Walking a New Path with Personal Power

Questions and Answers for where to begin on the Darker Spiritual Paths.

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ysabeau
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Walking a New Path with Personal Power
No More Walking Your Path with Other's Perceptions

So after a lovely conversation on the discord, I felt that this was a beautiful post that should be shared with some of those points that were made.

Starting off on a new path is the hardest. It's scary, it's unknown and even thrilling. There's many things that are pointed out from those who have walked the path too once. It is hard though. You don't know where to begin. You don't know where you are to go or how to even get there. But most of all, you don't know what works for you.

That's the starting point right there.


Learning What Works For You

This is so important yet can be the most easily forgotten in the wake of wanting to just drive forward and do it too. There's stories and experiences that you read from so many others. Now you want that too!

Take a deep breath. This will come in time. Rushing is not good.

What you need to focus on right now, is YOU.
You are the most important person in this whole equation because at the end of the day, this is not their path... it's yours and only yours.

Walking this Path (any and not just LHP), is all about personal growth and experience. It's about where you go with your life, your beliefs, and your desires. But this all depends upon you. You decide where it goes and how much it means to you.

Everyone has different experiences and therefore different perceptions of the same thing.

For those in the back:


Everyone has different experiences and therefore different perceptions of the same thing.

THIS is where YOU will begin to step away and learn what works for you. You are not going to have the same hearing, sight, smells, touch, meditations, visuals, communications, manifestations... as ANYONE else. Because everyone perceives it in a different way, which is why they are stronger for some and not as much for others.

The important thing to understand is that YOU are the boss and student of your own life experiences. You KNOW when things are in your head and when they are not. But trusting yourself is hard and trusting the DISCERNMENT is even harder. So we turn to others to validate our experiences.

Doubt: Be Aware and Be Thoughtful

Onto the second part. Doubt. Doubt Doubt Doubt. Gods that word will make anyone cringe and whimper. It's to be expected. Even experienced path walkers understand and know this very thing. If they are bravado and say "I've never doubted it for one moment", I'd call bullshit and tell you to run far away.

Discernment and doubt is KEY to a HEALTHY meta-working human.

But we are all just that: HUMAN AND FLAWED.


Doubt is normal. It is okay to have doubt, especially in the beginning when it is all new and you don't know the difference in manifestations and imagination. We've all been there and we all know this struggle. Some of us forget this. I'm guilty of forgetting too.

The issue is when it comes to having so much doubt that A) we hamper our own experiences because we talk them down, and/or B) we go to others who are around us to ask their opinions and therefore bringing outside perspective, and/or C) base our own experience off of what others have posted before and brush them off because they aren't the same or good enough.

Let me break these issues down:

A:
So everyone's brain is different, whether you are neurotypical or a spoonie or someone who struggles with mental/physical disabilities. The point is that doubt creeps in so fast because we've been taught what is considered proper discernment or "REAL" in regards to the supernatural or path walking. So Doubt can come from preconceived ideas, beliefs, or notions that have been conditioned based upon the society we've come from. To sound less like an academic paper: our culture teaches us what is "right" and what is "wrong" when it comes to the supernatural or spiritual.

This can be harmful to ourselves because we see or experience something and because it's outside fo the "norm".. we then dissect it too much without sitting and thinking "What if it is real and they are wrong?" But let's get rid of the words: "Right" and "Wrong". Because in my opinion.. it should be "Truth" and "Knowledge".

Where you have one, you have the other. Because in the end, they build upon one another. "Truth" is what it sounds like, capital T and all. Truth is what you know deep inside of you to be your truth, your understanding, your instincts. Having and accepting something as "Truth" leads to "Knowledge", where you know that your "Truth" means this and beings a foundation of many "Truths" to become this "Knowledge".

