Working From Phantasmory

[Passchendaele]

Hiya:

This working Fleshen World Sculptor, comes from Phantasmory The posting I found to be very intriguing in a way that had no clear definition, but much attraction. What it would look (read) like, I had no idea, but I really wanted to find out. It resonated with me like crazy. Some of this I will not comment on here because it is profoundly personal. I do not mind sharing the words themselves with the board, I want to share them because they are so accurate, so...The Real Me, And they showcase the stunning abilities of the Extremely Adept Priestesses over at Phantasmory . I cannot thank them enough for their work on this, it is something I will read and re-read for a long time to come. My commentary is in highlight.


~Fleshen World Sculpter~
This ritual felt itself to be a natural extension of your own energy, that’s how attuned you were to the force of the objective. You must realize indeed the power of that which was being seeded is one of your strongest gifts. Yet… it appeared to me crumpled and dormant, it was like a wilting flower… deprived of all love and sustenance and so forced to wither away without a sun. You have blocked and shut down these gifts because they are unconventional, the expression it holds lacks balance and because of this you have internally deemed it ‘broken’, when in reality it simply needs that equilibrium in order to flourish.

I have heard this, with much less detail, from a reader I trust. At the time she told me I was not asking about anything like this, but this is what she picked up on.

First of all, you hold a strong connection to feminine energy … this is nothing to be ashamed of, your energy has often fought this because it feels as if it goes against what it was taught to believe it needed to be. You are one of deep balance, both masculinity and femininity have their place within you…what is unique is that you honor the feminine in such a way where you can truly embody it. And that’s part of your magic. Where most people have the balance but only truly embody and activate the half which they most identify with, you are able to fluidly shift between the powers of both sides. Power and identity do not have to go hand in hand, you are still very masculine but it is your respect towards the feminine which has granted you an opening to really know and direct the deep creationary power of eroticism and world sculpting.

The above passage answered questions I have had about myself for much of my life. When I was younger I didn't call it “masculine” or “feminine” energy, although my real self was fully aware of these natures.

You should focus on embracing that ‘feminine’ power you possess, indeed it is a special gift and something to cherish and explore to learn of your soul’s passion and might. The imbalance will be healed once you show that true devotion to that part of yourself, while honoring what is really you and who you are.

By a strange “coincidence” this is a major reason I decided to stay here on this site and ask (sometimes stupid) questions.

In activating this, this is actually where your masculine power begins to truly find its voice and outlet. The flow of energy is complex, it does not need to be demarcated by particular roles and identities….you just so happen to have a very unique way of engaging power that transcends gender and encompasses a vast spectrum of actualization. You hold this honor towards all, it is natural that you should have such effortless access to the depths of both expressions.

Beyond the balance aspect of this power it was noted that you have a transcendent way of engaging creation. Often your erotic energies flow through the upper chakras in a way and this is where your most potent manifestation comes.

There is a very mystical layer of energy that is entwined within your sensuality and you must honor this…when you try to engage the erotic without that mysticality it feels devoid of substance (Oh, Yeah!) and it can be very damaging to your energies. When you apply this to world sculpting the prime focus for you should be on elevating your desire through those upper chakras where it will find its prime outlet. When it reaches those upper realms of energy your fleshy and primal desire is tinted with a very potent magick that then spirals into actualization almost instantaneously.

As was mentioned at the very beginning you must realize you hold immense gifts in this area, they only need to be reclaimed. For you are sensitive to the weight of this world and to the judgements cast by the mindless drones of criticism and vacuous standards. Your energy has absorbed that and it now plays repeatedly through you as an internal suicide of the soul. This hazy cast of pain and negativity blocks your power from actualization, it prevents the gifts you hold from reaching the light of your experience and the world. Liberating this through the ritual was incredibly emotional, for you began to realize that you are so much more than they made you out to be. You defy their standards and break down their walls of illusion… that has always been your way. It has been a hard path but trust you are wakening into a deep wellspring of ability and your journey has only just begun.

