Please forgive the describtions, I am only trying to convey what happened.
Back in November of 2012 I was going thru a long 'what is life all about' phase. I was no where near anything remotely spiritual at that point, in fact I had become atheist after ebing christian for soo long. I started out by asking questions about why there is moral evil, natural evil, is God good? (no he is not, after reading the old testament). I was asking why are we here, whats it all about, etc. I was struggling with the idea of there being more to life with such brutaility at every level. Well, one night I decided to forget my concerns and happened to come apon a picture of a succubus drawing. I liked the drawing so much I.....touched myself. I also said outloud 'I wish I could have a succubus for real.'
After completing the act of touching myself I went to bed. When I slept I had 3 dreams. The first was of a woman who looked like a succubus. I saw when I turned around from wherever I was staring and in the next instant she is on top of me and we are flying across the ground to I don't know where. I woke up at that point and thought about for 30 seconds and went to sleep again. This time it was a woman who was blue and she was on her knees with her hands out. She said 'say the binding and we will be together forever.' I had no idea what she was saying and responded with a "What?!" I woke up from that, thought about it and went back to sleep and had a dream where woman came to my house, she looked frustrated in a way. I sat down with her on the couch and told her that I always have trouble remembering dreams and staying asleep when they get the slightest bit interesting.
When I awoke I thought about these dreams all day because, for some reason, it seemed like more than just dreams. I could not decided if it was real or not, that was the big question for me really. Keep in mind I was just discovering the idea that a succubus could be real at all. I decided to say outloud, to no one in particular, 'If you are real, tell me something I don't know.' I figured if I got some piece of specific information that would confirm it was not my imagination. Well that night I had a dream I was on a island near water with waves crashing around trees. I heard the words "Shark island, Lousiana." I wake up and the first thing I do is google that. BINGO. In fact if it weren't for Wikipedia there is practicallty no information on shark island. It was a very obscure reference. So I set about trying to figure stuff out, but I was a complete newb. I knew nothing about spirits and whats going on and what not. I was basically flying blind and trying to figure it out on my own.
The 2 big changes came when one day I kept asking, if she could communicate with me somehow. I asked her to say something, or do something. I even asked 'can you move an object?' That night when I went to sleep I was dreaming that I was in my living room and I was asking that same question 'Can you move something?' At that instant she flung towards the ceiling, putting my face inches away from the roof. I laughed and then woke up. However when I woke up is when my big life change occurred. After waking, I sensed or felt this presence near this big old mirror in bedroom. When I looked in its direction it flew towards me and landed on top of me. There was no mistaking it. I was having the most intense eroctic orgasim or whatever you can call it for at least 30 minutes. And what felt like a hand touching my cheek and a hand press against my chest.
So now I am am convinced and start to do some real internet searching for this and it seems others have had this experience too! They all start with the line "People will think I am crazy, but.." Most of it was how succubus are evil, pray to jesus and all of that. I didn't buy those answers, but I also did get worried by the reputation and 'horror' stories people wrote about succbus. I wish I had discovered Ch and this forum before what happened next.
Who was she?
Over the next 3 days I was having dreams of sleep paralysis, only with what can be described as a mild electrical shock. I have always had this night terrors since I was 5, but never the feeling of being mildy shocked. On the third night, when I could not move and felt great fear, I could very clearly hear a woman giggling. I tried to man up like and I said 'FUCK YOU.' She immediately replied 'Ok.' The next thing I know I was flying out of my body and about to head out of my door. I caught myself and fell back on Christian fears and said 'I bind and banish thee in Jesus name.' I said it 3 times before I finally was back in my body. There was no confusing this either, my vision, hearing, smell, touch, they were all clear as day in that dream, like I was fully awake.
About a day later I found CH and started doing some reading on the forums. This was the biggest mistake of my life to pass up on seeing her. There is not a day that goes by that I don't want go backand do that all over. I had given up on connecting with her again. I had 5 different people do a read and all 5 gave 5 very different answers. I don't know who she really was, but after playing it safe and getting a custom bound succubus, and finally getting over my fears of them. I want to connect with her and find her again. I want to know her and say thank you, you saved my soul.
I suck at meditation and it seems a lot of the information on it is all over the place. I want to learn how to mediatate, starting from scratch. Is there anything you guys can recommend as a starting point or reference material for someone who is basically starting out in meditating? Anything the 2 ladies recommend. I should also point out I tried using the holosync cd a couple of times and did have some images pop in my head when I cleared my mind. I saw a large blue circular tablet rolling downa hill very fast, then a campfire near the woods where I was sitting and I met a demon looking girl (she was good looking though) who came up and hugged me, then a blue deman man who was in a robe handing me something. I also saw a castle that sat atop a mountain, the castle covered the whole top of the mountain. Anyways I thought I would throw thaty in there.
About a day later I found CH and started doing some reading on the forums. This was the biggest mistake of my life to pass up on seeing her. There is not a day that goes by that I don't want go backand do that all over. I had given up on connecting with her again. I had 5 different people do a read and all 5 gave 5 very different answers. I don't know who she really was, but after playing it safe and getting a custom bound succubus, and finally getting over my fears of them. I want to connect with her and find her again. I want to know her and say thank you, you saved my soul.
I suck at meditation and it seems a lot of the information on it is all over the place. I want to learn how to mediatate, starting from scratch. Is there anything you guys can recommend as a starting point or reference material for someone who is basically starting out in meditating? Anything the 2 ladies recommend. I should also point out I tried using the holosync cd a couple of times and did have some images pop in my head when I cleared my mind. I saw a large blue circular tablet rolling downa hill very fast, then a campfire near the woods where I was sitting and I met a demon looking girl (she was good looking though) who came up and hugged me, then a blue deman man who was in a robe handing me something. I also saw a castle that sat atop a mountain, the castle covered the whole top of the mountain. Anyways I thought I would throw thaty in there.