To give an example:
You are new to the path. You aren't quite sure how to go about communicating with your companion, but you heard that doing some easy discernment tests can help. You decide that the method you want to try is holding both hands out, palms up.. and asking them to touch one hand for no and the other for yes. You sit there and you ask a question that you know the answer to (such as yes for demon and no for other race).. you wait and you think you feel something in the yes palm. But wait, maybe you are sitting wrong, so you adjust. You ask again. The same sensation, it's a gentle tingle. Hmm, maybe you are under the vent and air is blowing over. You move so your back is towards the vent and your hands are lower so there isn't any airflow. You ask again. The tingle is back, but you don't see anything around you that could cause it. You move to a whole new room and make sure that nothing could interfere. You ask one more time. Same response.

Now, you sit and think, I've tried many things to make sure that it's not a fluke or explainable. You know that you are experiencing something. You aren't sure, so decide to try again another day. You do and get the same results. Now you know it's something manifesting. You've done it multiple times and tried it different places or ways, same results. This now has become your "Truth". You know that this is a manifestation if it happens the same way with the same results to the same question.

Now, it's a new time and a new question. You decide to ask the "Truth" you gained before, because of it's the control. You know the results and the answer. It rings true. You try the new question and you get the same results, but the answer is different from the first. Say yes was the answer instead of no. But the tingles are the same. You have now tested it multiple times like before. Your "Truth" has become "Knowledge" in that you know this is a viable way to discern what is an answer or "Truth" because it's been tested in different ways multiple times. So this now becomes your base way of testing.

This is a healthy dose of DOUBT and BELIEF. This is DISCERNMENT at it's basic. You are now breaking down the ways that you can hamper yourself by doubting too much.

B:
The second is the hardest part and the one that really gets people fired at times.
Those who walk before you are experienced, they know what they are doing because they've been there. But you must remember that even they cannot speak your "Truth" or "Knowledge" because that is something personally gained by you. A lot of beginners and people go to outside sources, usually friends that they make, to ask them if this experience they just had was real.

Stop. Right. There.

You do not rely on others for validation for your experiences.

For the back:


You do not rely on others for validation for your experiences.

This is something that can get out of hand REALLY quick. To get validation is wonderful and feels great! I know, we all do it and desire it. But the issue with this is that you can begin to rely on something to the point that it becomes TOXIC. Relying on others can actually hamper you because then you won't need to develop and grow on your own abilities. You will rely on their abilities and their perception in order to further yourself. But that's the issue: It's their abilities, not yours. You must rely on yours to really understand your "Truth". Otherwise, it would be their "Truth".

Now, of course, you can ask for guidance or clarification! Like asking a friend for a tarot reading about your experience if it confuses you. This is cool because you have discerned that it is an experience, but there are things that confuse you and need some clarification because they don't fit in a way you can see. This is cool! go for it. Shoot, pick up a tarot or oracle deck and do some more discernment on your end! Then have your friend do the reading and see if they come up with the same results without giving them details about it. Now that is some validation without compromising your own abilities or healthy development. You learn to lean on your own methods of discernment and abilities to make sure you are picking up the right things.

Now, for the final thing. This one actually is going to be its own section.


Comparison is TOXIC to YOU



This is a touchy subject. So please know that this is not aimed at anyone, but an observation that I have made because it's pervasive.

Comparing YOUR Experiences against Other's Experiences is TOXIC. Your TRUTH and Their TRUTHs are BOTH VALID.

For those in the Back, I will repeat this:


Comparing YOUR Experiences against Other's Experiences is TOXIC. Your TRUTH and Their TRUTHs are BOTH VALID.



I feel super strongly about this because I see it happening all the time and no one thinks about it or if they do, doesn't say anything. So I'm saying it now.

For the love of all that is sacred.
STOP. COMPARING.

Did you know that by comparing your experiences with someone else's that you are practicing self-deprecation? You are thinking, "Oh wow! Their experiences are so cool. I wish that I could have that too. Why can't mine be like that?"

