own searching , are able to find what works for us. The horrors some kids have to endure .... sigh. I remember them telling me at 7 or 8 that "God" sent "Angels of Death" specifically for little kids who didnt obey their parents. I am pretty sure by today's standards that would be considered emotional abuse. It gave me nightmares for years and probably plays a part in my extreme aversion to angels to this day. 
! 
), and though I didn't realize then, it set wheels in motion for me. The other day I stumbled across some LHP material, and one thought led to another and another, and I quickly realized that my higher self was leading me to create a balance between LHP and RHP beliefs, that I need to embrace one to break through the dichotomy of beliefs that often breaks people's strength down. 
