Why I won’t Validate Deep Connections

[Akelta]

I get asked a lot to validate connections, In fact I have received quite a few emails so I decided to do a post on why this is something that we do not do. I have done this before. I don’t like doing this, and I wont do this anymore. The reason is because I will not be the sole source of someone’s faith and someone’s path. This path is about self discovery and about honouring what is true to your core. It is not about having someone in a position of authority validate your experiences. Aside from the hurt feelings it causes when it is not there, sometimes it can lead to worse situations.

I once had a person I communicated with… They wanted validation of things… they wanted me to tell them things.. I was naive and opened up. I told them things, secret things about my own path, sacred things, which I thought would help them.. Boy was I wrong.. I ended up being the source of this person’s validation on their path. They looked to me and others to validate their path. It was not the truth that was awakened from within…It was constantly seeking reassurance and validation from me. That was a huge problem.

I also started to notice a very disturbing trend… When my validations were not in alignment with what they desired, or if what I said pushed any insecurities, hurt feelings would ensue and there would usually be an incident. I found myself censoring myself, I found myself being very careful with my words. I started to have anxieties over this. My readings and my work became unnatural because I was starting to fear if anything would come back to me as backlash.

It became questions of validation to connections to Dark Lords, soul mate connections and things that I was VERY uncomfortable talking about, because what I got was not what was wanted. I started to flat out say that I would not answer the questions and it led to some horrible situations. I was not speaking my truth and that is one thing that I hate. I hate being censored, especially when stuff that is so personal to me, I have to stay silent about because it might upset another. What happens on my path should not be censored. If someone is so insecure that my revelations on this path upset them, then they should not have asked for my feedback.

I started to enforce boundaries and with that the conflict happened. The divide happened and we parted ways… It was my fault because I should have enforced the boundaries from the beginning and not been the individual’s source of validation at all. Lesson learned. Their path should never have rested on me and what I got. The readings I give should offer guidance and clues, but it should not be the source of validation.

I don’t give a damn who validated anyone, if it goes against what I have experienced and my own experiences, I am not going to validate it. I learned my lessons with this person. It was not fair to me and it was not fair to them. As I go through this I am learning. I am learning how important boundaries are and I am learning how important it is to stand in my own essence and to be true to myself and what insights I receive while on this path.

It was painful and stressful but a valuable lesson. If your truth cannot handle the critical views of others, and needs validation and support of them, it is not much of a truth now is it? Oh I get it. I have had my fallings, I have struggled through the vines and confinements of insecurity. I have walked through my own shadows, and no validation will ever match the power of faith. I also know how painful it is to have insecurities challenged.

I have been there. People will challenge your path, but through that the truth is always learned and you will be stronger for it, even if at times it hurts. Holding onto a delusion will only stunt growth and prevent stepping into truth. Truth is where faith is, and faith is where manifestation is. And when you have that, your world aligns and you get what it is that you desire. This is where I am with my path with the demons. I hear them and am guided by them and the physical manifestations in my life push me forward and show me just how real they are.

It was my faith in them that brought me everything I have and continues to. It was the times I lost faith and trust that I had the bad happen to me. It feels amazing when my coven sisters and I get the same thing. If feels incredible when we have the same revelation, when we have the silly moments that we get the same random stupid word that causes us both to scream with delight… But I cannot look to them for my faith… and in the jaws of my insecurity I would not reveal to the world what I could not take thrown back in my face.

I also would not censor people for their views. Everyone is entitled to their opinion even when it is the complete contradiction to what I have experienced. It doesn’t matter and has no bearing on my path. They know so little about me and so little about my path that I could care less. The proof is in my work with them, not in the validation of others.

Back to the situation, it ended terribly. This person’s feelings and world were built on my validation. It was not built on them and their discoveries. So when others would say different things or add their own views, the upset was there and backlash would come. That is not fair, I am now censored in what I can say and what I can get. Others also run the risk of causing this upset and are censored and not allowed to speak their truth.

When you speak something and are challenged in that view, you should be able to stand in your faith. I don’t care when people flat out call me an idiot, when they attack me and tell me I am stupid and know nothing. I laugh in their face because they don’t have a fraction of what I have, and they know nothing about my path.

I also have had people challenge my views in a very educated way which has allowed me to grow. I am not blind and I don’t cling to a false reality, I have looked at what they have said and realized at times what I was lacking. Sometimes when I professional or someone who walks their own path offers up guidance and wisdom, it can be an incredible opportunity to learn.

I am strong enough in my faith that I can explore when someone tells me I am wrong and I can look at my own shadows and accept the hard truths. Them challenging me allowes me to grow. When people disagree with me I always listen as long as they present what they honestly know. At the end my own beliefs will either be stronger, or I will have learned something new. Either way it is a win win.