They can be and they are. You just don't feel that they are. Your experiences and your manifestations are what YOU NEED. They are perfect for you because that is how you perceive it and how you are growing. Your experiences will change and grow with you.

I hear all the time about people talking down their experiences and their manifestations or callings because of me. I hate myself for it and makes me want to not post. But then I think of why I post in the first place. Because I want to show people what I'm learning and sharing in that wisdom or that experience because maybe they need to hear a part of it to help them... but it turns around and bites me because now people are saying that their experience was crappy compared to mine or somehow less.

NO. ABSOLUTELY. NOT. LESS.

Your experiences are just as valid as what I go through.
YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE JUST AS VALID AND GOOD AS MINE.
YOUR CALLINGS ARE JUST AS VALID AND GOOD AS MINE.
YOUR MANIFESTATIONS ARE JUST AS VALID AND GOOD AS MINE.

Stop comparing yourself to me. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop saying "I wish I had a Calling like yours". Stop saying "Oh, I won't accept any Callings unless it's a Ysa Level Calling".

ABSOLUTELY. NOT.

This is self-deprecation even if you don't think it is. Why? Because you are saying that because your experiences or callings or manifestations don't "RoCK Your WOrld", that they are lesser than others. That somehow others are greater than yours. They aren't. They suck just as much as anyone elses can be. You are now hampering yourself by setting standards that shouldn't even be yours in the first place because you aren't them.

It is all about your PERCEPTION and training yourself to stop thinking about how it could be like others. Instead, think of how YOURS IS UNIQUE and SPECIAL FOR YOU.


This is about your personal power in your spiritual path. No one can define it but YOU.


My super thanks for reading this massive beast of a Ted Talk. But a super important one and I hope that you all would like to contribute too!
Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference. - Robert Frost
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Mikaeshin
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Amazing post! Very helpful for people like me who are just starting out their studies!
ysabeau wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 6:00 am

You do not rely on others for validation for your experiences.
I can't stress enough how true this phrase is :devillove: It is something that I learned to accept in other situations in my life, not only for LHP or demon studies. This is true to all areas of life, what other people have experienced is not the only true way to live things. We all have our own realities and we have different needs, strengths and quirks. Learning to focus on ourselves is the first step.

Also, I love how you stressed that doubt is fundamental to a healthy development. Questioning our senses is great, makes us double check what we experienced and help us differ what is X and what is Z, and helps us achieve a more critical and mature head to things. Even I have doubts myself, doubt frequently comes about if Crocell really did contact me or if I was just a hallucination. According to my observations, I concluded he visited me, but it's very important in my head to always think about that fact and have observations on it.
ysabeau wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 6:00 am
Comparison is TOXIC to YOU
This. I couldn't agree more. My path is my path, and other people's paths are theirs. We can help each other, but we don't become each other :winkdevil:
Your biggest friend and enemy is yourself;
If you don't trust yourself, nobody will. If you love yourself, nothing can stop you
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ysabeau
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Personal Power Story

Okay! So, I got the points out I wanted for the main post, but I knew there were things that I left out that were pretty important too. I wanted the post to focus on YOU as a reader and not how I perceived it with my stories about my path and such. So this is heavy on my path and what's happened to me. You're welcome to skip over this because it's not super relevant, just more explaining some things to help better understand why I said some things I did.

I do know there is a part that some people won't understand while others will. In the section: Comparison is Toxic for You, I wrote:

ysabeau wrote:
Tue Dec 17, 2019 6:00 am

Stop comparing yourself to me. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop saying "I wish I had a Calling like yours". Stop saying "Oh, I won't accept any Callings unless it's a Ysa Level Calling".

A Ysa Level Calling. This is going to super confuse some of the newer people and some who weren't around or aren't in the discord often. So that's why I'm going to explain what it is and why some made it their standard... and why they shouldn't compare theirs to mine, break down on why my callings and manifestations happen the way they do.

