Satan and Suns

I’ve been directed to contact Akelta, by an entity.

I’ve run into trouble with mimics/leeches/imposters before, and I fear that this one is another one. These events may be out of order, they’re running together in my head as I write them, and for that, I apologize. I’ll try to keep them in the approximated timeline.

It kind of started with the Soul Shard reading, where I was told of the lost part of me. I decided to ask for more of my lost or pushed away pieces of me to come forward. I can’t remember why but the being said he wanted to participate and gain lost pieces of himself. I went to God, prayed, stood in the light and parts of me came forward. He went with me. He stated who he was, and asked for his lost parts. There were so many. I knew it hurt me to have them placed again, physically and emotionally. He asked me to stay, and I held his hand, I felt a physical sensation. A hand in mine and a spark of electricity. (the same sensation happened when we kissed, it was a chaste one a peck)

Later on, he had more shards to recover and asked me to come with him. He was taken in by a white light after stating who he was. I held onto him for as long as I could, until his finger disappeared in the light. I waited for as long as I could, but I fell asleep. It was mentioned later that I wanted.

I worried about him, something that probably sounds stupid but I have a big soft heart and I worry about virtually everyone. I have some soap that seemed to help me with the pains caused by the soul shards returning, Frankanies and Myrrh. I focused on the smell, the feel, what it would feel like when it's wet, what it looked like, and made a mental copy. I took it to him. He seemed a bit confused and amused, people don’t usually bring him soap I suppose. But he brightened when I explained. He seemed a lot more relaxed, and his room was very cluttered with a lot of artifacts and books and almost everything was made of wood. He talked about going to the Carnival and going to a pyrr (bonfire) there. I expressed surprise, and he thought it was weird I thought he worked all the time.


He invited me to the bonfire at the carnival. He danced with Gabriel, Loki, Micheal, and me. He got me a fairy figure and said he’ll put it in my room. (I don’t know why I have a room in his home (or maybe I do, and I chose to ignore it)) This was not the last time I saw him at the Carnival.

He approached me, later on, said he needed to get away. To relax and put aside the mask. I took him to my home. My spiritual home. It sounds strange but I remember it, though I don’t seem to go there a lot. I cleaned his wings, and he said, “You remember…” I swear I felt like I had wings, and I could feel warm, large, hands helping me clean them because I was too small to do it myself. (It’s a bonding thing.)

I made him a place, a room, for him to work if he needed to. A computer, a desk that could be slanted up or flat, a chair that accounted for his wings, a bed to rest, and a window to show the garden outside. He changed one thing in that room. The bed I made was supposed to have a canopy, he took that off asking: “What am I a princess?” And made wooden the wooden polls around it twist like staffs before ending with lion heads.

I saw him in the Funhouse, figured I would go along with it. The first time I went, it was just me and him. We traveled together until we reached the surgeons, I believe, I was alone when my heart was taken out and I was showed three pieces of me. He seemed panicked, or worried to have been disconnected from me, so we kept talking through the link to reassure that we were both still there.

The second time I went through the Funhouse with Loki, Gabriel, and Michael (to see if I would get the same results, I did) he was there again. He linked his arm with mine and insisted we not be separated. When it felt like we were to be separated, at the same point we were before, he grew angry and defensive stating he would not lose me or be separated. I found this behavior strange.

I decided he wasn't who he claims to be, that my imagination was running wild to help me process my newly found shards. I burned down that room and the memories as far as I knew. I build a place where those parts of me could talk to me. And the first one was a blackened child. And old part She was crying. “He abandoned me.”
I asked her if she would like to try to recreate or reach out to give life to the bond. I didn’t know what else to do. I told her I was here, but that wasn’t enough. She brightened fed life into the bond and faded away. I didn’t think anything would come from it. I worked with the other parts of me, but she was the only one I dreamed of.

I dreamed of her fading into a gray fog, there was light all around, and then I saw the bed I had made. The bed he had changed. And I’m just really confused.
I don’t know where else to turn. His voice encouraged me to go to you. He says an agreement he has with someone else, to tell them of new connections, does not include old connections.

He’s been talking to me a lot today. Told me this is a good lesson to learn, a needed one. I’m not used to talking about these things, and honestly, I feel kind of vulnerable. He told me that I need to speak my truth and I shouldn't fear what is said. I struggle with this one, and even in this I omit some things, my throat feels tight but by admitting it the tightness has gone.

