I feel like I don’t progress

[ysabeau]

Heya Pewds!

So a couple of things that I'd love to chime in?
There were some amazing suggestions, so I leave those alone.

My sister is still living within an Orthodox house, one that means that she could be kicked from the house for having anything occult. She definitely has an altar in her drawer that never gets checked, since it's a bottom one. Another is that she has things out, like candles and fun things but in a way that it would be like a decoration rather than the altar creating. But she is also a minor who has to be careful (and I only mention this because it's about being careful with how you present and practice when around those where you could be in trouble. Think to keep safety first and foremost.)

You are an adult, but sometimes it's hard to have anything out in the open or not at all. Please do take care that you keep your mental health and physical on top of things. Spiritual can come later when you gain that independence. If it is likely that you could suffer if they found out, please make sure that you are safe. I cannot stress that enough.

And don't ever feel ashamed that you have to hide your spiritual path. It is not something to be ashamed of, whether that you practice or believe in it.. or that you don't believe in what they do. Shame is something that can fester, so make sure that you take care of acknowledging and fostering positive confidence in your path and work.

Now, everyone else gave some great advice in regards to that. So I'm going a different route.
Progress.
This one is a hard one, but it is also one that seems stagnant. Take an outside perspective. Grab a notebook that is not conspicuous. One that is not likely to be picked up and flipped through. Progress is hard to see within a small scope. So what I always and highly suggest is to start journaling. It can be anything. From thoughts to snippets of research, to sigils, drawings, info of idea.. you name it. Because in a few months you'll look back and see where you started and how you've developed in your workings. It really helps to get an outside perspective.

[wanderer]

If you wait for the perfect opportunity to start you'll never do anything. Do what you can. Sigils are easy to hide. Chants can be whispered or said with intent in your head. You can do rituals like the lbrp in the bathroom. While laying down seemingly asleep you could be talking to a spirit or whispering chants.

It's not a race. Just do what you can. Doing occult things secretly was how it was done for most of the past 1000 years.