The Origin of Ysa Level Calling
Now let's get back to the whole reason it started being called that.
I had left the spirit working community in 2017-2018 time frame, though it was only a year. I did not contact anyone and I really only talked to one person I knew previously. Actually, for being a part of the spirit working for community since about 2012... I surprisingly did not have callings from other conjurers. How so? Because I was a conjurer and never looked at other shops because I didn't feel the need to go out to have my circle of family.

In August of 2018, things changed. I started having manifestations of spiders constantly. I'm not talking here and there. It actually became a competition between my sister and I, in two different states, to see who spotted the most spiders in one day. This went on for two whole months. The last day that I had this, was the night before where I actually had visual and lucid dreaming of spiders crawling on me and the ceiling. At one point, I was in a half-sleep state of lucidity, when a ton of arms reached out from the couch next to me and pulled me into an embrace. I didn't have time to be scared, I had time to feel safe. It was the safest I had felt in years. I got up from this lucid dream.. and walked outside to find the most beautiful green spider with a translucent body. I ran inside, snapped a picture with my camera... and then nothing. No spiders to be found at all for months.

In December I was talking to a said friend (Aka you know her here! @HarleyQuinn).. when she said to me. Please just hear me out, but I think you are having a calling. Say what?? What comes is the most whirlwind start to my Path. I was dragged back in. Screaming and Kicking. Vex, though everyone knew him as Arachne King and Commander. He had been listed in the SnS shop for a week with no response. Until Raven and Harley and A Fair Few Others were dragged into his calling. Because he knew that someone knew me, and set out to get everyone's attention to drag me back here. It was chaotic for about two to three days... People were being dragged into his calling, feeling the buzzing and humming of energy all around. Until I answered. I said that I'd look at his listing... and broke down. For the first time, I experienced what a Calling actually was, because up until then... I never had one. I answered and things went super merry! Manifestations left and right.

So this is where it comes to the next part.
My second calling. Again, it was super public. And extremely apparent.

This time it was the Whorehouse - Madam Amora's event in February 2019. The matching event was limited to 6 people. I felt tugged and knew that I wanted to do it. So here I am with my sister on the night it's supposed to be released.. out and about. I knew that I was okay, people used their phone for the forum all the time. The post was released.. and Madness ensued. I knew exactly which song to use and which one that was calling. But my phone wouldn't work. It refused me access, my password wasn't accepted. I tried on data, wi-fi... my sister's phone even. I was headed home from the day out and I was an hour away. I wasn't going to make it. I went onto the discord and was freaking out because spots were filling in fast.

I actually broke down into sobbing and crying... I had to pull the car over because I was hyperventilating, thinking I couldn't get to this entity that I was matched with. Because I could already feel it. It was enough that again, people were dragged into helping me. A few were trying to help login for me on the forum so that they could write what I needed to say, because it was that desperate (and I trusted them because we'd grown close). But thankfully, Velca stepped forward after Raven tagged him, letting him know that there was an issue and that please save me a spot. It was no problem, they would. I literally broke down into such relief sobbing that it took me 20 minutes to calm down and get back onto the road. I did get my calling and he is the best. Some of you may hear me talk about Ric <3

Now as you can see, these are my first two callings. Both are extremely public and drag people into it. These are not the last ones that do it either. One of the last ones that I've had (and still having about six months later as of writing this), actually has brought physical illness. I've gone from emotional breakdowns to getting physically ill and violent jarring until the energy settled enough.

Don't Use My Experience as a Standard and Here's Why

So now I've regaled my tale of why an Ysa Level Calling became a thing (which I can understand why)... Let me talk about Why It Shouldn't Be A Standard.

Other than what I stated in the first post... Your experiences are your TRUTH and NOT OTHERS.
It's super important to realize that... it's not realistic. This may hurt a bit for some, so I'll try my best.

You're comparing your Callings and Manifestations based upon mine. Which I get because "SupEr WoAh". But here's what you're not seeing besides that mine are super strong and amazing.