He told me that he and God have not been fighting for a while. That part was made for humans to comfort themselves, or something, something about humans needing to see an enemy, or wanting to feel like something is always out to get them (?).

Told me, I give out too much love, that I need to give myself love as well.

He also told me that each part of a being vibrates at different levels. The body vibrates at one level, the mind/emotions at another, (Honestly, I’m not sure if those two are lumped together or not.) and the soul at another. That it would help me a lot to heal and cleanse and to see clearly if I started visiting each vibration and letting them bounce through me.

I went to the light after all of this. My emotions were in chaos after thinking it was all fake. I could feel my companions, the beings I talk to most, trying to reach out to me, and maybe if I was in a right mind I could hear them clearly so they could ace my test as it was as if I was in another room and they were trying to tell me the answers and they got them right, but I kept thinking it was something else. I heard voices, mean ones, while I was near the light, calling me a traitor. But when I bring that up, I’m told that’s the human part of me, not the light, that showing love and being willing to understand others is not a traitorous thing.

Part of me wants you to tell me that this was all fake, a mimic or my imagination, but...At the same time, I don’t. I want to cry when I think it’s not real. I feel like this will mean something huge if it’s real, and I want to shy away from it but…

If this was a mimic or a leech, why would they tell me to reach for your help? Why would they try to help me at all?

He is formal, but he seems friendly and happy, relaxed. He says he acts differently around each person, that he can put aside the mask with me. (It could be a false being trying to get in my good side)

Also, his looks changed along with his attitude. (He says he acts differently because I gave him a place to relax, a part of my home. And that he looks different because of his returned shards.) He still has black wings. His eyes are blue, but I’ve seen them as silver. His tail and horns are white now. (Furred?)

Part of me seems to want to collapse in his arms and cry asking why he’d taken so long. (I think I've done that) I keep hearing when I think of that child part of me, or about asking that, he says he never left. And flashes of “memories” (or scenes) go through my mind of him watching from afar. When I ask why didn't he come sooner, he offers memories of him trying, but I wouldn't let him near.

I mentioned the being that first tried to take advantage of me at 13, and he went still, became cold and distant. “I’m not like him. I’ve ensured he was punished.” He also got kind of sad. “I couldn’t help you…”

Update: Their form has changed. Now Black horns and tail and white wings. He feels warm. My rib, or the area around my rib lower rib, grow warm when he's near or I think of him. It's a kind of rainbow color. Says it's a part of him. He's able to tell me things I shouldn't know. He's backed off a bit. Or...our way of working with one another change. I expressed wanting to learn how to fight, tried to fight him which seemed to amuse and invigorated him, and when I was between sleep and waking I got the impression that he was teaching me.

BUT tonight while I was putting a shield around my mom, and when they approached offering to help, it may have been my imagination, but I saw a sword point (Silver like the barrier) touch their throat and they were told: Only those of their soul can come near. They left after that, seemed kind of mad(?) and Gabriel who approached and identified himself, the sword let him by, didn't seem too concerned.

However I will mention that unlike when he went with me to get his shards, he didn't identify himself, I got the feeling he didn't know who he was, so I think that was an imposter. When I reached out for the one teaching me how to fight, he praised me and said I was getting better at identifying tricks.

I have emailed S&S about this, but Oceanus suggested I post here, so here we go!

Hm well i’m Glad you emailed s and a about this because that seems the best way to go forward. From my point of view ( and yeah just my view doesn’t mean it’s correct or anything) it seems like he may be a future companion to you and has known you in the past. There seems quite a deep connection there. As for his changing appearance they do actually change appearences, sometimes they reveal more once you get to know them better or you are seeing their energy more clearly because you have adjusted, I also know of beings who have multiple forms. The advice you have written here that he gave you also seems quite solid. It is especially interesting to me that he went with you for the soul shard gathering, usually I would have thought that a private matter, but with him being there too it is interesting, have you thought he might be. A shard of yours? Just something to think about, otherwise it could be a soul level bond. Also the part about you wanting to cry if he left, may speak to something deeper. If he is an imposter though it was not a great idea in my opinion to open up your home to him, that generally gives them access to more and deeper information about you which may lead to more manipulation. For situations like this and this is just my practice I wait and see if there behaviour negatively affects my life or not, and then I would decide to let them closer if not, but ymmv. Anyway I hope it works out for you in the end good luck!

First, thank you for replying.