SHAZAM! This has brought so many "loose threads" in my life together into a coherent strand. This is a waaay archaic phrase, and maybe a little arrogant, but it popped into my head as I was re-reading this. "Give me a lever and a place to stand and I will move the Earth."

[Hella]

This is a very nice review. I'm really happy this opened you up more to your path and it sounds like an amazing experience!

[Passchendaele]

This still amazes me when I re-read it. And it is an amazing thread through the tapestry of my multiple "selves" that make up...me. I would not be on this site if I believed the Material Plane "me" was the beginning and end of my entire existence. Actually, I could never have embraced that kind of materialism because of experiences and dreams I had when I was still a pre-schooler. The one good thing I will say about growing up catholic was that there was never a time when other beings in other dimensions was dismissed out of hand. "Yes, there are Demons. Be VERY AFRAID of them. Yes, there are Angels, they want only good things for you and you must trust them without question because they are servants of the biblical god."

So I did. Not so much the Angels as the whole "god and church" part. I payed for that in ways that left a lot of emotional scar tissue. Not least in the churches insistence that I am nothing but a meat bag of "evil" desires and these MUST be crushed with the utmost emotional violence. No, I am NOT an autonomous, free being who can choose his own Path. That is NOT what the "real" god is all about. HE is only interested in your total, blind obedience to him...uh..and his church. Don't forget to tithe the church either, REALLY don't forget to tithe the church. Because our god knows when you don't fork it over, and like any good loan shark, he will Fuck You Up if you don't pay your "percentage"

As I got older it slowly dawned on me that the "Demons and Angels" part was really true. It just wasn't anything even remotely close to what Demons and Angels are actually like.

But then the Truth is not what they wanted me to learn, quite the opposite.

Anyway... that connection to my feminine energy/self has been a profoundly constant part of my entire life. And we do not live in a culture that allows men to express, let alone acknowledge, the feminine energy that all men have. When I was a teenager this caused "friction" between the real me and what the culture I grew up in told me was "normal" I was NOT "normal", but I hid that to the point of being suicidal. There is no "reconciling" this cultures bigotry with the real Me. But, it was my "problem" and not societies.

There was no aspect of femininity that could be expressed by men and allow those men to be accepted into the larger culture. Younger board members might find it hard to imagine what the fate was of a guy who didn't fit the "norm" The most terrifying thing a guy could be was a "homo" a "fag" It put a Very Real target on a guy's back. Nobody was going to jail for beating up a fag and everyone knew it, including, and especially, the fucking cops.

I am not gay or bi-sexual, but I have never, not for a moment, been unaware of the privilege I enjoy as a "card carrying" heterosexual. To say nothing of being white and having hanging bits.

So....How come I didn't "fit in?" Because I could not, can not, and never will accept the dominant cultures binary bullshit about who we are all "supposed" to be, to say nothing of the belief that, "I'm a white man, get out of my fucking way." should have the force of law. But it does.....For now.

Which is why this board is soooooo important! The Patriarchy will not fall in a cataclysmic upheaval, It will collapse from the weight of it's own racism and gender bigotry.

Not because there will be a violent revolution to overthrow it, politics like that just feed the beast. It will collapse because people will stop believing there is any Truth to be found in the status- quo. It won't happen overnight, but it IS HAPPENING, around the world, and the momentum builds by the day.

We are all part of something extraordinary happening as we speak. Our combined energy, even if we are not "aware" of it on a "waking" level, is changing the entire world. It's why sites like this manifest in the first place! To quote a song lyric, "As we have allowed ourselves to be ruled, We're gonna allow are selves to be free"

Our freedom is in OUR hands, not theirs. Our lives belong to US, not the fucking culture we live in. They think our freedom is a privilege bestowed on us by Benevolent White Men Who Know What's Best For Us.

They are gonna find out different, and I don't mean one hundred years from now.

[Hella]

It is so funny to me because I found when I delved deeper to the metaphysical and my spirit family grew that Demons can be extremely good while Angels can be extremely evil.

Nothing is really black and white and Truth tends to distort itself and warp when people like that tell their version of it.

I personally believe that you (and everyone in general) needs to find their own Truth. I'm glad to see you're finding yours.