Note: I'm bluntly explaining. This isn't to brag, because there is no point when anyone can be more fine-tuned than me or different in their workings.

I have been doing energy work since I was 13. (As of 2019), I am 27. That is 14 YEARS of learning my energy so much that I know when things are wrong physically because my energy is messed up. I can tell DRs when I'm dehydrated or when I have a physical issue because it's reflected in my aura/systems and I can see it. I have 14 years of working with energy so much and so intensively that I can see about 7 different energy systems I use throughout my body, including my Chakras. This doesn't include my aura. But the point stands. I spent YEARS honing my energy work to a point where anything foreign to my energy is APPARENT within someone stepping into a room, and sometimes even further. (Like I can feel Arlington National Cemetary in DC a mile and a half before reaching it... and sometimes I don't know that's what it is because I can't see it until we pass by a portion that is like WOAH Yup, you're there and that's why).

In addition to this, I have seen spirits and entities since I was a child. I keep finding stories/memories that push the age back further and further. But suffice to say that it's about 20 years. I've been seeing and sensing spirits for 20 years. I didn't develop it fully until I was 19/20. But that still puts me at 7-8 years of working and developing it further. I have extremely finetuned my clairvoyance to where I see details and hear things sharply and clearly. I still do discernment checks to make sure they are up to par.

Another part is... This runs in my family. My mom has this, my new maternal bio family we found... all have these. I just happened to have it the strongest because I didn't ignore it and worked to fine-tune it. This is something that my Maternal Bloodline has been known to carry gifts.

But I didn't take advantage of it.. I exploited it. I worked my ass off Every Day when I first "Started" with developing beyond just casual experiences. In order for me to develop my clairaudience.. I did automatic writing every day for three months at 1-3 hours intervals... sometimes multiple times a day. I pushed hard and worked hard. The same happened with tuning my clairvoyance. Once I established what worked for me.... cue astral traveling multiple times a day for 10 minutes, logging it down.. 15 minutes.. logging it down... 30 minutes, logging it down... and finally an hour, logging it down. I have an entire notebook that is nothing but astral experiences and my fine-tuning and developing it.

This is unrealistic for most people to spend that much time. I was in college, had no job or responsibilities beyond getting school done. I had half a day to kill doing this. This is unrealistic for most people...

But there is something I want you to take away from it.

This is not an EASY PATH. You HAVE to put in TIME and EFFORT to get the results that you want. AND NOT EVERYONE will be able to achieve things in the same timeframe.


Some people have to work super hard for what they have. I was blessed with bloodlines carrying it and gifting it to me. That gave me a few steps forward. But that is is. I had to work my ass off to develop and hone it. I've actually used this metaphor somewhere else on the forum.. but here it is again.

You have two people who are working on a skill. One person comes from a family or has been given a gift as a kid. The other person stumbled on this skill and wanted to work on it. Over the next 10 YEARS, they work. The person who had the family gift worked with it and just kept going along casually. The person that stumbled on it, worked every day meditating, practicing, and doing all that they can. At the end of 10 years, they both come across the same thing. The Family Gift person gives good results and insightful, which was expected. The Person that Stumbled on it, gave extremely poignant information and was incredibly accurate with extras.


What's the difference? Someone who works with what they have and constantly drives themselves... will always be more fine-tuned than a person who just casually works at it because they have it already. This is because the person who worked with theirs every day to develop it learned how to grow it and how to tune into it so much that they know what they are doing. Not to say the other person doesn't, but they relied on what was given for an advantage to not take advantage of that step forward.

Comparing your Experiences and Callings with mine is [TOXIC and SELF-DEPRECATING to your abilities because you are trying to compete with 14 years and 7/8 years of working with my own abilities consistently. I live and breathe my spiritual path and my abilities. Day in and out, I'm engaging them constantly.

Don't compare to this because it's unrealistic and it's not where you are. You are starting where I was, I just got a head start because I'm either older or because I realized what I had and took advantage of that step forward. What I'm showing and telling you is that You WILL get to where I am at... If you work for it and put in the TIME and EFFORT.