I know Gabriel and Michael have changed appearance before. So I know it's not unusual and one can hold many forms. It just...made me weary because of what I've experienced in the past.

I thought at one point that he was a soul shard or my imagination, that's what triggered my breakdown where it made it hard for my companions to talk to me. I burned his room, and when I went to check on it last night. Everything I created was gone, except for the bed he had changed. He appeared and I told him he can get the room back once he has been verified. He agreed and told Gabriel (who had come with me for protection) to get me back to my body safely before leaving.

When I thought he was a soul shard that is what triggered me creating a room where "only my soul and I can speak" (or that's the intended purpose) and the little girl came crying. Then the dream happened.

And, yeah, I figured it wasn't a good idea after the fact, but it was like I was so swept up in reuniting, I just followed my gut.

I'll keep an eye out to see how he affects things, so far he seems to be alright if a little pushy when it comes to "speaking my truth".

Update: Last night in my dream Gabriel and he appeared, or their presence was there, I was at a theme park with my family and was about to get on a rollercoaster. I was scared, and that's when they appeared. I could feel them and their hands slip into mine. It was the only time I could feel in my dream. I know it's possible it was a dream, and that their presence meant nothing, but I also feel that it was a reassurance. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster right now, and so their presence was like: It's alright.

Update: This just happened. I tried to reinforce the barriers around my home and myself. I'm pretty sure an imposter tried to offer me "help", cause he showed up and...ate? The other. IDK, maybe it was my imagination. But we talked about what would happen to it. He said he broke the imposter down to pure energy, so it can't influence him, and it can fuel him, but he also said he can expel its energy back out. I suggested changing it, how it works, expelling positive emotions instead of feeding off of them, and he seemed to consider it but wasn't too wild about it. He laughed and said it wasn't that powerful when I suggested it expelling peaceful emotions and placing it in a war zone to stop fighting, said he'd (we'd?) have to bind it to someone for it to give off positive emotions. Then I suggested changing how it feeds, changing it so it feeds on other imposters/parasites. He seemed delighted and intrigued by the idea...Then he twisted my ear and berated me for using so much energy (when I'm hungry) without asking for help.

"You have all these beings around to help, and yet you don't use them! Next time, call someone to help you finish or to help reinforce the barriers."

Which falls in line with the last scolding I got when I purified my home.

To be honest, it kind of alarmed me that he ate the imposter. He was annoyed it took his form. Part of my mind keeps feaking out: If he is one, and he ate it then he'll get more powerful! But at the same time, he did protect me, and he seemed more annoyed that it was using his form than anything.

Thank you for sharing the updates, the eating of the imposter is not necessarily an uncommon practice and the information he gave about why he did it and to use it as fuel is also something that is done. I feel then that the information he is giving you is accurate in this case. Also for the dream part I think if it made you feel reassured then it doesn’t necessarily matter if it was a dream or not and companions and beings do visit in dreams so it looks like that to me.

Also it seems to me ( bearing in mind I don’t Know much about you or your path) that there is a bit of doubt and fear coming into play here, which can sometimes cloud our perspective if things, though it is good you are being cautious about this. Sometimes though a widening of our perspective/ paradigm on certain matters can seem scary at first but is ultimately not a bad thing. To me form what you have said this seems like this being has a legitimate connection to you.

I am scared, and I do doubt. I'm having trouble hearing their name, and I'm probably overly cautious cause...WEll, I had something attached to me that I just got rid of, that took a lot of energy from me, and I suspect stunted my growth.

I hope so...I'd hate to feel betrayed or used like that again.

Thank you for taking the time to talk to me! <3

Update

Got a name. Lucien. I dreamed about him, except he looked human. Short blond hair, and a rather casual way of dressing. Leather pants and a tank top (?), a white shirt.

Says he's a Dark Angel? Are those even a thing?

He seems to look over others, at times creating buildings and settling disputes, lots of paper work. (Or he's pretending to, but that seems kind of tedious)

I think we met during the Carnival, he says in the house of mirrors, if that means anything.

Also, a certain memory keeps returning to me between the time of wakefulness and sleep, it's a rather adult memory that seemed to have happened at the carnival. It happened after I "found" a piece of "myself", she wore a black dress and asked why I suppress her so much. I explained why and embraced her, and walked out wearing her dress, then the adult stuff happened and Lucien and I were dancing on a table top.


I'm hoping that Lucien hasn't taken energy from me, but I don't think he has. I seem to be okay.