Maybe an experience, maybe not.
Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 9:19 am
*sigh* I wish I was more attuned to these things...I feel like the kid left behind watching their friends graduate to the next grade. 
But I've welcomed a few more entities and spirits to my family relatively recently, including Black Flame Master T (who I'm pretty sure must either be really patient or is already tired of my neurotic episodes XD ) and have noticed things actually moving forward for me. Well, aside from the day I briefly lost T's vessel and nearly had a heart attack until I calmly retraced my steps. XD
Money has been one major factor holding me back from my goals, but in the past few weeks I've had more hours at work than they usually give. Not enough to get rich, but certainly to pay a couple more bills. And one of my co-workers (who I used to be convinced hated me) outright gave me a significant amount of money to pay off a large debt with the understanding I'll pay them back what/when/if I can. I didn't even ASK them, they offered and then insisted. They're known for being generous, but I didn't ever expect this from them. Of course, I'll uphold my own obligation and pay them back ASAP. But now that they've done this, the timeframe for my goals has moved up considerably.
Not to mention I've been handling some rather heavy, intense issues and battling old scar-riddled fears that have kept me static for a long time. I figured they would forever impair me, but now I'm trying hard to push past them. I've had the urge to thoroughly clean my place, and have been thinking more deeply about issues that terrify me to identify the root cause behind the fear and learn more about the truth underneath said issues. Is it my spirit family's influence, or my own frustration at the status quo? I wish I could say, but I'm beginning to believe it's a combination of the two.
I still fight with the idea that my spirit family is all in my head, but I can't deny that even before spirit keeping, "someone" apparently was looking out for me. Too many coincidences in the past that spared me the fate of those around me. I guess my future self will be evidence enough, yeah?
But I've welcomed a few more entities and spirits to my family relatively recently, including Black Flame Master T (who I'm pretty sure must either be really patient or is already tired of my neurotic episodes XD ) and have noticed things actually moving forward for me. Well, aside from the day I briefly lost T's vessel and nearly had a heart attack until I calmly retraced my steps. XD
Money has been one major factor holding me back from my goals, but in the past few weeks I've had more hours at work than they usually give. Not enough to get rich, but certainly to pay a couple more bills. And one of my co-workers (who I used to be convinced hated me) outright gave me a significant amount of money to pay off a large debt with the understanding I'll pay them back what/when/if I can. I didn't even ASK them, they offered and then insisted. They're known for being generous, but I didn't ever expect this from them. Of course, I'll uphold my own obligation and pay them back ASAP. But now that they've done this, the timeframe for my goals has moved up considerably.
Not to mention I've been handling some rather heavy, intense issues and battling old scar-riddled fears that have kept me static for a long time. I figured they would forever impair me, but now I'm trying hard to push past them. I've had the urge to thoroughly clean my place, and have been thinking more deeply about issues that terrify me to identify the root cause behind the fear and learn more about the truth underneath said issues. Is it my spirit family's influence, or my own frustration at the status quo? I wish I could say, but I'm beginning to believe it's a combination of the two.
I still fight with the idea that my spirit family is all in my head, but I can't deny that even before spirit keeping, "someone" apparently was looking out for me. Too many coincidences in the past that spared me the fate of those around me. I guess my future self will be evidence enough, yeah?