Article Shared on Discord - Autism and Empathy

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Akelta
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Another Member shared this article on Discord and I thought it was really good. As you know my Son is Autisitc so I am always looking for resources to help me navigate him and the how to help him through this world. I found this article very enlightening.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/autistic- ... eal-story/
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My entire little family is on the spectrum to varying degrees, but it isn’t obvious to those who aren’t looking for it. It is so, so hard to get some neurotypical people to understand how to best interact with neurodivergent people. Just this last Friday, my husband’s bosses had a litany of complaints about his interpersonal interactions that they had clearly let hit critical mass before bringing up with him. When he asked why no one had told him sooner, they told him that the non-verbal cues had been clear. He was never taught these cues, and at almost forty he personally won’t be picking them up. I want more things like this article teaching neurotypical people how to EMPATHIZE with those who experience the world differently. :angrydevil: And, really, if we are all treating each other well enough, we’d realize that’s everyone. The human experience can be a mosaic, if we look hard enough.
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Akelta wrote:
Mon Apr 15, 2019 3:10 pm
Another Member shared this article on Discord and I thought it was really good. As you know my Son is Autisitc so I am always looking for resources to help me navigate him and the how to help him through this world. I found this article very enlightening.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/autistic- ... eal-story/
Thank you for posting this here, otherwise I would have never seen it. My son is autistic as well. He’s 10 and it just takes a lot of empathy and understanding of how an autistic child views the world to guide them in a direction that helps them to grow and flourish in this crazy matrix.
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If I can express things in terms you'll understand, perhaps I can offer some insight

First off, if I don't talk very much, it's because I don't relate to people very well to people. This is especially since my girl friend died, since she was the social one and my only constant connection with humanity.

I exist in a grey area between the world of the woodland creatures and your own, so yours isn't quite real to me. And since your world isn't quite real to me, it's difficult for me to understand how you relate to it and to each other. Once in a while, I'll meet someone I can relate to, but they have a deeper connection and are few and far between

In short, I don't know what people talk about or why they act a certain (illogical to me) way. Think Mr. Spock from the original Star Trek series and his bewilderment in dealing with humans and you'll have a pretty good idea of what I'm saying.

As for me:
I am very much a woodland creature
Give me a Queen Ann in the middle of 200 acres of woodland with only a handful of close friends around, and I'd be good

I am very up-front about things.
I may not say anything if your new hair do looks like you walked through the paint booth at a body shop while they were spraying a car with Kandy Apple Red (And, yes, that has happened.); but if you ask, I'll give you an honest answer.

I am drawn to the unusual.
Whether it be a brown-eyed blonde, a Victorian house, or a hot-rodded Studebaker, the things that stand out are the things that will catch my eye.

I am drawn to Water signs
Why, I'm not sure, especially with their emotionally ruled nature which is often bewildering to me
It might be because I can dissolve in the Water element and commune with them on a deeper level, or it might be because they tend to be more expressive and easier to read

Routine is good
I worked on an assembly line for 24 years, and got really good at doing the same job over and over. But don't make the instructions too rigid. What makes sense to you doesn't always make sense to me, so give me a little room to find the method that works best for me.

Details are good, but only to a point
Let's say you need an engine built for a specific application.
Whether you are going 4-wheeling though the mountains or chasing the class record in the Flying Mile at Bonneville, I can work out the power-band you need, and design and assemble an engine that will do what you want it to do.
No problem
But...
Reading the plugs and fine tuning the carburetor is a job for somebody else
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This is a very interesting article!
I have noticed that among autistic people, empathy is on a spectrum like everything else.

Some autistic people (like my brother) have no empathy at all, and don't see why they should need to. My brother struggles with understanding that the needs and wants of other people are important too, and if he sees someone in pain, his only sympathy with it is that it is something he personally would not like to experience.

I, on the other hand, are one of those autistic people who have an overabundance of empathy to where it becomes detrimental sometimes in my daily life. I can't use twitter, because people use it to be so needlessly cruel, and watching someone else have their day ruined for no reason at all by hateful people ruins my day. My mom likes to say that I let the feelings go all the way to my core all at once.

Autistic symtoms can be so wildly different. Everyone agreed my brother was on the spectrum, but had no idea about me because I'm so different from him. I wasn't aware of the fact that I'd been diagnosed as a child until I was in my 20s, because my mom didn't believe it.

Also, I just realized that the author of the article is themselves autistic! That's great! It's always so wonderful to see people on the spectrum living professional lives. What a great resource, thank you for sharing!
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I really do not have much to add. The article is well thought out. Each member of our family is on the spectrum. Unless I tell people they just think we are an uncaring bunch who show little empathy with others outside of ourselves. Even my parents just say my family are weird or rude / have no manners etc. My parents refuse to believe that our children have ADHD, ODD, SPD & HM this is despite them all have diagnosis from Specialists.

What is evident to us is our ability to mask. It has got us through life, jobs etc. The down side to masking is that it is very exhausting and so when we enter our house we sleep - depending on how much / the intensity of the mask. Masking also means that others do not believe our symptoms - we mask so well.
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I struggle with autism, too. Thank you for this.
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interesting!
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