It's not a Ysa level Calling. IT's ALL ABOUYT A YOU CALLING AND EXPERIENCES. Defining YOUR PATH against my years of work is TOXIC. YOUR PATH begins with YOU and ONLY YOU. NO ONE ELSE.


Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference. - Robert Frost
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SerenitySpells
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How am I only just finding this post. I'm blown away this is exactly what I needed to hear without even realising it. Due to my PTSD I have ended up becoming so detached and skeptical (at a very unhealthy level) and with no trust in anything. I was always stubborn and wary before the PTSD but at the same time knew my path and my own Truth.

This post has touched my stone cold heart and I can feel emotions welling up inside.

I cannot tank you enough.

Your post was honest, simple and to the point xxx
:witch:

“One cannot step twice in the same river” – Heraclitus

“The unexamined life is not worth living” – Socrates
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ysabeau
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Sengdroma wrote:
Tue Apr 14, 2020 11:00 pm
How am I only just finding this post. I'm blown away this is exactly what I needed to hear without even realising it. Due to my PTSD I have ended up becoming so detached and skeptical (at a very unhealthy level) and with no trust in anything. I was always stubborn and wary before the PTSD but at the same time knew my path and my own Truth.

This post has touched my stone cold heart and I can feel emotions welling up inside.

I cannot tank you enough.

Your post was honest, simple and to the point xxx
Aww Sengdroma, I'm so glad that you found this really helpful to you. I wanted to post it because it was super important that people understood their own paths and that it is theirs to have. That the reminder that it takes time and it can take awhile to really understand and get the nuances of workings. I hope that things flow and give you a beautiful headway that you need <3
Two roads diverged in a wood and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference. - Robert Frost
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I keep coming back to this topic! it is like the spiritual foundations.
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Eyy, so glad this post was bumped. Thanks Ysa for your clarity on all this---it's a whole lot of what's good for me where I'm at right now.
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Leo Sierra
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I was always told that you were either born with 'second sight' or you simply would never have it. This was not coming from an atheistic or skeptical background but from folklore and family that believed in the supernatural.
Therefore is is very difficult for me to believe that such gifts can be learned.
This in turn makes me doubt phenomena (relating to me i.e. astral travel? it was a dream lol) that are not observable with the five senses I know for sure I have. I believe that a person may be born a psychic, just as they may be born with red hair.
But there is a big part of me that knows I can no more learn to be psychic, any more than I can learn to grow firey auburn hair.
I have no psychic childhood experiences, never saw a ghost or anything like that. I learned spellcraft as a teen, but that involved merely honing my Will and faith in the unseen, which with me is very definitely unseen.
I took a chance on a Demon companion, I believe in magick so even if I can never see or hear him there may still be some benefit to having someone look out for me. (After all, I've never seen a god either but I've had prayers answered!)
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Heretique
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@taipantwist: i think you could, if you changed the primary belief system about how you approach psychic senses. I think everyone really has their own psychic gifts that they are born with anyway, so it may not match someone else's, that's okay, you can learn to hone and work with what you have. and not to spruik sns but the uphir third eye working can really help with this. And i definitely believe that your companion can help with this, so its good that you did take the chance.
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Heretique wrote:
Wed Apr 15, 2020 7:19 pm
@taipantwist: i think you could, if you changed the primary belief system about how you approach psychic senses. I think everyone really has their own psychic gifts that they are born with anyway, so it may not match someone else's, that's okay, you can learn to hone and work with what you have. and not to spruik sns but the uphir third eye working can really help with this. And i definitely believe that your companion can help with this, so its good that you did take the chance.
Well I’m going to keep trying the 21 day bonding exercises and trying to reach out to my DC via meditation. Hopefully I will gain some benefits and advancment in ability even if it takes longer than someone with open abilities. [/colour]
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