When a truth is awakened from within, you don’t need validation from an outside source. You don’t need others to align with you. You know your truth and it walks with you. Someone could tell me everything I do is shit, actually, I regularly get told that. I am stupid, I am wrong, I pronounce the Enns wrong. Everyone has an opinion of me. My life, my existence, the gifts I get from the demons daily are my validation. I don’t need anyone else to validate my path and my connection to it. Anyone can post that I am full of it, that I am wrong, that I am stupid, that I am dumb but none of that matters.

My essence and my power comes from within, and I have the physical proof of my path and my work. I see it everyday manifesting. The Demons say things and it happens They do things and it brings results. This is what happens when you are on the right path. Things fall in line.

I don’t care if anyone believes me. It doesn’t affect me or my work with them in anyway. My sacred connections with them, oh yeah I have had them challenged, but the feelings and the connection are so strong and so undeniable that it doesn’t matter. I have had people try to tell me the Dark Lords say things.. but… I know when these people are telling the truth or not.

It doesn’t impress me when people tell me they hear the Dark Lords, it impresses me when they hear what I heard. I am always open for reflection and I am open for exploration…. But I know my truth and I know my path and I will not be the only reason that someone believes, and I will never again be the only source of validation for someone. The power of belief, that has to come from within.

[user2774653b]

Akelta i can agree with you but partially. First, in my opinion real Truth about the Universe exists. There is only one objective Truth what the Creation is and what is it made of. For example is spiritual world real or not. Are demons real or not. Is the Earth flat or not (ha ha).
People want to know this Truth, but can't realize it because there is always some doubt in them. They just question everything and giving chance to every possibility to be this Truth. Real thing is: homo sapiens isn't sapient enough to reach it. That's why every one of us lives with his different kind of that Truth. That's also why people see many things differently.
So of course, in such seeking-Truth-chaos, there are some of them who aren't sattisfied with only-believe thing, once they see them surrounded with the ones who believe in different truth and explain their truth at really convincing ways, and desperately want to get confirmation of - is their personnal belief maybe real Truth. Simple thing to conclude. Very understandible and clear.

Now the part in which we agree: really nobody has right to accuse you once your truth doesn't match their wish-about-what-should-be-real Truth! That's narrow minded and insulting, because you actually tried to help him with staying at his dream-path. You, who consider your truth as the Real One (am i right?) just wanted him to truly believe in this beautifull spiritual world we all are up for, and to become one with it, completely convinced.
And at the very end - why not!? That world is so colorfull, so amazing, so care taking and illuminating, so powerful and divine. Despite noone can really be 100% is it Real, almost all of us should be really happy to have something eternal and divine like that deep incorporated in our lives.
(But of course, i now said - almost all of us! Some don't even feel need to know anything so why to force them! They are just sattisfied with their humble grounded material existance-truth. And some of people just don't want to admit that demons are helpful beings, so leave them alone too if you don't want your demons divine Name dirty from their swears!)

But here i am talking about those who aren't convinced in anything still, and ready to seek, listen and learn.
They maybe found themselves in the same doubt again after you tried to help, but that's really reason not good enough to insult you. Exactly like you said - they should just tell you "Why you even tried to convince me when you couldn't be able to really know is it going to leave me in same doubts again!" But further accusations and insults for your a bit naive way how to help them are less then low.

I'm sorry to hear that you had to face it, and maybe it's really ok to stop that. At the end of the day - plenty of "doubters" will remain "doubters" till the end of their lives.

[VioletShirokuma]

This is still one of my favorite posts and I feel like I was meant to read it the other day.
Something I wish I gained awareness of back then.
I am someone who has given out divinations to someone I considered a friend in the past... I don't use tools.. and I did it for "free" for her, despite the fact I sold them as services at the time. It got to the point said-friend tried to constantly take advantage of this and would get upset and have a temper whenever I said anything remotely close to the truth because it's not what she wanted to hear. I started to realize I was walking on eggshells for her.. started to realize I was trying to validate what SHE was HOPING for and filtering myself more to make her feel comfortable with her own illusion.
I ended up having to really cut this person out of my life because they became so persistent to the point of toxicity. Not to mention I felt this person didn't truly care about me, but only cared under the guise of trying to get me to be someone she could rely on for a quick reading.

I also share the same belief about not validating 'deep connections' or connections that validate the spiritual tie between another. I always tell folks to be able to navigate their own life.. like you said, "make their own discoveries." I went through my life being able to naturally fall into place finding my past soulmate connection without any guidance or assistance.. so why not them ? Using those with the ability to see into these things as a crux, is something I just can't tolerate.