Satan and Suns

Awkward.... I had a dream, yet AGAIN of my crush from my days as a school girl. I woke up again, annoyed, wondering what it could all mean. I never talked to this person, just admired from afar, and never hoped for anything. Always just... Looking from afar. This must have been the hundredth-something time I have seen him. I have no feelings towards him now but every time I'm in the dream and he is there, I'm staring longingly, staring at the possibility in the face and wondering, just wondering. His appearance must represent something else, I decided. I mean, I don't think about him at all and it's been quite a few years, so it must mean something, right?

So I have come to the conclusion that it means yes, there are so many things I want in life but I've only just done that. Want. I haven't done anything or barely did anything to try and get that outcome... It's just an idea, a dream that I taste on my tongue. Like... Just looking about it and thinking about it is good enough for me. I'm stuck in Dreamland without actually realizing, oh wait, I CAN get these things, I just have to put my work into them and somehow everything will work out. I have confidence it will. But yes, this has always been a problem with me, just coming up with ideas, starting some, and if I finish something, WOW I am so happy!!! But all those unfinished rejected ideas that I forgot about but said I wanted to do? Yeah, I want to stop that. So I'll pick them up, polish them off, and do them before I forget again. It's great to have new fresh ideas coming at me from all different directions, but if I keep taking on new projects and never finishing the ones I have now, I'll never get anywhere. Just stare at what I want, all day all the time...

Oh shoot, forgot to mention in addition to my (art) projects, it can apply to my studies (academic and spiritual). Especially about the latter, I am SO SO bad. I do sooooo much reading and reading but very little practice. This month and a little bit next month, I have tons (okay not tons, but tons for me) of rituals and spellwork planned. A lot of it is for my friend, who realized she has a curse on her. It's been there for several lifetimes, so it's going to require a lot of research into it. I've just started looking into her past lives and interpreting any messages in general about her. Also I have Akelta's black magick book that has a curse-breaking ritual in it. (Go buy it, everyone!) To get the results I want, I'll have to do the work consistently. So I think I'll plan a little something every day and that requires *gasp* going to bed early to meditate, not being lazy with circles and grounding, cleansing and shielding, NO COFFEE (had some coffee after breaking the habit. HORRIBLE!!), and just being consistent and doing the things I plan to do that day.

Scheduling your day into a routine is worth a go. If you allocate every hour, including time for browsing etc you would be amazed just how much time is available in your day. Something always comes up, but if you make a timetable and put post it notes on your monitor and calendar alarms in your phone, it can help you to move forwards.

Calin wrote:Scheduling your day into a routine is worth a go. If you allocate every hour, including time for browsing etc you would be amazed just how much time is available in your day. Something always comes up, but if you make a timetable and put post it notes on your monitor and calendar alarms in your phone, it can help you to move forwards.

Thank you Calin! Yes, I started using my planner again these past few days! Not scheduled by the hour, but just a list of things I have to do. I try to be not distracted when I do certain things, but sometimes I go down a rabbit hole and oops- I was supposed to be on YouTube for only a 20 min break. It turned into a 2 hour break! Or... I fell asleep... Sometimes I put on alarms for my meditations on my bed bc more likely than not, I fall asleep (if the music I'm playing in the background is an hour long. Half an hour not so much). I need more discipline and should cut internet time ^^; I just rented a bunch of library books so I can do some research there instead of the internet (and get distracted by a new video or five of my favorite YouTubers).