Satan and Suns

Nyctophilia Raven wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 28, 2019 6:46 am

"I have social anxiety and I'm sure you're a great person and what you have to say would be interesting, but my anxiety is acting up right now and I can't hear or see anything beyond that. I need some space please."

thx raven i might try that but it would be very hard for me to actually say that,i dont like telling people have anxiety really.

hoshiyoshido wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 28, 2019 7:33 pm

Nyctophilia Raven wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 28, 2019 6:46 am

"I have social anxiety and I'm sure you're a great person and what you have to say would be interesting, but my anxiety is acting up right now and I can't hear or see anything beyond that. I need some space please."

thx raven i might try that but it would be very hard for me to actually say that,i dont like telling people have anxiety really.

Whether you like saying it or not, it is a fact of your existence, and part of your need for boundaries being met relies on others understanding those boundaries. I didn't like telling people, "sorry if I'm weird, I'm autistic and anxious, please tell me when I mess up so I can fix it, please help me learn."

With autism there's a lot of social context that goes missing. Unwritten rules that are never explained. Micro expressions that say things for people.

When people don't know they're dealing with someone with a limitation, they assume you're just like them, and when you fail those expectations, you pay for it. It's best to tell them up front that their expectations aren't going to be met, and ask for their help to do better. It puts them on your side.

Yes, admitting a difficulty sucks, but... you're not in a wheelchair they can see, so you have to tell them where the wheels are before you run them over with your weird, you know? It's not fair that we with disabilities are always having to be the ones to accommodate, but in a world where disability is a minority issue, in a society that's built to cater to the abled, if you don't speak, you don't exist as anything but a pariah.

Choose your battles. Admitting you need help is hard, but isn't what you're dealing with worse?

If you don't want to feel angry because people keep crossing your boundaries, then you have to verbalize those boundaries, and sometimes explain why they exist, for people to respect them.

It sucks, but it's really that simple.

You're angry because you have anxiety and no one gives you space. Asking for space is weird n some situations, so you have to explain why.

"I am more effective when I am not anxious. This is my boundary. Do not cross it."

Find a better way to say it if you need to... I frequently admit "I don't word good," so there's certainly a better way to say this, but it still needs to be said.

Nyctophilia Raven wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 28, 2019 9:37 pm

If you don't want to feel angry because people keep crossing your boundaries, then you have to verbalize those boundaries, and sometimes explain why they exist, for people to respect them.

It sucks, but it's really that simple.

You're angry because you have anxiety and no one gives you space. Asking for space is weird n some situations, so you have to explain why.

"I am more effective when I am not anxious. This is my boundary. Do not cross it."

Find a better way to say it if you need to... I frequently admit "I don't word good," so there's certainly a better way to say this, but it still needs to be said.

yeh your right.im just really bad at expressing myself and im used to holding in my emotions.ive been doing it since i was little so its just somthing i have to work on.it seems like such a simple thing but for some reason its the hardest thing for me to do.